.002 ♐ cerberusTestament changed his status to facepalming into infinity [Text/Action]

[disgracedvoid]

}↠ It has come to my attention the presence of certain, shall we call them unexpected elements
}↠ Native from my world
}↠ That one would have thought impossible to be found in here
}↠ Is this to be a common occurrance at all

[No, he doesn't mean the Grand Highblood. Someone had a run in with an imperial drone and died, because he's too stupid to run. So he's caught between having died a horrific death, and being just bemused in general. He's in the library if you want to pester him in person, quietly growling at the terminals because the one time he decides to use the network, it's being uncooperative.]

Comments

[doctor_dismemberment]

Yes, well, I've said time and time again that I would do a much better job at managing the Tower than our gracious hosts, but to no avail.

Oh mein Gott. I remember talking to someone about this before. Let me guess - you're all trolls? The last one I spoke too was so angry that I never did get an answer as to why he typed like he did, as far as I remember.

[disgracedvoid]

}↠ Considering the current situation, I do believe even moss would do a better job of it
}↠ Moss knows how to stay warm, at the very least

}↠ I am, though I have been lead to believe that most of the trolls currently in the tower
}↠ Are either children or lowbloods
}↠ So rationality might be something of a chore to coerce out of them

[doctor_dismemberment]

...Moss?

Yes, the last one I spoke to certainly seemed like a child. Looked like one, too... He used far more strange terminology than you did, so I'll thank you for being slightly more coherent. "Lowblood" stands out, though.

[That's his way of attempting to prod for more information.]

[disgracedvoid]

}↠ Never mind

}↠ Ah yes
}↠ The lower blood castes have always had a habit to betray themselves
}↠ With their uncultured nomenclature

[doctor_dismemberment]

...If you insist.

This has something to do with your strange blood colors, doesn't it? You know, try as I may, I have never gotten details about any of that! I find it dreadfully unfair.

this conversation is going to go dreadful places isn't it

[disgracedvoid]

}↠ Indeed
}↠ What sort of details are you interested in

every conversation with Richtofen is dreadful on some level, fact

[doctor_dismemberment]

Oh, you know, basic things. Why do you all have different blood colors, why does it matter so much, what is your blood like on a molecular level... Et cetera.

[disgracedvoid]

}↠ While it is not my area of expertise, so I may not answer your first and last inquiries
}↠ I do believe I can provide some insight on the second one
}↠ There are several biological factors tied in directly with each of the different castes that make up the hemospectrum
}↠ Through millennia of history and social development, cultural structures have been built around them
}↠ For the benefit of the Empress, the Empire and all it stands for
}↠ Lowbloods are often psychically gifted, but live brief, often worthless lives
}↠ Whereas highbloods have greater fortitude, mentally and physically, for we are made to live far longer lives

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Finally, some real answers! Even though they're being given in the form of infuriating blue words with a strange suffix and no punctuation, Richtofen's very nearly giddy.]

I see... That's all very fascinating. How many blood colors are there? Which ones count as "high," and which ones are "low?"

[disgracedvoid]

[Hey, as far as quirks go, his is of the tamest! Plus at least his blue is dark and solemn. Besides, given the abuse of punctuation by other trolls, someone has to compensate by using none. It's all part of the balance.]

}↠ It is, indeed
}↠ There are twelve colors, in total, with the Empress' exalted fuchsia at the very top
}↠ Followed by violets, purples and blues of highbloods
}↠ Then teals, jades and greens of midbloods
}↠ And finally yellows, browns and reds of lowbloods

[doctor_dismemberment]

[It's certainly easier on the eyes than Bluekat's angry capslock cerulean, that's for sure.]

Ah, just like the colors of the rainbow! How wunderbar!

Does this make you a blue blood, then, or do you type in whichever color you wish?

[disgracedvoid]

[If Richtofen last conversation was with blue!Kat that explains many, many things, lmfao.]

}↠ The highest of the two blue hues, indeed
}↠ And no, a troll may not usurp a color not their own
}↠ If one desires anonymity, for whichever the reason, the only acceptable choice is grey

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Conversed with Bluekat, killed by Gamzee... He does not have a very good track record with trolls.]

Then I am speaking to a nobleman! My, my.

[Wait... Wait a minute. So if he's got blue blood, and he's a nobleman...

Oh mein gott x2 combob. This guy is literally a blueblood, in all senses of the word. Richtofen is so finished.

Except not, because he's totally gonna pry some more in light of this interesting realization.]

What happens if someone were to use a different color, then? Would they be punished?

[disgracedvoid]

[lmao, maybe he'll finally walk out of a conversation with something akin to positive CR then? Also, shhhh, he's a fallen nobleman, a blueblood in disgrace. It's very tragic and dumb. Which is why he casually doesn't acknowledge that revelation.]

}↠ They would be culled, of course

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Here's hoping! And if Richtofen takes note of that little detail at all, he certainly doesn't acknowledge it. He wouldn't want to ruin this little bit of positivity by prodding in all the wrong places, after all.]

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term.

[Does it involve killing? Ooh, he hopes it does! He probably shouldn't type that, though.

It is so much easier to avoid unpleasant outbursts through text. He should communicate like this more often.]

[disgracedvoid]

[Oh my god, someone who understand subtle social cues in dialogue and doesn't poke a stick at obviously unwanted places? Darkleer likes you already. He'll like you better if you can sneak that information out of him through underhanded, rhetorical means.]

}↠ Killed, essentially
}↠ Perhaps it is hard to see, if your interaction is limited to those too young to have been drafted yet
}↠ But much of the Empire revolves around its army

[You know how military discipline is: either fit in, or get out. Except in this case you get out as a corpse.]

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Don't let him fool you, Darkleer (or do, it's all the same to Richtofen). He's actually terrible at that whole "social interaction" thing. It's just easier to pretend like you're sane when you don't have to worry about hiding your crazy outbursts from people in person.

Speaking of which, he lets out a pleased, squealing sort of giggle at the terminal when he reads the word "killed." Through text, though, he's composed as ever.]

An army, hmm? You know, I was a military man myself back in my homeworld! What was your army like?

[disgracedvoid]

[...why do you think the race of psychotic, violent, world-conquering aliens communicate chiefly through a text-based interface?]

}↠ Efficient, above all else

[doctor_dismemberment]

[...Brilliant! Richtofen just might hate trolls a little less upon figuring that out.

He'll just get ten times more suspicious of them, is all.]

Of course.

This is the type of army that does not tolerate the slightest deviations, ja? I mean, if you are executing people for using the wrong text colors...

[disgracedvoid]

[See it's all fun and games until one of them loses their shit and goes on a murderous rampage.]

}↠ Oh you could hardly call that an e%ecution

[He doesn't even notice the slip of finger there, but man, the fond memories!]

}↠ Most cullings are just every day disciplinary actions
}↠ There is so much more to an e%ecution than simply culling the criminal in question

[Ex-executor nostalgia here. Oh wow, it's been a couple hundred years since he last felt this nostalgic.]

[doctor_dismemberment]

[He has dealt with one too many murderous, rampaging trolls in this Tower, thank you very much.

Richtofen squints at the screen. Is he... Is he using a percentage symbol in place of an X? Oh hell, he'll let it go this time. But only because there's talk of killings on the horizon.]

Oh? Would you care to elaborate on that?

[He should probably lie about explain why he's so interested.]

I try to do all I can to learn about all aspects of civilizations I'm unfamiliar with. Cultural sensitivity, you know how it goes, I'm sure.

[disgracedvoid]

[It's part of the experience.

Also hush, at least he doesn't do the number thing anymore.]

}↠ Certainly, that is a noble pursuit
}↠ Culling is simply the common disciplinary action
}↠ It is the right of the troll of higher standing to inflict it upon the criminal once the transgression is discovered
}↠ No one ever makes note of these except perhaps for the sake of recordkeeping
}↠ But e%ecutions are a matter of public viewing, most of them dealing with traitors
}↠ Should an e%ecutor be lucky or skilled enough, the Empress herself might be in attendance of such a spectacle

[doctor_dismemberment]

[It's a good thing Richtofen hasn't run into any of the really unusual quirks yet, or else he might just flip shit.]

Yes, a noble pursuit indeed.

[Oh, yup, he totally didn't overlook that "avoiding the subject when nobility is brought up" thing.]

My, in front of your Empress? I'm sure those executions were a sight to behold.

[disgracedvoid]

[One day we'll get a Terezi. And then I'll pull out the popcorn gifs.]

}↠ One could only hope so, yes

[doctor_dismemberment]

[And Richtofen will pull out his shOTGUN- I mean what.]

That sounds a bit ominous. Is she hard to please?

[He's trying to prod at this as gently as he can, like brain surgery. Of course, Richtofen tended to perform brain surgery with semi-automatic weapons, so we'll see how well this goes.]