anon text (as usual)

[nodeviations]

This post, if people would like to utilize it, can be used to quickly meet up with those you were separated or stranded from during the previous month, as well as ensuring one another of your safety.

This will help ensure that we have one place to check for such correspondences, and will not flood the network with an overabundance of the same sentiment.

You're free to utilize your own means, of course- I simply figured this would be a useful tool, after all that has happened.

Comments

[hystericull]

[A quite audible sigh came to a stuttering halt right before it passed through Gamzee's lips. Stop. It would only make things worse. This was so difficult, being right here, right now. He'd thought living with the knowledge that Tavros would never want anything to do with him in a more flushed manner was hard enough, but having the small, slight glimmer of hope presented to him - knowing he would probably be able to coax it out, tend to it until they'd both shared all of what was on their minds and came to a more red resolution - and then choosing to turn a blind eye to it? Was torture.]

[But, he smiled. There was really no other option. What if he did pour his heart out to the boy? What if it was more than just an offhand solicitation spewed by a high-off-his-ass kid with a blinding flushcrush in the wake of an emotionally-charged rap-off? What good would it have done? It would have subjected Tavros to all of the shit Gamzee had discovered, but not understood in the slightest, about himself in these past five months. That was no miracle. And that was something not even Karkat needed to be subjected to. The thing with Karkat, though, was that Gamzee had no choice. Sure, his pale feelings were as strong there as his flushed ones were here. But having Karkat as just a friend would not keep him as sane as he needed to be. Even if it was bad for Karkat to be quadranted to him, it would be worse for everyone else if he weren't.]

[This quadrant he was able to forsake, even if he did it very, very ruefully.]

[But, gods, Tavros' eyes were fluttering shut, and his face was pushed up against his arms in a way that made his little cheeks puff up and Gamzee had been closer to him than he had ever been able to get outside of a brohug and... what would happen if he just... slid the rest of the way down his horn and kissed his cheek? That... that wouldn't be so bad, right?]

[Just, as friends?]

[Uh-huh. As friends. Right.]

[Forget it, asshole.]

[Instead, Gamzee placed a hand on Tavros' back, giving it an affectionate rub to go along with the smile that no one was seeing because the only person it was directed to had his eyes closed.]

That's all I motherfuckin' need, my brother.

[pushedaround]

Heh, that's good ...

[ Even if he couldn't see the smile on Gamzee's face, he can certainly sense it in the warmth of his tone and the soothing touch on his back. It brought a smile to his face, his cheeks taking a lighter shade of orange as he relished a rare moment of serenity.

You know ... all he needs to do is forget, and maybe in time, it could be a thing he can accomplish. Still, the lowblood was far too smitten by the tiniest gestures it was almost hopeless. It's not like he ever had anyone to pamper him this way-- other than his lusus maybe. A little nuzzle here and there is all he managed to get, and maybe when he really needs it, he gets to cuddle with tiny Tinkerbull, but even back then he didn't enjoy being such a burden. It got worst when he couldn't use his legs, and he forcefully learned to suck it up and stop being so dependent on his lusus or ... anyone else. Due to his gentle personality and paralysis, troll society is convinced he's not worth a whole lot. And he almost believed it, but then-

Enter Gamzee Makara.

Don't get him wrong, Tavros had a lot of good friends. Aradia, Kanaya and Nepeta ( Vriska maybe )- they had moments of showing amazing support, but Gamzee is ... different. He was always there, even when he didn't ask for it. He just made him so ridiculously happy, and it only takes one of his clumsy grins to get the job done.

So, if Gamzee is still smiling around him and being this close, he figured it can't be that bad! Yes, he wanted more, but Tavros is not greedy, and he can certainly find happiness with what they have right now. So, it's going to be okay- he comforted himself. It's going to be okay.

.... Why does it still hurt?

When he snapped out of it, Tavros was almost convinced he had passed out and hoped it was only for a few seconds and not an awkward long time. He coughs before letting out a small chuckle, feeling embarrassed. Okay, joke about it quick! ]

Did I snore?

[hystericull]

[Gamzee was in the middle of trying to figure out how long he could leave his hand on Tavros' back without the kid turning to look at him like he was a creeper. It turned out to be an absurdly long time, but then he noticed the rise and fall of his breathing against that hand had slowed considerably. Had he...?]

[Oh, was that the most adorable thing he had ever seen.]

[Gamzee lifted his hand from Tavros' back, sitting there patiently, contentedly. The poor boy must have been so stressed out, so tired from all the shit they'd been put through. And then this whole thing on top of everything else? He'd been harping at Gamzee to get some rest, when he was the one that really needed it. Instead of folding his arm back underneath his horn with the other, he lifted it higher, running those bony fingers of his through the fluffy mohawk on the top of the boy's head. Touching him this way wouldn't hurt either of them if Tavros didn't know about it, right? Gamzee could just... pretend. For a second. That this wasn't creepy as hell.]

[The methodical, repetitive motion of carding through Tavros' hair soon sent Gamzee to lay his head on his horn once more, eyes drifting shut himself.]

[He woke before Tavros, if only shortly. His arm had fallen to his side, one of them still hooked beneath the horn his head had been sleeping on. How... long had they been out? Looking around the library provided no clues, because this place was always Snoozeville at any time of the day or night. Tavros' voice roused him from his remaining sleepiness, and he turned his head to respond, grinning wryly.]

Only the most miraculous of snores this brother was all ever to be gettin' stuck in his ducts. You slam in your sleep, motherfucker. You ever know that?

[pushedaround]

[ His muscles ... hurt.

It only means they've probably been out cold for an hour or so, maybe less or more, he couldn't tell, but it was long enough to get his muscles all stiff and sore. They're not in the best position to be napping, and it wasn't his intention, but he'll blame it on that awesome back rubs he was receiving earlier. Still, it didn't stop him from smiling as he tried to look at his brother ... without poking him with his horn of course. ]

Only when I'm really drained, bro! Not sure about 'slamming' but -- I tend to kick around in my sleep, and maybe snore a little. I don't know, never heard myself sleeping, that would be weird ...

[ What is he even talking about?!! Gosh, he is still trying to shake off the exhaustion and there's a stupid grin on his face to match it because his buddy is probably just as tired as him. It was no surprise, considering the shit Gamzee went through. Without changing positions, Tavros managed to unfold his arms, resting his chin directly against the surface of the table before he stretched his arms forward, his legs following the lead as well. Stretching, feeling his muscles coming back to life and then flopping down to his sides lazily.

He tries to look at his brother again. ]

Did you manage to get any rest at all? If you're still sleepy-

[hystericull]

Nahh, don't wor--

[Ehhh, didn't Tavros just give him a lecture about not being real with him? Gamzee was pretty sure that he had. It was best not to lie to the little guy, but... he just... couldn't bring himself to add any more unnecessary worry to the boy's life! Not that him not getting enough sleep was much of a worry - it was actually kind of petty compared to everything else, actually. POINT WAS, even though it felt bad to complain over such trivial things, it'd feel even worse to deliberately go against something his bro had specifically asked him to do.]

...Kinda still got the naps scratchin' all up at behind them motherfucking lookstubs, brother. Ain't nothin' a solid snooze won't all be to fixing later, though.

[Watching Tavros try to maneuver beneath him gave Gamzee a laugh. He lifted his head, cracking his neck obscenely from the way it had been craned while he slept. It eased his muscles while simultaneously freeing Tavros from the weight of Gamzee's head.]

How 'bout you?

[pushedaround]

[ Once the weight was lifted off his neck, Tavros moved to straighten his back, rolling his shoulders with an audible crack before sulking a little against his chair. Okay, time to look through his options here.

Option one: Totally lie and pretend those few hours managed to do the trick, and he's as fresh as ever.

Option two: Tell the truth and admit to Gamzee and to himself that he needed more sleep just so he can deal with all the stress. Pathetic but true.

Option three: lean over to kiss his cheek and whisper 'good morning' into his ear even though it's the middle of the day, and it makes no sense, but it sounds somewhat appropriate in his head ????!

.....

Okay. ]

... Not going to lie, bro. I do feel ... a little tired. Heh. [ He shrugs. ] Not sure if I can get a decent rest, but- it's worth the shot. I guess.

[hystericull]

[Gamzee smiled. It was a wobbly one, and it really wanted to drop off of his face, but it was genuine. They were both not doing very well, he'd come to conclude, and there was no point in carrying the burden alone if you had such a good friend who was going through tough times, as well.]

I got a prize, brother.

[The smile took on a slightly darker edge, and he fiddled with a few pink curls that had managed to stick to his face.]

For makin' it all up outta the motherfuckin' game they were to all have us motherfuckers be playing. Gave me my 'coon back, them generous motherfuckers did.

[It had been an awkward reward. It seemed to be doing more harm than good, given his addiction, but then again, that's probably what the Tower had intended.]

You be all sorts of motherfucking welcome to take a wicked snooze on up in that bitch if you'd all be wanting to, bro.

[pushedaround]

[ When the time is right .... he'll have to ask his friend what's the deal with the pink hair. One day.

The idea of accepting Gamzee's invite was rather tempting, but he really had to think about whether it would be wise to be all and up in the highblood's business even more. He caused enough trouble already and taking over his recuperacoon didn't sound right at all. Plus, Gamzee needed the nightmare-free rest more. He couldn't take it away from him.

He smiled as he playfully nudged Gamzee's side with his elbow. ]

I really appreciate the offer, bro. But- I'll be fine! I got used to sleep without the sopor slime, so it's not a big deal. Just a few hours of rest and I should be a-okay.

[ He paused, dropping his gaze down to his knees and shifting slightly. ] And then ... maybe if you, uh, want we can play ... a game or something? If you don't feel like it ... we don't have to! Just a suggestion, ya' feel me?

[ Just ... making sure all is good between them again. He couldn't leave before doing so. ]

[hystericull]

[WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE PINK HAIR!!!]

[Honestly, Gamzee had not used his recuperacoon since it had been awarded to him. He'd inspected it, made sure it was his (it was, oddly enough. How did the Tower even...? Eh, no matter.), and maybe possibly harvested some slime from it every now and again for... research purposes.]

[As Tavros' elbow jutted against his side, Gamzee made a quite undignified honk as it tickled him, and he jumped awkwardly in his seat.]

Don't be all like that way, motherfucker. If you all want to get them limbs of yours in on my slimepod, then alls a motherfucker's gotta do is get his tell on in another brother, yeah? Shit be always open if you're to be motherfucking needing it, yo.

[He tilted his head in confusion at the sudden drop of attention, following Tavros' eyes to his knees and listening to his offer with a grin blooming across his face.]

Anything you want, motherfucker. You all know I be down for kickin' the wicked shit like what's that way.