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[restitchtime]

I'm going to skip the bullshit theatrics over being forcibly removed from my universe and save everybody time, since obviously the premise here is a crock of shit. We did just fine getting out of a wrecked world once, don't need help doing it a second time. The slave collars aren't exactly inspiring any confidence, either.

What I'd like instead is to find out if there's anybody halfway between competent and sane who can tell me what you've tried smashing that wouldn't break. I'm perfectly fine with wrecking everything in this goddamn tower but I'd like to do it in as productive a manner as I can. Not to mention I don't exactly relish having to scroll backwards through what looks like a network of complete idiocy just to find out.

And I know being in some brave new world means I ought to start shrieking for the dumbasses I was with before to see if they're here, but honestly just making this post should be enough to call them out of the woodwork to start giggling like fiends all over it.

But who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky and all the morons will be distracted by something shiny for the moments it takes me to get some answers. I'm still stupid enough to hope.

Comments

[tortileghostwriter]

[...if this is what he thinks it is, this does not bode well.

close, but not quite. damn.]

a wise move to forego the theatrics and backreading through this tangled web of nonsense
likewise ill skip the pleasantries and greetings and welcomes and other things of that ilk
bit of a waste of time i should say
however if a spot of property damage is on the agenda then by all means rose you have my sword

[he's. not entirely sure it's a Rose, but what the hell. Evidence suggests as much. worst case scenario, he's wrong.]

[restitchtime]

[the color is John's but the manner of speaking was all wrong, wrong enough to attract notice even from Rose's current harried state of mind. and then he calls her Rose, right off the bat even though she didn't say a word that could give her name away. there's only one person who pulled shit like that but he never used swords so what -

at this point startling possibilities are trying to rise up in her mind and the gears grind to a halt. unwilling to go down those paths she takes refuge in her favorite defense mechanism of hostility. something was up here.]

What the fuck are you supposed to be?

[empurress]

:ε ~the empurress sits down looking thoughtful with the tip of her cute little tail twitching back and furth~
:ε ~beclaws this isnt one of the humans she knows is it??~
:ε ~the red one doesnt talk like this so she sits up strait and her eyes flash with her fierce and wild cunning~
>:ε ~ you must be an impostpurr!!!

[restitchtime]

Think that out of the two of us you've got a better chance of being the impostor, kitty cat. I don't think that Fussbudget's going to take kindly to someone running around with her color just so she can play pretend in a mystical slave tower.

[empurress]

>:ε ~the dread and most terribubble empurress thinks this silly human must have forgotten that he or she is talking to the purrson who has pawlways been the empurress!!~
>:ε ~and that she is called dread for a reason too!~
>:ε ~so the human should be careful what she accuses the empuress of being!
:ε ~ or not being i guess

[restitchtime]

Sorry, but I'm about as scared of you as I am of getting a papercut. Not that it really matters to me whose colors you want to run around in - you're all equally annoying whether you're black or pink or whatever shit in between.

[empurress]

Xε ~she giggles at the human who doesnt know that black and pink arent reel troll blood colors~
?:ε ~but she is a little bit purrious about something and will graciously show the human mercy if the human answers her question~
?:ε ~ who did the human think was suppurrsed to be the empurress?

[restitchtime]

The fact that I'm using imaginary colors ought to underline just how little I give a shit about this whole thing. Not that I'm holding my breath about you remembering that conclusion, though. Nobody seems capable of something so monumental as that.

Anyway, Fussbudget was pretty damn insistent that she was empress to be or whatever. Kanaya? Something like that.

[tortileghostwriter]

my
we begin the hostility right from the start i see
no chipper cyanic tones with the potential for tete a tete springing up like the dangers of the familiar prussian blue

and somehow i cant help but suspect you already have an inkling of sorts

[restitchtime]

I can have bad feelings and make shitty guesses until I'm blue in the face, but that's not going to do anything but make me look like an idiot.

The only danger you have from me is my breaking a couple dozen of your bones in one go, so keep that in mind and just get my daily migraine out of the goddamn way.

[empurress]

?:ε ~ kanyaya is almost the purrfect opposite of empurress so that doesnt make any sense
(:ε ~ which isnt a bad thing since the hemospectrum is purrfectly pawful and ill tear it to shreds when im empurress!
:ε ~ and i guess being empurress is kind of like being her only good instead of bad but its not her fault so don't blame her!

[restitchtime]

The only thing I blame her for is being an intolerable bitch. I have no time or patience for your alien politics, so you might as well get down off that soapbox.

[empurress]

>:ε ~the kitten of the deeps twitches her tail in irritation with this human's words toward her good furriend~
>:ε ~ im not on any ablution aid containers but you will not refer to her in that manner!
>:ε ~ shes really mice once you get to know her!!

[restitchtime]

I'll refer to her however I damn well please, especially when she's proven to be nothing more than a condescending bitch who can't keep her face out of other people's business. Say what you want, but I've got no interest in spending more time with somebody like that than I have to.

[empurress]

>:ε ~ thats not at all like the kanyaya i know!
:ε ~ you humans shore are stupid!

[restitchtime]

Sure, blame the aliens because you can't make simple logical conclusions. It's absolutely my fault that you're operating on only two brain cells, how did you know?

[tortileghostwriter]

[and wordlessly he just turns the video on.]

[restitchtime]

[there's a solid ten minute delay in her response. like fuck she's turning the video on in kind, boy.]

God, you must have fucked your universe up but good.

[tortileghostwriter]

[it's fine, he just switches his off.]

evidently so

[reversed sentiment while appearing to agree with her? YEP.]

[restitchtime]

Ugh, jesus fuck. It's like the universe decided that I needed the mother of all headaches and combined the two most insufferable assholes I know into one being.

Tell me, oh unholy abomination, does it get any worse than this or can I proceed to cursing out my existence now?

[tortileghostwriter]

you may very well proceed towards the latter option if you like
after all it appears youre part of whats at least the third go

[GUESS WHO WON'T ELABORATE IF HE PRESSES THE SUBJECT?]

[restitchtime]

That better not be your way of saying that there's two other iterations of me running around here, because if it is I'm going to reenact my past and break your nose.

[tortileghostwriter]

fear not its nothing so immediate or pressing

[it is, however, about 50x worse if he's right.]

[restitchtime]

Because far-off and looming makes me feel so much better. How did you know?

[tortileghostwriter]

yes well would you look at the time
must dash

[restitchtime]

I don't think so. You book it now without giving me any information on this shithole and I guarantee you'll turn the corner and meet a fist.

[empurress]

:ε ~the empurress tsks tsks tsks at the silly bubble headed human~
:ε ~ of course i know that the kanyaya you know and the kanyaya i know are difurrent
:ε ~ but kanyaya is still herself no matter what whirld shes from

[restitchtime]

Oh, yes, of course. How could I have been so silly as to not ignore the evidence directly contradicting that statement? My bad, I'll pull my blinders out of my sylladex and put them right on. Maybe we can go banging into walls together later.

[empurress]

:ε ~ do you believe everyfin that everybubbly says is always how they really think?
:ε ~ thats not furry smart!

[restitchtime]

Yes, that's exactly how I go through life. You've seen through my hard and cynical shell to the sickeningly naive girl beneath it. I believe absolutely everything said to me - in fact, if you told me to jump out of the tower right now I'd do it without a second thought!

God, that staggering leap of intelligence must have taken at least six neurons firing up at once. Aren't you clever?

[empurress]

:ε ~ are all the humans such beaches? or is it just you!!

[restitchtime]

I've pretty much got the corner market on unrepentant bitch, so if you're looking for someone a little less abrasive you're shit out of luck. If I run into any familiar faces I can show you a couple grade A douchebags, though.

[empurress]

:ε ~ i guess the beach who knows shes a beach is better than the beach who purrtends shes not

[restitchtime]

Of course it is. Not only do I get points for honesty it means I've got the time to perfect my skills.

[empurress]

:ε ~ not that theyre skills worth purrfecting though

[restitchtime]

Only if you're too dense to use them properly.

[tortileghostwriter]

well when you put it so persuasively how can i refuse

weve been fed a line of obvious bullshit about the destruction of our worlds as im sure you know
the towers floors are riddled with all manner of hidden traps and hazards from what ive been told by other residents

best not to sleep away from your assigned room for too many nights in a row either

[restitchtime]

The more I hear about this dump the more I'm starting to convince myself that I tripped and landed in some tryhard's attempt at a splatter horror flick. Christ.

What happens if we decide to bum it somewhere else? A tentacle monster comes and gnaws off a body part?

[tortileghostwriter]

the whole sordid affair of bullshit certainly has that touch of z grade cinema to it yes

close but not in the way you might think
the tower apparently enjoys driving those unlucky guests entirely mad

[restitchtime]

Great. If the entire tower is as useful as a typical cast in one of those films I'm going to be seriously pissed. Getting out of here's going to be enough of a headache without having to do it all by myself.

Just perfect. A supernatural prison with a hard-on for keeping to designated lists. Just where I always wanted to end up!

[tortileghostwriter]

have fun with that
it doesnt seem to be a particularly viable course of action so far

how fortunate for you then
we are all equally jubilant in the sense where jubilation is a codeword for rapidly mounting annoyance and anger

[restitchtime]

Then maybe nobody's found the right spot to fuck up. I'll throw my own little destruction party just to spite everyone else if I have to.

Good to know. Now as soon as my decoder ring comes in the mail I can join the Tower Club and speak in unnecessarily obtuse codes. This really is a dream come true.

[tortileghostwriter]

regardless of my opinion on whether or not such a thing would work it sounds as if its worth a try
i suppose ill help in such an event after all i hardly have fuckall else to do thats worth doing

glad to be of service in that case

[restitchtime]

Like I'd need your help. I'd have half this shithole trashed before you could even realize what's going on, so save yourself the trouble and just stay in your room counting ceiling cracks or whatever displaced assholes do.