animus_network | [004 ★ text]

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[004 ★ text]

You know what, I am so sick of this. Completely sick of this!! And look at me, repeating myself and using multiple exclamation points (two!) like a rebel. Because I am a rebel!

I'm tired of all these embarrassing personal incidents. When they aren't embarrassing, they're deeply horrifying and disturbing. I just want regular old test taking anxiety again! I want worrying about whether Anya is going to ask Giles if he has a new orgasm friend yet in public! And all that demon stuff, even that was familiar.

But here it's like, oh, here's that troll kid I'm friends with and he got his arm torn off. Here's me turning myself into a troll and going creepy stalker over Aradia. (Which by the way, oh Goddess am I sorry for and eternally mortified about.) Or here's me picking up the bloody scraps of the clothes of the double of someone I'm friends with!

And don't tell me I'm using too many of's there, I told you I'm a rebel today! I just want my test taking anxiety back, darn it. I'd even take worrying over when I'm going back to college, and that was a lot of worrying.

... Okay, whining done. End whining. In other news, who's still having wacky collar-induced sickness and power-tampering shenanigans? Cause frankly I'm finding this really worrying and I want to get to the bottom of this.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If that's what you want to do, I'm behind you all the way. And it really does mean a lot to me that you want to be friends with my friends. Just... so you know.

They are, but being hidden isn't a lot of fun, either. We're not exactly the most normal couple that's ever coupled. It might take some explaining.

Putting it on the whole tower sounds like a one way trip into experimentation land, if you get my drift. Honestly I'm not sure it'll like it all that much if I do it on one room. This building just has a, I don't know how to put it, a cold feeling to it. As for how it works... there's a few options. I could make it so violence is physically impossible, or you automatically leave if you get violent thoughts, or you just never want to. Varying degrees of difficulty and mental intrusion.

i knoww
and if i had any friends id wwant them to like you too
but it can wwait if its too awwkwward right noww or something im just sayin if you need time and arent ready its fine

wwoww
just wwhen i think i havve grasped the limits a your powwer you come up wwith somethin more terrifying

I'll ask Xander what he thinks about it. I don't like keeping things from her, but I'm not sure I want to tell her, either. You're like the one thing I never have to worry about.

That's pretty much how I feel, to be honest. But it's not really limitless -- I still have to obey the laws of the universe, and some things I'm just not that great at. Plus you saw the addiction problem. So mostly I try to stay away from anything like warding an entire building if I can, anyway, and definitely anything even vaguely mind control-y. Thinking of doing that again gives me the major skeevies.

wwait, are you thinkin a not tellin her evver?

right wwell no skeevvies allowwed, so you can just wward the party
wwhat happens if vviolence is physically impossible?
ii dont wwant to havve to leavve if i wwant to punch sol...

No, no, I mean. I have to, don't I? Pretending it never happened is too hard. I just might make Xander stand there awkwardly for emotional support while I do it.

It's all or nothing, sorry. Trying to create a loophole for someone would make it too unstable, and my control isn't good enough for that. It'd be like trying to keep a hole in your sock from getting larger through will alone. So you'd have to do your punching outside if I put one up.

it just seems to me that shell probably figure it out and you dont wwant that to happen

but at least i wwont LEAVVE wwithout meanin to right?
i think thats a better option

I can't say you're wrong there. Me and secrets do not have a good history. It's not you I don't want to tell her about, anyway, it's Tara. I'm worried I'll start crying and won't be able to stop, and I've been doing so good lately.

Oh, no, I was just listing examples. I'll probably make it so you'd just... stop, like none of the hits would land. Simpler is better.

but shell wwonder wwhy wwere bein real affectionate in public and then think you wwere cheatin on tara
wwhich you wwould nevver do im sure and i wwouldnt wwant a friend a yours thinkin something vvile like that
do you wwant me to be there maybe?

thatd be okay
yeah id like that
wwhat about sols powwers?

No, you're totally right, and I am going to tell her. Yes. No weaseling out of this. You don't need to be there, but I might suddenly show up and start crying on you afterwards, and I apologize right now in case that happens.

More of the same, just wouldn't work. Like, kaput. If you think it's a good idea, I'll do that, then.

you dont havve to apologize for cryin on me
are you sure you dont wwant me to be there?
ill wworry about you bein so upset and me not bein there

sounds like the best idea

Won't it be awkward for you? You barely know Dawn, and I'll be getting weepy about my ex, who must seem like this mythical figure on some pedestal that you could never compare to, but you so compare! I don't want to make you feel that way.

yeah itll be awwkwward but i havve a responsibility to be there for you wwhen you need me

Goddess, how are you this perfect? Did you practice or something? Because you're really perfect.

wwell i guess you could say i practice

Well it's really paid off.

But, um, you really don't have to go with me. Dawn's probably going to get upset, and she can get kind of cruel. She is a teenager. I'll come find you after, okay? For sure.

okay wwell i wwont argue
ill wwait for you
shed better not be too cruel

Even if she is, it won't really be about me. Dawn's lost a lot of people in the past couple years. Her mom, Buffy, and now I have to tell her about Tara. It'd be kind of like if you lost a lusus three times in a row, almost.

oh
i get it i didnt realize it wwas like that
im sorry if i wwas pressurin you

You're doing the opposite of pressuring, I promise. I told you you were perfect, didn't I? Don't change a single thing.

i dont knoww i might havve been pressurin a little
but im glad youre not irritated
your the one bein perfect
caring about evveryone making evverything wwork youre really the swweetest thing
my wwitch

Oh, well, you're all important to me and I want you to be happy. I don't know if it's really that special.

And it's not pressuring if I want you to. I always want you there.

its fuckin miraculous believve me

i alwways wwant to be there

Miraculous, wow. You could write greeting cards. As long as you only send them to me, cause admittedly feeling a little possessive now that we've established each other's relative perfection.

Is it okay to be possessive of at least this quarter of you?

a course i hope you wwould be <3

Is that a thing? Wait, hang on.

<3<3<3

Edited 2012-03-27 15:33 (UTC)

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