001 [action/text]

[givesyouaboner]

Specifically for the occupants of 2-10
<sub>[When Dirk awakens and can't move at first, he finds himself panicking. This isn't something that normally happens, so it's a huge relief when he actually is able to move. Immediately, he's able to tell he's not where he should be. His memory is a little hazy due to the fact he's still waking up, but he knows that the last thing he was doing, which certainly wasn't sleeping. Who could sleep when their home was under attack?

The letters he finds answers a few of the initial questions he has, but it leaves a billion more unanswered. His world was destroyed? Given the state it was in, he isn't surprised, but he was supposed to get into the game first. He's pretty sure this isn't it. This is horribly disconcerting, because he can't help but wonder about his friends. Did they make it to safety? Are they here?

After another few moments, he's aware he's not the only person in the room either. Well then.]</sub>

...Who are you people.



Network; open.
I'm not entirely sure what is going here, so perhaps someone can shed some light on this situation.
How is it that I've arrived here?
I'm finding the information provided by the welcoming committee highly doubtful for a multitude of reasons that I don't have time to get into at this time.
With that, I'll cut to the chase; in the off-chance that it's actually correct, that my world was destroyed, I must ask.
Does anyone know Roxy Lalonde, Jake English, Jane Crocker and their whereabouts?

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

I know a thing or two about that. Sometimes all there is to do is learn about everything there is to know about anything.

[restitchtime]

That or wreck shit, and for some reason people get kind of pissy about that idea around here. God knows why.

[givesyouaboner]

But that's obvious, Rose. Everything here is just so invaluable; look at all the Tower has provided for everyone. Wrecking shit is just so ungrateful.

[restitchtime]

I guess you're right, now that I think about it. Must be that in this entire tower I'm the only selfish bitch around with horrible deviant ideas like that. I'd almost feel ashamed if I had a conscience left.

[givesyouaboner]

Oh yes, you're absolutely dreadful. I should be disappointed knowing you're so ungrateful, but what can I say. I'm an asshole.

[restitchtime]

Shit runs in the family, unfortunately. Can't fight what's wired into you so you might as well just learn to live with it.

[givesyouaboner]

If you can't beat it, might as well exploit the shit out of it and be the biggest assholes ever.

_{[Yup, he's definitely liking her style.]}

[restitchtime]

Damn right. Only a complete idiot would try and ignore what's basically free license to do whatever the hell you want if you play it right.

[you're pretty all right yourself, glasses asshole]

tmw you're waiting on a tag and then realised your forgot to hit submit /)_<

[givesyouaboner]

Exactly. Luckily, idiocy isn't a Strider trait. If that ever was the case, in the most unironic of levels, said Strider would lose their Stridership.

_{[He's just being ridiculous right now but he doesn't care.]}

yeah, i've been there

[restitchtime]

Doesn't mean you can't skate the edge every now and then. I can think of a couple asshole Striders who teeter every now and then.

[HER BRO IS A DICK SHE HATES HIIIIIIIIIM

and is also being pretty ridiculous atm but gives exactly zero fucks]

it happens more than i'd like to admit

[givesyouaboner]

Nah, that's legit. It's only once they cross that line. Then they're forced into joining the English Brigade.

_{[SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN THE DIRK HE'S ROOMING WITH. he's so amazing and not a disappointment at all and omg seriously Dirk is glad his older!alternate self isn't lame.]}

your secret's safe with me :|b

[restitchtime]

Or the Egbert Corps if they really fuck up.

[IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU AS WELL SON

SHE'LL POUR OUT A GOOD ONE FOR THE AMAZING PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN :,(]

u3u ty

[givesyouaboner]

Which is the worst; once they're there, it's no going back ever. They're the laughingstock of the entire company.

_{[C'MON, ROSIE, GIVE HIM A CHANCE.]}

np np

[restitchtime]

And eventually they even stop being funny and you can't help but feel bad for how fucking low they've sunk. It's a bunch of bad shit all around.

[HE'S DEAD IN HER EYES FROM THIS MOMENT ONWARD]

[givesyouaboner]

All that's left for is to mourn for their once awesome memory and click our tongues.

_{[HE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DONE. ARE YOU EXPECTING TO JUMP THE SELF-LOATHING BANDWAGON?]}

[restitchtime]

And maybe write a book about the whole catastrophe and get fucking rich off their misfortune.

[SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA LET'S GO FOR IT]

[givesyouaboner]

Then adapt it into a series of films to further humiliate them; it'd instantly become popular among those who can't even read.

_{[WHO KNEW HAVING AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SIS-SLASH-TECHNICALLY-ECTOBIOLOGICAL-DAUGHTER WOULD BE SO DIFFICULT.]}

[restitchtime]

They'd completely miss the point in favor of the flashy graphics and big name stars. Fuck, we might as well slip in some jabs at them with an opportunity like that.

[THERE'S PROBABLY SOME OBSCURE SCI-FI WRITER WHO PREDICTED THIS ALL AGES AGO]

[givesyouaboner]

Depending upon the severity of their crimes we might obligated to forego the use of subtle ironies. What a shame it would be.

_{[WELL IT SUCKS. HE WANTS HER TO LIKE HIM. IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S EVER GOTTEN A CHANCE TO, YANNO, TALK TO SIBLINGS OR ANYTHING BEFORE THIS.]}

[restitchtime]

Have an actual direct conversation with someone? I don't think the dumbasses will be able to handle it without going to pieces.

[GETTING ROSE TO LIKE ANYONE IS ALREADY NIGHTMARE MODE CHALLENGE. BEING RELATED JUST RAMPS THE DIFFICULTY UP TO ELEVEN.]

[givesyouaboner]

That makes it an easy win.







_{[CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.]}

[restitchtime]

I don't know, I think I'd disqualify it instantly on account of the fact you're basically fighting an unarmed and comatose opponent.

[GOOD LUCK YE BRAVE IDIOT]

[givesyouaboner]

Whoever said anything about playing by the rules?

_{[SURELY ONE DAY HE SHALL SUCCEED.]}

[restitchtime]

Considering the poor fuckers are already at a disadvantage it's the least you can do to be polite.

[MAYBE ON HIS DEATH BED]

[givesyouaboner]

I suppose. However, I'm never one for leniency.

_{[THEN IT WORKS THAT DYING HERE IS A COMMON THING, HUH.]}