001 ♠ Voice

[urnotafraid]

So... Let me get this straight. [ Someone sounds grumpy and tired and there's a definite hint of an accent. ] We've been rescued by a group of kind-hearted assholes from Gamma-Beta-Three-A that felt we've just gotta wear collars to match our winning personalities, right? Or am I missing something from the care package left behind in the room?

[ There's a pause filled in with the familiar sound of someone lighting up a cigarette. ]

And I thought this sort of thing only happened in bad movies...

Hey! Anyone around?

Comments

text;

[urnotafraid]

Is this where I gotta put on that skin-tight suit and go cry in a corner begging for mercy? Cuz I didn't see that one in my contract.

text;

[restitchtime]

Only if you're really fucking intent on being a splatter extra. Personally I don't think it's worth the effort, but that might just be because I'm an unpleasant bitch who doesn't do much crying to begin with.

text;

[urnotafraid]

That'll be a waste of talent. 'Sides, I don't look that good in white.

text;

[restitchtime]

No? Labor Days must be hell for you.

text;

[urnotafraid]

What's Labor Day? [ Hi I'm Japanese and raised in China. ]

text;

[restitchtime]

[trolling opportunity: UNMISSABLE]

Everybody dresses in white to praise the sun god and then goes out to work on the great and mighty dictator's elaborate tomb. It's a pretty shitty holiday all around.

text;

[urnotafraid]

At least it doesn't sound as bad as Valentine's Day.

text;

[restitchtime]

That's a league of its own. Comparing any holiday to that one is like trying to find a worse dictator than Hitler - you're never going to do it and will just end up looking like an asshole.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Eh, I wouldn't even try. Too many assholes to choose from really.

text;

[restitchtime]

Fuck, you don't even need a holiday to have to wade through packs of assholes. This is just an excuse to dress them up in festive gear and try a little harder to ignore them.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Pretty much. Anyways, I'm Sho.

text;

[restitchtime]

Rose. I'd say it's a pleasure but considering the circumstances that'd be a load of bull.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Yeah, well, it could always be worse.

text;

[restitchtime]

It usually is, to the surprise of no one. We're pretty good at yoyoing between 'this fucking sucks' to 'this is fucking impossible' at the drop of a hat.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Sounds like the kind of place that would fit fine back home.

text;

[restitchtime]

Yeah? You must've had a real winner of a universe, then. Hopefully a little lighter on the public torture porn, but I know better than to assume anything good about anything.

text;

[urnotafraid]

That's what you get when you lift the trading bans, invite everyone into your borders and don't actually have a working police force.

text;

[restitchtime]

What are you talking about, that's a great fucking idea. I've never heard a better damn plan to raise crime rates in my life.

text;

[urnotafraid]

It also helped the sales of guns and bullets.

text;

[restitchtime]

And I'm sure that was really a struggling industry.

text;

[urnotafraid]

If you heard the CEOs talk, they thought it was the end of the world.

text;

[restitchtime]

Well, shit. We can't have that, can we? Good thing that got fixed before everything really went to hell.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Good riddance to them anyways.

text;

[restitchtime]

I'm sure they're still around in some dark slimy corner somewhere. The odds of our worlds actually being destroyed are pretty fucking slim.

text;

[urnotafraid]

Yeah, I don't believe it too.