00:02

[shoosh]

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?
WAS THAT ONE OF THOSE EXPERIMENTS I'VE BEEN SO EAGER TO EXPERIENCE?
OR DID EVERYONE AND THEIR LUSUS SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE GETTING THEIR WICKED MURDERTHIRST ON ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
MAN, WHAT A COINCIDENCE!
A BIG OLD COINCIDENCE, SURE.
I BELIEVE THAT INSTANTLY, TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY.
DO THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN OFTEN? AS GREAT AS BEING CHOKED IN THE HALLWAYS WAS, I'D RATHER NOT HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN.
SELFISH REQUEST I KNOW.
HOW DARE I.

Comments

[scalemate]

[Okay talking to him is still super awkward, buuttt...]

CHOK3D?
WHO CHOK3D YOU?

[shoosh]

[ top of the list of things he isn't ready to talk about to people he isn't ready to talk to ]

NOBODY.

[scalemate]

>:\
4R3 YOU OK4Y?

[hystericull]

WhOaAa yOu aLl gOt tO HaVe tHiS ShIt gEt iTs fUcKiN ExPeRiMeNtAtIoN On aT YoU?
MoThErFuCk bEsT FrIeNd tHaT'S DoPe aS TiTs
WaS It fUn? :o)

[shoosh]

NO, SHITHEAD.
HOLY FUCK IF I COULD PUNCH YOU THROUGH TEXT I'D DO IT AND YOU'D BE DOUBLED OVER IN AGONY THANKS TO THE INTENSE STRENGTH OF MY FIST.
MAYBE YOU MISSED THE PART WHERE I ALMOST DIED.

[hystericull]

Oh sHiT SoRrY BrO
YeAh tOtAlLy mUsT AlL HaVe gOtTeN ThE WiCkEd oVeRsIgHt aT ThAt bItCh
BuT LiKe, WhAt a bRoThEr bE AlL TrYiNg tO GeT HiS SaY On oF
YoU AiN'T DeAd, I FuCkInG ThInK
So lOoKs aLl lIkE YoU CaMe oUt oN ThE MoThErFuCkInG ToP, bRoThEr

[ocariness]

I believe the chocolates were tainted with some sort of evil spell. Yes, it is an experiment, I would not even begin to doubt this.
They occur... with startling frequency.
... I do not wish to say it, but you ought to consider yourself among the fortunate few. We all should. This was one of the milder ones we have had occur.
I suppose this may be redundant to ask of you, but are you all right now?

[shoosh]

I'M FINE.
YOU THINK THE SICKLY HUMAN CANDIES WERE TAINTED DELIBERATELY TO KILL SOME OF US OFF?

[ocariness]

... I am glad you are all right, in that case.

And yes, I believe so. A friend of mine and I tested this; all the sweets but one kind made the desire for bloodlust rise, whereas the plain ones cured anyone of it without any additional effects.

This is guessing, mind you, but I am certain this is an experiment.

[verymuchalive]

someone choked you?
well that beats my past few days
what happened?

[shoosh]

THAT WAS IT.
YEP.
NOTHING FURTHER TO ADD NOTHING MORE TO THE STORY JUST A RANDOM PASSERBY WITH AN ITCH FOR BLOODSHED NO BIG DEAL.
HEY LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU.
ARE YOU OKAY?

[verymuchalive]

i didnt nearly get choked so im fine
but back to you
was it a random passerby that you knew?

[restitchtime]

Congratulations, you've uncovered the horrific secret of the tower - everyone in it is lethally allergic to chocolate to the point of insanity. Would you like your rousing applause now or later?

[shoosh]

NONE OF THAT WAS ANYTHING THAT I ACTUALLY SAID, BUT POINTS FOR TRYING.
LET ME GUESS, IF THE FLIGHTY DOUCHE DAVE LALONDE TYPED IN STRIDER'S QUIRK WITH LALONDE'S COLOR AND YOU TYPE WITH LALONDE'S QUIRK IN STRIDER'S COLOR, THAT PROBABLY MAKES YOU ROSE STRIDER, INSUFFERABLE BROAD, RIGHT?
I'M GETTING BETTER AT THIS ALTERNATE UNIVERSE THING.
THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL EXCELLENT SKILLS OF DEDUCTION; I'LL TAKE THAT APPLAUSE NOW.

[restitchtime]

Actually I'm Rose Strider, bitch extraordinaire. Good effort though, Sherlock, you're making progress. Maybe someday you can climb up from the level of developmentally delayed toddler.

And maybe on that day I'll finally deliver on your long-awaited applause. Be sure to hold your breath until it happens, it should make things easier for everyone.

[thekidsare0kay]

yeah, ii gue22 iit happen2 every couple of month2.
iit'2 been wor2e than thii2.

[shoosh]

DO I WANT TO ASK?

[knightime]

dont know about you
but i loved every minute of it
every
second
even
it was like christmas came early for us
everyone suddenly decided they just had to go on a murderous rampage
and whoever didnt actually want to murder got to be attacked instead
god damn couldnt it just be like that everyday???
dying is so much fun
let me tell you about it

[shoosh]

AS MUCH AS I'LL PROBABLY REGRET ASKING DUE TO UNSOLICITED ENDLESS TANGENTS OF ABSURD HUMAN SARCASM, OF WHICH I'M OBVIOUSLY SO VERY ENAMORED WITH TO THE POINT THAT MY NUTRITION SACK IS CHURNING AT THE THOUGHT,
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

[2nd_dii2ciiple]

Ψiichotiic murderous rampages do seem to be somethiing of a staple iin thiis place.
ii got kiilled by my moiiraiil last time, so, you know.
don't take iit personally?
they're not themselves when iit happens.

[shoosh]

YOUR MOIRAIL KILLED YOU?
THAT'S JUST
HEY, MAN, I KNOW THE FEELING.
LIKE, MINE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KILL ME OR ANYTHING, BUT HE SURE AS JEGUS FUCKING TRIED.

[grimauxilatrix]

Karkat
It Is Good Know That Being In This Tower Has Not Changed You

Sadly Being Killed Here Is A Rather Normal Occurance

[shoosh]

KANAYA??
HOLY HANDMAID WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE MISSING.
AS IN NOT HERE.
AS IN STILL IN THE VEIL WITH A MEDDLESOME MEDDLECLOWN WHO WANTED TO GET HIS MEDDLE ON WITH YOUR APPARENTLY UNDEAD INSIDES.

[empurress]

>:ε ~ it was terribubble!!
>:ε ~the empurress glubs indignantly because she hates people doing things to her furrends~
:ε ~ is this karkitty though??

[shoosh]

OH NO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE.
I'M UP TO MY NUBS IN ALL THESE ALTERNATE TIMELINE BLOOD FUCKUPS.
THIS IS MESSING WITH MY HEAD.
NO, LET ME GUESS.
TYRIAN NEPETA, ABDICATED EMPRESS-TO-BE.
USING MY UNRIVALED SKILLS OF DEDUCTION AND THE FACT THAT I'M PRETTY SURE IF ANYBODY ELSE CALLED ME KARKITTY I'D HAVE THEM STRUNG UP BY THEIR CARTILAGE STEM AND PUT ON DISPLAY.