4th Time in Text

[knightime]

what do you while waiting for the sleep paralysis to wear off?
i mean it was kind of terrifying the first time
and maybe even the second time
but at this point its like the hugest fucking waste of time to be stuck lying on your bed waiting to get feeling to your fingers again
but now im curious
what is the longest you got stuck lying in bed for
like an approximate if you werent sure of the exact time

Comments

[restitchtime]

I haven't run into one yet that hasn't been at least half bullshittery, so I'm starting to think the answer to that is no.

Damn right. Loyalty's not cheap and it damn well better be ready whenever I need it.

[knightime]

fucked with our pants down
as always

well now my entire month is ruined
but its all for you my majesty

[restitchtime]

It's less of a surprise and more of a mild inconvenience at this point, shit.

Should have thought about that before signing on for the knighthood. Nothing left to do about it now but suck it up and get on with things.

[knightime]

i didnt even sign up
it was basically a shitty lottery system and someone decided to throw my name in it
of course i would get chosen

[restitchtime]

Hey, at least you got a halfway decent job out of the fiasco. You could have been drafted into eternal shit shoveler or something instead.

[knightime]

im allowed to be angry
they falsely advertised this shit as some glorified happy ending fairytale
they could at least have hyped down the disney aspect of it all

[restitchtime]

But think of all the sales they'd have lost if they did. Your whiny ass just isn't worth letting that go.

[knightime]

my whiny ass is going to put them out of business
im a very disgruntled customer right now

[restitchtime]

File a ticket and get to the back of the damn line. Nobody gives a shit about how far up your ass your panties are bunched.

[knightime]

excuse you
everyone cares about my hello kitty panties
thank you very much
youre just jealous that you dont have a pair

[restitchtime]

The only thing I feel about your fucking underwear is a little sad that you couldn't even manage to buy your own and had to jack them from what I can only assume was your Jade's intimates drawer.

[knightime]

i dont think jade even knows what hello kitty is
if i was stealing from jades drawer it would be squiddles bitch
hello kitty is the fucking shit

[restitchtime]

Like I'm suposed to know what fictional cutesy bullshit she creams herself over? Nice to know you're a cat person though, I'm sure that'll come in handy later.

[knightime]

does your jade or harley not follow that shit?
i mean its probably for the best tbh because i feel like they were on crack when they made that shit but whatever
more partial to birds

[restitchtime]

No, she's too busy sighing dreamily over hideous 80s cop shows. Honestly I don't think it was much of an improvement, but I tuned most of her bullshit out anyway so what do I know?

Birds, really? You must have fucking loved it at home if it was anything like my world, then. The roof was always filled with god damn crows.

[knightime]

80s cop shows
seriously
of all the things i could have guessed
that was not one of them

yea
they were pretty chill
they kind of got in the way though

ah yes i can still reply in the comms excellent

[restitchtime]

Seriously. If I had a dime for every time she creamed her panties over MacGyver to me I'd be able to buy my own fucking island.

I wouldn't know. I kind of made a point of staying the fuck away from there as much as I possibly could.

sexcellent

[knightime]

what is with our friends into actors with terrible names thats impossible to remember

they dont really do anything
they just sat around honestly

hell yeah

[restitchtime]

It's probably just another obscure karmic backhand for us to deal with considering they just won't shut up about them.

That's not really that healthy for birds. The fuck did you assholes do, glue them to the telephone wire?

[knightime]

and they expect us to remember everything about them
a pop quiz im not interested in scoring very high
so what if nic cage had his sweaty face up close and personal with the camera in so and so movie

nothing
i mean they did shit but mostly
they just chilled
and got in my crap tbh

[restitchtime]

Or how many times MacGuyver used a fucking package of saran wrap to make a nuclear bomb or what the fuck ever. You'd think being told to shove it up their ass the first twenty times would be enough of a damn hint.

That's really weird. The sitting around, no the getting into your shit; it seems like everything and their grandmother's fucking interesting in pawing through Strider belongings.

[knightime]

theyre either too stupid or wont take no for an answer
or a mix of both
not that it makes the situation any better for either of us

thats because we have a shitton of swag and they want a piece of it
idk they just chilled
chill bird bros and the what have you
they were especially fond of chilling on the wire i kept hung in my room

[restitchtime]

Yeah, in the end we're fucked no matter what the answer is. How familiar.

Huh. Maybe they could just sense that I really fucking hated them or something; wouldn't surprise me if they were assholes just to spite me. Not like I gave them any fucking invitations like hanging goddamn wires up in my room.

[knightime]

they sometimes knocked my photos down but idk
i had better things than to wonder why some birds were chilling with me
i guess maybe i could have avoided jade prototyping my kernelsprite with the bird carcass though
that would have been nice

[restitchtime]

I don't know, is that really something big enough to regret? It worked itself out in the end.