animus_network | [001 ★ voice]

Entry tags:

[001 ★ voice]

So... my world's been destroyed. Yeah, not buying it. It's been tried before, by bigger and, well, probably better than whoever's behind this. In fact, I was sort of in the middle of the whole preventing the apolocypse game show right before I got zapped here, so if I could pretty please go back to that...?

Yeah, didn't think that would work. Well. Hi, everyone? I'm Willow Rosenberg, witch extraordinaire. At least they were nice enough to send me here with clothes and magic supplies. No way am I staying in the white phallus suit.

If someone could fill me in on the features that are not as advertised, I'd appreciate it. I'm sure there's all sorts of stuff to know about this place.

A tour might be nice, too. This is a lotta floors.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't worry, I've moved past my wild teenage years; I give the lady the chance to say no these days. Besides, I'd be gentle, now knowing that I'd be your first~ [Surgery is like sex to her, don't mind that.]

[Annnd now she's turning redder, though honestly it just ends up looking cute on her instead of ridiculous.]

Um. I don't think our ideas of a relationship are really all that-- compatible... [Willow just can't help being nice instead of rude even in cases like this.]

[Stein just laughs. Willow you are like the least intimidating witch ever.]

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Like I said, I try to ask first these days. Unless I don't like you, of course. You should be honored, you're the first witch I've ever liked enough to keep my scientific curiosity at bay for.

[Tentatively relaxing... She's just a little gun shy about anything anywhere near romance because of what happened to Tara. And yeah, up until her hair turns black, she's pretty much the opposite of intimidating.]

I... appreciate it. Cause I know, usually one witch turns you into a rat and then it's curtains for the rest of them. But if you want to, you know, indulge non-invasive scientific curiosity, I'm all for that. I like getting nerdy about magic - goes back to my roots.

I'd like learning a bit more about how it works. I've never really gotten the chance. The only witch I've ever had conversations with other than you wanted me dead and stabbed me with an arrow, so needless to say, I didn't get much of a chance to say "So how do your vectors work, exactly? They're fascinating." [She sighs. Probably for the best she didn't say that, really. It only would have encouraged him.]

I could tell you more about my Soul Perception too, if you wanted; back home I'm a teacher. Or was, I guess.

Somehow I'm guessing you don't mean physics vectors. I can't help you there; we don't do magic like that. But I'd be happy to powwow with you over what we do know! Knowledge flying in all directions - maybe even some goddess-shaped cookies to go with the theme. It'll be fun.

I do usually get along well with teachers. [Willow had pretty much been the darling of every teacher she'd ever had, so she can't help but feel more positively inclined with this revelation.]

Not in the slightest. [Another one of those chuckles.] They're like a combination between arrows and snakes. If you ask me, the witch who uses them is compensating for something.

And with you getting along with teachers and my sweet tooth, this could very well be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Arrows and snakes? So they are kind of like vectors. Tacky magic is always so... tacky.

I don't know, what if your friends found out you had a witch friend? They might not invite you to the cool parties anymore. And man, those cool parties.

Tacky is a fantastic word to describe that man.

And luckily for you, I've never been much of a fan of even the coolest of parties.

Sounds like a personal offense of tackiness. Does he follow you around?

To be honest, me neither. Research parties are where it's at - nothing like the newest threat of imminent death to bring everyone together.

I always thought asking about stalkers was a second date sort of topic.

But maybe I'll tell you the whole story after a few research parties are under our belts

No worries. Didn't mean to hit on a baggage-y topic. [She's just going to valiantly ignore that date implication. She jokes around with stuff like that with Buffy all the time, and it doesn't mean anything! Of course, she's never accused Buffy of being a sexual predator, and then had her proposition her for dissection... Who even propositions for that?]

Though if you want the end of the story on why I thought my friends would hate me, it might be nice if it were an exchange. Of baggage. At some point.

A trade then? Sure, sounds fair. [She shrugs] He used to work as my nurse, then he attacked my students and my school, and I had to kill him. It was a rather messy little fight.

[She takes off half of her labcoat, and rolls up the sleeve of her sweater to display a large, neat ring of puncture wounds on her shoulder.] He bit me, and his image has been following me around since. Can't get any peace and quiet to save my life. Every which way I turn, there he is. It's not real, and logically I know I'm just hallucinating, but it's hard to accept that. If you can't trust your own eyes, what can you trust, right?

[Oh, she really had... come out and said it. Willow had meant that as an out, trying not to press.]

Are you sure it is a hallucination? [she asks hesitantly, sympathetic to what she can tell is a much longer, uglier story than Stein had made it out to be when she'd glossed over it.] I've heard of something incorporeal impersonating the dead, and sometimes, the not so dead. And if he's a witch he could've had all sorts of contingencies in place for getting killed.

[Stein tries to not show how uncomfortable she is at the idea that it's not a hallucination, but other than a slight tightness in her jaw that quickly vanishes, there's no indication of it.]

I think I prefer my vastly more hopeful explanation instead. Besides, my friend cut him up pretty effectively.

With you on the preferring, just, um. Dead people tend to not... stay that way, where I'm from.

I hope you're right, though. Some people are better off gone. [This is a pretty strong statement for her to make, but Willow can't deny that that's how she feels.]

I know. And you're probably right, he's not. My friend didn't eat his soul so with some finagling, he could probably find a way to come back. I can hope, though.

If it makes you feel better, I get to make myself look really, really bad now? You didn't even do anything wrong in your story.

[Laugh] I'm hardly depressed over my situation, don't worry. But go on, I'm eager to hear what you did.

Phooey. I'd be depressed.

But I'll continue. Where did I leave off... oh, yeah. Resurrecting Buffy. [She sighs at the memory. That was long enough ago that Willow didn't feel too guilty about it anymore, but thinking about how awful it'd made her feel then, how pressured and claustrophobic to be the one responsible for bringing her back, was enough.]

After I brought her back, it... it went to my head. I felt like I could do anything, like magic could solve anything -- and the scary part was that it could. I started using it for everything. If I wanted to do something, anything, I just did it.

Eventually I started seeing a warlock to... to get my fix. It was like-- like getting high on the black arts. I was addicted. Tara left me over it; she's a w-- was-- [Breathe, Willow, breathe. More quietly,] Was a witch, too. She knew exactly what I was doing and she didn't approve.

I thought she was just jealous until the day I got into a car accident and almost got Dawnie killed. I realized I had to change. [Her hands twist together in her lap, and Willow stares down at them, shame suffusing her, old as it was. There was nothing to be done about it now.] I tried to. I wanted Tara back, I wanted to prove to her that she-- she could love me again.

It was hard, but I did it, as much as I could. It's not something that changes overnight.

[Stein frowns to herself. It sounded pretty familiar to her.]

I know that feeling. That's what dissection is like for me. It's a rush, being inside someone like that. Someone left me over it too. That roommate I told you about. Spirit. She ran away, married her then-boyfriend, had a child... She was so afraid of me for so long. She still is, really. [But at least they're talking now.]

But it's surprising you could come back from something like that.

I'm sorry, [she says quietly.] That must be hard.

I didn't, not entirely. I'm still-- working on it. I don't know if I'll ever not be working on it. But there's a little more story left if you want up to the part where I turned myself invisible.

I prefer being alone anyway.

[She smiles] And I'm guessing there's no twelve step program for that?

Lucky you. I turn into a big wreck when I'm alone. And I'm just giving you the most flattering, stable picture of myself today, aren't I?

Well, sort of. I spent some time with a coven in England that helped me recover, and taught me how to minimize the whole, self-inflicted magic thing. But it's not really... a support group. The reason I went is because... [Quiet sigh.] Tara was killed, in front of me. And all the magic in the world wouldn't bring her back; it was a natural death, not a mystical one. She was shot.

I... I lost it. I found the man that killed her, and tortured and killed him. And then I tried to end the world.

Xander talked me down. [Slight, sad, fond smile.] If it weren't for him, my Earth wouldn't exist anymore, but he stood there and talked until I came back to myself.

When I got back from England, I was terrified they wouldn't want to see me again. Hence the invisible. And that's-- the story.

I would have done the same thing. Maybe not ending the world, but that's only because I lack that ability. [So she'd killed a criminal. Stein had killed over 100 of them. And she'd tortured nearly as many, and not even just criminals. People she liked, ones she considered her friends, people she might even dare to say she loved if she didn't want to avoid that word at all costs. She didn't understand why Willow would be so upset by that.]

If they didn't want to see you again, they wouldn't be very good friends would they?

Re: [video]

guiltapalooza - 2011-12-09 06:03 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only