The Dolorosa (
mamadonna) wrote in
animus_network2012-07-02 06:40 pm
002 ♍ In Which Our Correspondent Discovers The Function Through Which To Visually Broadcast
[ The video clicks on to show Dolorosa fussing with the computer. Well, most of her. Only the bottom of her head is visible, as whoever used this terminal last is far shorter than she is. After a few moments of this, the camera shakes and refocuses to show her face, and after double-checking it against the display on the monitor, she smiles and places her hands in her lap.
She looks tired, and the bags under her eyes have deepened from getting very little sleep this past month. ]
Well, I'm pleased to see they have heard and followed my suggestion to improve the cafeteria menu! The recent state of affairs has been simply atrocious, we can't have growing children expected to receive their necessary sustenance from such negligent offerings.
More than this, it allows little excuse for one to not eat healthfully, so I must encourage you all to observe your proper nutritional schedule each day. Should you require assistance, or perhaps more direct motivation, [ ie. her pulling you by the ear to the cafeteria ] my services remain available.
I'm glad to see local operations improving following the dreadful events of the past weeks.
[ Of course, she...doesn't know about the puffer fish soup... ]
She looks tired, and the bags under her eyes have deepened from getting very little sleep this past month. ]
Well, I'm pleased to see they have heard and followed my suggestion to improve the cafeteria menu! The recent state of affairs has been simply atrocious, we can't have growing children expected to receive their necessary sustenance from such negligent offerings.
More than this, it allows little excuse for one to not eat healthfully, so I must encourage you all to observe your proper nutritional schedule each day. Should you require assistance, or perhaps more direct motivation, [ ie. her pulling you by the ear to the cafeteria ] my services remain available.
I'm glad to see local operations improving following the dreadful events of the past weeks.
[ Of course, she...doesn't know about the puffer fish soup... ]

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Uh... bad stuff.
[He took a scratch behind his ear shamefully. That answer should suffice, right?]
Just all glad they up and got their decide on to leave you the fuck behind, this time.
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I fear circumstances may have been worse elsewhere.
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Ain't much good reason in thinkin' on 'bout which motherfucker all had it worser than the next motherfucker. If peeps got it bad, they all got it motherfuckin' bad.
[He's not going to frown again!!! But here's a slanty face.]
And, uh... guess I'm all having to say, like...
Sorry. 'N stuff.
Yeah.
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Have you eaten since your return?
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[Blegh. Tongue-tied. You know what? Maybe it was better to not mention it. That way, it's like it never happened! Good plan!]
Workin' on that shit what's right the fuck now, I all am!
[He held up the half-eaten pie.]
But, didn't you all get to sayin' there ain't no motherfucking food left up in here? Someone go to eat it all or some shit like that?
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Quite the opposite, in fact! That had been a problem previously, but the purpose of this message was to share with our fellow residents that the menu has greatly expanded in our favor.
We'll need to see that you consume something more legitimate than...your current "meal".
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Oh, fuck! Then, that all be motherfuckin' bitchin' in the foody-area of things! You be all to get that fuckin' tummy of yours to be a happy little dude? Get your fucking chow-down on of all them new eatable miracles?
[He blinked down at the slime innocently.]
Motherfuck... not the meal thing again...
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That is...certainly a manner in which one might consider phrasing it.
But if you must insist on consuming your sopor allowance, I must also remind you of the extreme lack of nutrition they pass on to you! Your growing body needs a great deal more, even if only as a supplement to the more distasteful additions to your diet.
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Don't think I can all get my glance on at one of them nutritional sticks they got here no motherfuckin' more. Got the wigglies in my guts just thinkin' on 'em...
Bleh.
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For that reaction, I cannot blame you. One more day with those and I would prefer starvation!
Luckily, with the cafeteria open once more, we are allowed a much greater variety than that.
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...Yeah?
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Urghhhhhhhhh...
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When have you last had anything to eat aside from the pies and that ghastly soda you keep?
OH MY GOD THE NOTIF FOR THIS DIED weeps gently
[PIES WERE FOOD AND THEY WERE GOOD STOP HATING ON THEM. HATER.]
Uh... the little machiney dudes got all at stuffin' our motherfuckin' traps with the gross shit when they first carted us motherfuckers off. Got some water, too, so I guess that fuckin' counts for somethin', too.
[But that was like a month ago, whoops. He hadn't had much of an appetite since they started operating on him. He'd eat a bit when the hunger became unbearable, but for the most part he'd stayed away from those damn bars.]
Kinda didn't have no motherfucking appetite for a while, yeah? Didn't all have the hungries gettin' their nag on in me like what's they usually all do when it's time for the sweet shit.
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For real, yo. You ain't motherfuckin' careful, you'll to be all worryin' that pretty green head off your fucking shoulders, you all will.
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Wouldn't be no fucking place of mine to all keep on havin' you be in all sorts of states of motherfucking unrest on somethin' that I be all motherfuckin' capable of gettin' my rectification on at!
What can a brother do to make another motherfucker like yourself all certain on the fact that he gonna be being up and gettin' some fuckin' sustenance at his belly, hmm?
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[ And maybe they could expand it from there as they went on, but she just wants a healthy foundation first. ]
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[Having a structured schedule about anything had never really worked out for him ever. He'd forget, or get lazy, or space out, or really any other thing that could possibly be not doing whatever it was that he was supposed to be doing would affect him, and the plans would fall to pieces in seconds. He made The Face again at this suggestion, with full knowledge of his atrocious time-management skills.]
[And he groaned.]
Shit like that be what's really gonna make you up and get your fuckin' relax on? Makin' sure some gangly-ass motherfucker gets his three hots?
Or, uh, one hot, I fuckin' guess. Or, uhh... maybe one cold. Don't even much know what they got down in that motherfuckin' place as of late. Either way...
[Gamzee please stop talking.]
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That is precisely what would better inspire me to relax. A knowledge that your health is being submitted to the nutrition it requires, and the best way to accomplish this would be to oversee it personally.
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[...]
[Can we not think about that???]
Okay!
...Okay, okay.
When you all be wantin' a brother to get his bones down there? Can't get no promises made that I'll be getting my remember on of it, though.
[He scratched his head sheepishly. Er, okay now his fingers were caught.]
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SUDDENLY ACTION
[Shameful action.]
[action which is pretty much bathed in shame]
[The shame knows no bounds in this action.]
[action]
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i have read that last line and erupted into peals of laughter at least five times now
glad to be of service
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