002 ♍ In Which Our Correspondent Discovers The Function Through Which To Visually Broadcast

[mamadonna]

[ The video clicks on to show Dolorosa fussing with the computer. Well, most of her. Only the bottom of her head is visible, as whoever used this terminal last is far shorter than she is. After a few moments of this, the camera shakes and refocuses to show her face, and after double-checking it against the display on the monitor, she smiles and places her hands in her lap.

She looks tired, and the bags under her eyes have deepened from getting very little sleep this past month. ]

Well, I'm pleased to see they have heard and followed my suggestion to improve the cafeteria menu! The recent state of affairs has been simply atrocious, we can't have growing children expected to receive their necessary sustenance from such negligent offerings.

More than this, it allows little excuse for one to not eat healthfully, so I must encourage you all to observe your proper nutritional schedule each day. Should you require assistance, or perhaps more direct motivation, [ ie. her pulling you by the ear to the cafeteria ] my services remain available.

I'm glad to see local operations improving following the dreadful events of the past weeks.

[ Of course, she...doesn't know about the puffer fish soup... ]

Comments

[moontothetide]

[It doesn't, not much. Tara herself isn't particularly short, but she has a tendency to hunch into making herself look a good six inches shorter than she is.] Y-Yeah. Um, really enlightening. I-I don't think I really could have made it through the last few weeks without it.

...so, um, I-I hope it helps you, too.

[mamadonna]

[ She frowns and holds the book against her chest, and the weariness settles back into her face. The last few weeks haven't been easy on anyone, from the sound of it. ]

I imagine it will. My apologies for being unaware of your own trials previously. The Tower's inactivity was a trying predicament to survive through.

[moontothetide]

Oh, um... [Tara looks decidedly startled, at this apology, and hastily shakes her head.] I-It's okay. I mean, um, w-we all kind of had it bad. I-I even didn't have it so bad, f-for a couple of weeks - I was in Dax's pod.

[Of course, after that had been a small private hell, but for very specific and personal reasons.] It was, um, hard on all of us. I-I hope you were okay.

[mamadonna]

I spent much of it routing the beasts that would attempt to terrorize the residential halls. Once the Hounds were loosed, there was little I could offer beyond a warning to those who would dare wander them, however.

I'm afraid I'm largely unaware of what occurred in the pods.

[moontothetide]

Well, um, so am I. I mean, I only heard about the other two, and I was only in Dax's f-for two weeks. Then... [A half shrug.] W-We lost. We, we had to vote people out, if we lost. [Tara, anticipating this, had talked to just enough people to ensure that it would be her.]

Y-You mean the things made out of fire? Yeah, I, I tried to fight those off. Couldn't do a lot. I mean, I mostly just...shot them w-with the shower head, and ran outside.

[mamadonna]

Those would be the very same I refer to. I attempted to impale one, but it seemed unfazed by the injury. Running is really the best response, I believe.

[ She knits her brows with a frown. ] They selected you for their banishment.

[moontothetide]

W-What? Oh! [Tara hastily shakes her head.] N-No, I...I-I, um, kind of selected myself. I-I just had to, to make sure enough people w-would vote for me. Otherwise...well, they'd decide randomly, a-and that...I-I thought that would be worse.

[mamadonna]

Ah. That's... [ Pretty much exactly what Dolorosa would do in that position. ] ...An admirable course of action. Not everyone is capable of putting herself at risk to ensure the safety of those around her.

[moontothetide]

Admirable...?

[Tara wonders if it is. Her reasons had been in part out of concern for the safety of her podmates - her teammates. She knows she wouldn't have been able to bear seeing some of them killed, even if Dax's method had turned out to be as painless as it looked.

And, yes, part of her desire to get out had been due to a fear of hurting them. But it had been partly motivated by a fear over her own mental state, her own capacity to contribute and survive. In the end, she hadn't been there to help.

Was that really still admirable?]

Th-Thank you. It, it meant asking a lot, f-from people, so...I-I'm glad you think so.

[mamadonna]

[ Of course, with her experiences, she has a very funny perspective on it. ]

It can be difficult, seeing those you care about perish when you can do nothing to prevent it. You will often wish you had adopted their position instead.

Perhaps it would be easier for them, they're knowing you were accomplishing that very thing for their sake.

[moontothetide]

...I was.

[She hadn't wanted to slow them down, or impede them, or, goddess forbid, hurt them. The people in Dax's pod had been her team, and a good few had been her friends.

Besides. They'd all wanted Dax to win. Even the people in the other pods had wanted Dax to win. And they'd tried so, so hard to make sure that happened.

And they'd still failed.] So, um, I hope it did. M-Make it easier. It's, um, kind of a lot to ask someone you only just met two weeks ago.

...but it's, it's over now. Everyone's back and...and Jason didn't win. That's, that's what was really important.

[mamadonna]

I have had the displeasure of conversing with him previously. If he were primary among the wardens, I should think our residence here would only grow more unpleasant, given the thoughts regarding our worth he expressed at that time.

[ Though the most she's seen of the effects from his pod so far is how Gamzee's mood has been effected in the aftermath. That much, at least, she finds especially disconcerting. ]

[moontothetide]

Vivisections. [Tara gives a little shudder of revulsion.] Um...take it from me. They're...really as bad as they sound. [And that hadn't even been Jason. Fuhito had actually been trying to go easy on her.]

With Riki, it's...it's our heads, that are in trouble. Our minds, and...reality in general, I guess. S-Still. Um, I guess that's not as bad. [Except the look on Tara's face is probably enough to see that she thinks that, yes, it is just as bad, and possibly worse.]

Unless we, y'know, die from the food.

[mamadonna]

[ Her face falls further. The starvation worry had been strong for her the past few weeks, but she's fairly certain now that those in the pods must have had it worse.

And she has a history with psychic and psychological abuse, as well. ] Hypothetically, it may be gentler. But it can leave one with a very slim grasp on her identity, under a prolonged exposure.

Dax's focus, what was it?

[moontothetide]

[Tara's experience with such things has been mercifully brief - a few days with her sanity torn out of her skull, a girlfriend that showed an unfortunate prevalence towards erasing her memory.

Even so, it's not something she's eager to repeat. Ever.]

Dax was...I-I don't know. Normal, I guess? I mean, um, there wasn't anything really strange or, or bad about it. The first week, um, it was almost like we were back in the tower, how it usually is.

Even the week after, when they were testing..."ph-physical and m-mental endurance", we weren't hurt. He just, um, kind of let us compete on our own time. The food was, was pretty weird, but they wouldn't give it to us if it would have poisoned us, and we could stop exercising whenever we wanted to.

[The other two pods hadn't had that luxury. It had reached the point where being a member of Dax's pod had been a source of guilt.]

[mamadonna]

[ Dolorosa's was more prolonged, but also done at the whim of a would-be girlfriend who didn't care for the possibility she might resist after stealing her from a previously vicious owner. She did not have any happy years in slavery. ]

So the worst you were subjected to was some exercise? I suppose we'll be lucky if he has become the more active warden.

[moontothetide]

Yeah. I mean, I-I don't know if it got any worse, after I left, but...when I was there, exercise was the worst. And he didn't even make us do it, like Riki and Jason did, we were just told to do as much as we could.

...but everyone worked r-really hard. We, we knew we had to win, and so we worked as hard as we could. Just because we wanted to.

[mamadonna]

Because it was more desirable than the alternative, or at least presented itself as such. Who was it that ultimately emerged victorious?

[moontothetide]

Um, Riki. Not as good as Dax, but...n-not as bad as Jason. He, he didn't even have any points, when I left, but...apparently, th-there was this one last contest, that was worth a lot of points, and s-somehow he won them all.

...th-they told us it would be forever. But...I've heard it's not. Th-Thank goodness for that.

[mamadonna]

We are no strangers to conflicting intelligence at this point. It has characterized the entirety of my stay thus far.

I suppose it's only a matter of time before we will witness what consequences Riki will bring beyond the surprises among our menu.