I've been thinking about what to do about the giant spider everyone's been getting eaten by lately, and I think I came up with something. I'm going to ask the admins to get rid of it in the suggestion box. They keep saying they want to help us, so they should put their money where their mouth is.

To anyone that was wondering what it is, someone posted saying it was a lusus? Which is like a big animal thing that acts as a guardian for a troll. Not that that explains why it was eating people, which brings me around to--

Okay, I hardly know you, but Vriska Serket, what the heck where you thinking?! If it's your lusus, you can't exactly have missed what was going on! How could you just let it eat people? I don't care if they came back, it still ate them.

Are all of you that got attacked okay?

[Teal text appears on the screen, but it is not accompanied by capital letters or numbers.]

I hλve λ problem!
Ψhoever is in chλrge of this tower, I'd lichen it if you could lend λn eλr.
It is λ big problem. I just don't know ΨHλT I'm going to do with this bλd little seed.
You see, this isn't λt λll where I'm supposed to be.
This L-ΣTT-ΣR is λ LI-----Σ! I think it's wreλthsonλble thλt I'm λ little bit UPS---ΣT!

How do I know it is a lie?
Because this isn't what I agreed to.
No, no, not at all.
I was working with plenty of time to spare.
You didn't save me!
Nothing could have saved us.
Except...
Well, you must already know if you've already gone and... interrupted it.

And to be honest, that's making me pretty angry.
Really angry.

I knew exactly what I was doing, and you'd dare to

[The text suddenly cuts off as if the writer has tried to gain a grip on their anger. When it returns, the tone is decidedly more cheerful.]

I hλve no interest in stλying!
So if λnyone could point their fork towλrds the exit, I'd be releλfed. :)

[It then switches to video. A young female troll is shown on the screen. Nothing out of the ordinary for those familiar with her kind.

Except, maybe, for the fact that she looks like she's splattered with a rainbow of paint. Huh. There is a strangely dreamy look on the girl's face, and she gazes at the camera in an unfocused manner, a smear of dark red on her cheek.]

I am Feferi, by the way. I almost forgot my shrubbin' manners!

( translation for text )

So... my world's been destroyed. Yeah, not buying it. It's been tried before, by bigger and, well, probably better than whoever's behind this. In fact, I was sort of in the middle of the whole preventing the apolocypse game show right before I got zapped here, so if I could pretty please go back to that...?

Yeah, didn't think that would work. Well. Hi, everyone? I'm Willow Rosenberg, witch extraordinaire. At least they were nice enough to send me here with clothes and magic supplies. No way am I staying in the white phallus suit.

If someone could fill me in on the features that are not as advertised, I'd appreciate it. I'm sure there's all sorts of stuff to know about this place.

A tour might be nice, too. This is a lotta floors.

Ignore. ♥