Patrick Dawn (
bashfulshifter) wrote in
animus_network2014-01-22 10:26 am
Entry tags:
[video/action]
[Now this is unusual--the blonde man is on camera! Although it should be easy to figure out that whatever extenuating circumstances have driven him to this were not kind; unkempt, unshaven, blue eyes dead and glistening with tears, his appearance screams of a man in mourning who hasn't left his room for almost a week. And this is, indeed, the case.]
[A text apology would be the path of least resistance, but the last time he tried that people got angry at him, and he's sure that they're all angry enough with him as it is. He wants them to see how sorry he is, even if he's feeling too miserable to leave the first floor dorms. It's about all he can manage.]
[...If even that. Cameras have never agreed with Rick, and as he opens his mouth to try and speak, he realizes that they're certainly not going to be friendly with him now.]
--I-I--A-A-Ah--
[He closes his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. Don't think about the fact that you're being filmed. Don't think about how everyone checking the terminals can watch your red face blubbering about your horrible mistakes. Which they are already judging you viciously for, by the way. Just ignore that for a minute. Right.]
...S-Some...s-s-s-something-- [Rick grinds on that first syllable a few more times through his teeth, falters, gives up.] --I-I m-m-mean--l-last--th--there--th--u-um--
[He can't do this. Rick swipes off his glasses and buries his face in his hand, taking several deep, long breaths. When he speaks again, his words are still muffled in his palm.]
...I-I've m-made...a m-m-mistake...
[The blonde man sits in front of the terminal for some time thereafter, as if he's going to try and continue, but when the words don't come he quickly reaches over and turns off the feed.]
[He doesn't stay to look at replies to his post--the idea of other people commenting on that embarrassing display almost makes him sick. Instead, he stumbles back to his quiet, dark room on the first floor and curls up in his bed.]
[A text apology would be the path of least resistance, but the last time he tried that people got angry at him, and he's sure that they're all angry enough with him as it is. He wants them to see how sorry he is, even if he's feeling too miserable to leave the first floor dorms. It's about all he can manage.]
[...If even that. Cameras have never agreed with Rick, and as he opens his mouth to try and speak, he realizes that they're certainly not going to be friendly with him now.]
--I-I--A-A-Ah--
[He closes his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. Don't think about the fact that you're being filmed. Don't think about how everyone checking the terminals can watch your red face blubbering about your horrible mistakes. Which they are already judging you viciously for, by the way. Just ignore that for a minute. Right.]
...S-Some...s-s-s-something-- [Rick grinds on that first syllable a few more times through his teeth, falters, gives up.] --I-I m-m-mean--l-last--th--there--th--u-um--
[He can't do this. Rick swipes off his glasses and buries his face in his hand, taking several deep, long breaths. When he speaks again, his words are still muffled in his palm.]
...I-I've m-made...a m-m-mistake...
[The blonde man sits in front of the terminal for some time thereafter, as if he's going to try and continue, but when the words don't come he quickly reaches over and turns off the feed.]
[He doesn't stay to look at replies to his post--the idea of other people commenting on that embarrassing display almost makes him sick. Instead, he stumbles back to his quiet, dark room on the first floor and curls up in his bed.]

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[He shakes his head.]
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Do you... w-want to t-talk about it?
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...I...I-I g-guess I...sh--should...r-right?
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I mean, if you want me to leave, I-I could g-go...
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[Rick straightens suddenly, holding out a hand as if intending to grab Veronica's shoulder and keep her there--but he checks himself at the last second and pulls away, visibly shaken.]
...I-I...I d-don't...w-w-want to b-be...a-alone.
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Reaching out, she took his hand in hers, giving him a nod.]
O-okay, I wont leave.
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...Th--Thank you...
[He drifts into silence, at first not sure where to go from there. Veronica is staying...well, now he has to tell her what happened, doesn't he?]
...There w-was a...a f-f-fight...l-last w-week.
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[She was too busy and couldn't join in.]
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...I... [He gives an involuntary, shuddering sob.] ...I d-d-didn't m-mean...t-to h-hurt...I'm s-s-sorry...
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[She squeezed his hand gently. Even though she hadn't been there in person, she had easily gotten the gist of what happened.]
It's o-okay.... r-really.
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--N-No, no it--i-it's not. [Rick swipes off his glasses, burying his face in his hand.] I--I k-keep s-s-saying it w-will be, a-and--and it's n-n-not...I d-don't...know...
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W-well... y-you were b-being controlled... r-right?
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It w-wasn't you d-doing that.
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...The...th--the w-words were m-mine. I d-didn't w-w-want to...t-to s-say them, but...they're t-true.
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[What else could she really say?]
F-for everything. T-that p-probably doesn't mean much, but... I'll be here f-for you. Okay?
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[The start of a warm smile creeps over Rick's face, but it is still very sad, almost apologetic.]
...I-It's n-not your f-f-fault...
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[It really didn't matter what Rick had said during the event. Everyone would say that sort of stuff after being here long enough.]
T-try not to w-worry too much, o-okay?
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Veronica...y-you know I c-c-can't do that.
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[She can dream that you wont suffer a heart attack through your own stress can't she?.]
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I...th--thank you. [The smile fades from his face in stages.] ...I-I w-wish...I h-had m-m-more to o-offer than...m-my w-w-words.
[You know--since those don't work very well for him in the first place.]
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[Really, what else could she say at this point? She briefly looked uncertain.]
J-just... f-feel better I guess.
[She looked away for a moment. When her eyes fell on the pillow on his bed they lit up.]
Oh, y-you got my present.
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--Y-Yes. [He flashes a quick grin of appreciation.] I've, ah...k-kept m-meaning to th--thank you, b-but...
[Veronica can probably finish that sentence for him. "Busy" does not even begin to cover it.]
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I-it's o-okay, I'm just h-happy that it's b-being used.
And... [It got a sheepish laugh out of her.] I-I didn't k-know what else to g-get you.
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[He manages to hold her gaze for much longer than he has so far in this conversation. This is Important.]
...y-you m-made s-s-something for me. That's...m-more than I-I d-d-deserve from a-anyone. I-It...it m-means a l-lot.
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