002 ♑ [second honk]

[hystericull]

HoLy mOtHeRfUcK, tOwEr pEePs
OkAy a bRoThEr gOt a fEw tHiNgS To gEt aLl oUt hIs cHuTe
FiRsT ThInG To bE AlL SpEwInG At tO ThIs sCrEeN Be

Uh

UhHh

Oh fUcK, oKaY I AlL FoRgEt wHaT ThE FiRsT MoThErFuCkEr wAs sUpPoSeD To bE BeInG
BuT ThE SeCoNd hAs tO AlL Do wItH ThIs dOpE FuCkIn pIeCe oF ArChItEcTuRaL BeAuTy
WhAt's tO Be gEtTiNg iTs mOsT WiCkEd oF ChIlLs oN RiGhT Up iN ThIs fUcKiN HaLlWaY
ChEcK ThIs sHiT OuT, mOtHeRfUcKeRs

[The video flicks on, a pair of gray hands fumbling with it for a second, then moving away to reveal an enormous pile of bike horns, pretty obnoxiously obstructing a majority of the top-floor dormitory hallway. Two large, orange-yellow goat horns zip in front of the picture as the author of the post begins chattering away instead of continuing to type.]

So like, I all thought to my fuckin' self, why this motherfucker gotta be holing up all in the crazy room by his lonesome with all these bitches when he could be all to getting his ass out at where there be more motherfuckers to all share them honk horns to! I got pies and Faygo, too.

[He pauses, straightening up so he's speaking directly in to the camera. Now visible, this troll comes complete with a monochromatic clown face and an untamed mass of gravity-defying black curls. He holds up a tin of green slime and a Redpop Faygo to lend credibility to his promise of refreshments. Long, stained fangs flash intermittently as he continues his advertisement.]

Uhhhhhh, and, uh. Oh, fuck yeah. Someone gone and stuck this motherfuckin' tower in the damn thermal hull, I think. So any motherfucker what's up for takin' their harshest of toasty snoozes all on at this fuckin' location be only have to fork up some to-be-determined currency. Once I all, uh, find out what this place all to be using for some such of things.

[A pause. His half-lidded, glassy eyes stare into the camera disconcertingly for a very uncomfortable length of time.]

Oh. Uh. ...That be all, motherfuckers! Get at me! Honk!

Comments

* u *

[floreatnoctem]

'Humans', Gamzee.

[She doesn't like the way he says it, though she's not certain he's even aware how it sounds.]

And as I said, perhaps another time. I am still not quite accustomed to piles.

[hystericull]

[Tilting his head. What?]

Uhhh, humans...? What all about 'em?

[Forgive him, he's an idiot.]

[floreatnoctem]

That is what we are. Not simply 'pinky' or whatever else you choose. It is... impolite.

[She doesn't think he's stupid- yet- but she does think he needs to think before he talks a little.]

[hystericull]

[Squinting.]

Ain't to be having no fuckin' idea that motherfuckin' termage was all up and like, frowned down upon or no shit what's like that.

[Never mind that "termage" wasn't an actual word. He offered his hands up in apology.]

Don't meaning to be gettin' the offense noise all emanating from your way, sister. But, uh, what all else I be at able to call y'all motherfuckers that be soundin' a little more mystical than that?

[floreatnoctem]

It depends on whom you speak to, honestly- but for most, just 'people' will do, really.

[You're strange, Gamzee.]

However, if no one else minds, then you don't need to change how you address them.

[hystericull]

You got that shit all locked motherfucking secure as can be with this motherfucker.

[He knows. He knows.]

Maybe I oughtta be all up and getting my wicked inquire on as to what all you little dudes and bitches be preferring to be like, motherfucking addressed as and shit what's to be like that around here.

[floreatnoctem]

Thank you.

[Does he really though?]

Well- I usually prefer my name, if that is any help at all... though I cannot speak for the preferences of others. Though I also doubt you will get to know everyone in the tower.

[hystericull]

Fuuuuck, I am so down with the name shit, Chidorisis! ...Except I kinda fuckin' ain't. Motherfucker ain't all what's too good at getting his remember on at them sometimes. Lots of brothers and bitches to all be having different ones, you motherfucking feel me, yo? Can't all be hoping much to get them all fuckin' straight.

[No, no he probably doesn't.]

You tryin' to motherfucking tell a brother that you all can get the shit sorted out in your pan to get callin' every other motherfucker all by their crazy respective like, motherfucking handles!?

[floreatnoctem]

Nothing was ever lost by making an attempt- that is to say, you'll never know if you're really that terrible at remembering people's names unless you try, now will you?

[Le sigh. You kids...]

I am usually quite good with names though, yes.

[hystericull]

[He ponders that for a second. And by "ponders that for a second", I mean he stares blankly at her for an uncomfortable stretch of time.]

No matter how hard a motherfucker be tryin', he ain't never all managing to get his fuckin' recall on of everyone, yo.

Maybe a sister gotta be all up and getting her motherfucking assistance all kicked at what's this brother's general fuckin' direction!

[floreatnoctem]

[She doesn't mind- her own stare can be pretty uncomfortable when she tries.]

If you would like the help, I would be glad to try.

[hystericull]

[Really!? He actually wasn't expecting her to agree, but is ecstatic that she has!]

Fuckin' bitchtits, yo! Wicked gratitude all flowin' what's up in your motherfucking direction! So, so like, uhh... what's a brother all gotta do to even want to all motherfucking get his start on of tryin' to get down a motherfucker's name what's the right way?

[floreatnoctem]

Well, a question, first- what is it you have the most trouble with, when it comes to remembering names?