animus_network

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[ou] karkat vantas

00:01

OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW HOW THESE GO. IN A STUNNING EXAMPLE OF WHAT SEEMS TO BE A CLEAR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE, I ACTUALLY READ THROUGH THIS INANE PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I STARTED TYPING.
I DON’T NEED YOUR WITTY BANTER AND USELESS INFORMATION SO KNOCK IT OFF IN ADVANCE.
THE REASON WHY I’M BOTHERING WITH THIS FESTERING COLLECTION OF HIGHLY DISTASTEFUL HISTRIONICS AT ALL IS FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY:
I’M GOING TO TEACH ALL YOU BLATHERING NUTJOBS ABOUT THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM`.
THIS IS A HIGHLY CHERISHED SYSTEM AND I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP THIS SECOND, SHUT YOUR PUZZLE TRAP AND FUCK OFF.
BY FUCK OFF I MEAN SIT DOWN AND LISTEN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND HIGHLY RELEVANT WHEN YOU'RE GOING AROUND SNATCHING PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR UNIVERSES WHEN THEY'VE GOT IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.
`DESTROYED` ISN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS TO ENTIRE UNIVERSES, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM` IS A ONE TO TEN SCALE OF HOW OKAY YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION.
THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH INFORMATION ALREADY, BUT I KNOW THAT A VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE HAPLESS, BRAINLESS, FLESHY PINK HUMAN MEATBAGS, SO I’LL ELABORATE.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
THE SCALE IS SIMPLE ENOUGH, WHERE YOU GAUGE HOW `OKAY` YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION USING ONE DIGIT NUMBERS, A CONCEPT THAT EVEN THE MOST INTELLIGENCE-CHALLENGED INDIVIDUAL CAN UNDERSTAND.
ONE IS THE LOWEST END OF THE SCALE, TEN IS THE HIGHEST.
THAT NEEDED CLARIFICATION.
AGAIN, YOU’RE WELCOME.
FOR EXAMPLE, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKSPONGES WILL NEED ONE, I WILL RATE THE SITUATION I’M IN RIGHT NOW USING THE NOT OKAY SCALE.
THAT SITUATION BEING, OF COURSE, THAT I’VE BEEN MERCILESSLY RIPPED OUT OF MY UNIVERSE AND THEREFORE STRIPPED OF MY IMPORTANT LEADER DUTIES.
JUST IN CASE YOU’D FORGOTTEN.
RATING MYSELF ON A ONE TO TEN SCALE, WITH ONE BEING DELIGHTFULLY CONTENT LIKE A BUCKTOOTHED IDIOT DANCING NAKED IN THE RAIN AND TEN BEING PSYCHO JUGGALO ASSHOLE SUDDENLY GETTING A WICKED THIRST FOR THE KILLS
I WOULD BE AROUND A 6.
MIDWAY UP THE SCALE, DECIDEDLY NOT OKAY BUT NOT BEING AN OBNOXIOUS BULGEREEK ABOUT IT.
HAD I NOT HAD THE MENTAL CAPACITY, AS I KNOW MOST OF YOU DON’T, TO FLIP THROUGH THIS BOOK FIRST, I WOULD BE TWELVE OR THIRTEEN ON THE SCALE.
IT’S MY SCALE I CAN GO HIGHER THAN THE LIMIT IF I WANT TO, FUCK OFF.
THIRTEEN WOULD BE PEELING OFF ALL MY SKIN, FILING DOWN MY HORNS AND GOING ON A BLEARY AND CONFUSED MURDER SPREE.
I WAS FEELING MAGNANIMOUS WITH MY BRAIN POWER AND SAVED YOU ALL THE TROUBLE OF DEALING WITH THAT.
THIS MEMO HAS ALMOST REACHED ITS CONCLUSION, BUT BEFORE I LEAVE YOU DUMBFUCKS BACK TO YOUR IGNORANCE BUBBLES, I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CLARIFIED:
THIS IS NOT ME BEING OBNOXIOUS AND TELLING YOU HOW TO ACCURATELY GAUGE YOUR LIFE WITH MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND ENDLESS INTELLECT
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MEMO CONTAINING A PRICELESS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE INANE AND THE IDIOTIC.
(THAT’S YOU.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[GOD she can't even handle him right now.]

They said our world was destroyed, but whoever is in charge of this tower isn't exactly trustworthy. They like to experiment on us, and the Condesce and the culling drones are here, too. But your ancestor and another version of Kanaya are here, both with the same blood color as you. The tower changes a lot, too. When I got here, there were fifteen floors, and now there are twenty-five, not counting the floors with all the respite blocks.

Edited 2012-02-06 08:49 (UTC)

[ no that's too much he can't comprehend all that. ]

Does she know? The Empress, about me. What's my ancestor like? How do you know we're related? Why in taintchafing fuck is there more than one of me here and what do you mean by experiments?

Jegus, one question at a time! I don't think she knows about you, but you didn't exactly talk to me last time you were here, so I am not positive. And I know he's your ancestor because he has your dumb nubby horns and he's some big leader or something with your blood color. There are multiples from doomed timelines here, and that's why there's another one of you.

[ squint...s... ] Why didn't I talk to you? What did you do.

I didn't do anything! You've been avoiding me every since we had to hide out in the Veil!

The last time I poked my cartilage stump into your business you slapped me away and ran off! You can't say I was avoiding you when I went out of my way to find your sorry ass because someone ran off while someone else was in the middle of a murder spree!

[WOW.

Wow. It actually takes her a second to respond to that, and when she does, the tone of her voice makes it clear he's gone too far.]

Well, excuse me for not knowing that everyone was going to go off the deep end.