gAmZeE MaKaRa ♑ terminallyCapricious (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hystericull) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
animus_network2013-01-15 11:01 am
hystericull) wrote in animus_network2013-01-15 11:01 am
011 ♑ [eleventh honk/video]
Content Warning: Thread with Tavros got smutty I really can't believe I'm putting this right in the OP but the general public has a right to be warned.
[The feed clicks on, revealing an extremely wide, extremely frantic purple eye.]
[After a few seconds, the features surrounding said eye come into view, as the operator of the video backs up. And backs up a little more.]
[It's a gargantuan troll. Everything about him looks like it's been blown well out of reasonable proportion. His shoulders took up the width of the screen, and the way he hunched over couldn't have been anything but uncomfortable. His face was painted up like a monotone clown - all dark smudges against stark white. The design hadn't changed much in the sweeps he'd spent here. What was your face was your face, no matter how you felt about it. The paint was what he was born with, the design was a part of him - one thing in life that couldn't be done on a whim.]
[Most of that face, however, was obscured by the most absurd mane of hair imaginable. It exploded from his head in a mass of mats and twists and curls, getting in his eyes and mouth before running down his neck and past his shoulders. It was reminiscent of vines taking over a building - crawling up and threatening to engulf the two massive, spiraling horns that sprouted from his head.]
[For being as giant as he was, Gamzee had been lacking in the brute strength department - a solitary physical trait he failed to inherit from his ancestor. His limbs and neck were thick, but not as thick as they could or should be. His hands rivaled the size of dinner plates, but the fingers on them remained knuckles and spindle.]
[Now that both manic eyes were visible, as well as a decent amount of the rest of him, Gamzee's dark lips parted to speak, revealing terribly sharp and terribly disgusting fangs. Plucking a vial of dark purple liquid from his pants pocket, he held it up to the camera.]
All you magnanimous motherfuckers, please to be all popping the most righteous of motherfuckin' squats at the terminal and start bestowing on to your wicked brother all what's knowledge holy you up and got in those inferior thinkpans 'bout the matter what all is at being your mother fucking blood.
[The feed clicks on, revealing an extremely wide, extremely frantic purple eye.]
[After a few seconds, the features surrounding said eye come into view, as the operator of the video backs up. And backs up a little more.]
[It's a gargantuan troll. Everything about him looks like it's been blown well out of reasonable proportion. His shoulders took up the width of the screen, and the way he hunched over couldn't have been anything but uncomfortable. His face was painted up like a monotone clown - all dark smudges against stark white. The design hadn't changed much in the sweeps he'd spent here. What was your face was your face, no matter how you felt about it. The paint was what he was born with, the design was a part of him - one thing in life that couldn't be done on a whim.]
[Most of that face, however, was obscured by the most absurd mane of hair imaginable. It exploded from his head in a mass of mats and twists and curls, getting in his eyes and mouth before running down his neck and past his shoulders. It was reminiscent of vines taking over a building - crawling up and threatening to engulf the two massive, spiraling horns that sprouted from his head.]
[For being as giant as he was, Gamzee had been lacking in the brute strength department - a solitary physical trait he failed to inherit from his ancestor. His limbs and neck were thick, but not as thick as they could or should be. His hands rivaled the size of dinner plates, but the fingers on them remained knuckles and spindle.]
[Now that both manic eyes were visible, as well as a decent amount of the rest of him, Gamzee's dark lips parted to speak, revealing terribly sharp and terribly disgusting fangs. Plucking a vial of dark purple liquid from his pants pocket, he held it up to the camera.]
All you magnanimous motherfuckers, please to be all popping the most righteous of motherfuckin' squats at the terminal and start bestowing on to your wicked brother all what's knowledge holy you up and got in those inferior thinkpans 'bout the matter what all is at being your mother fucking blood.
no subject
[Did he want to lose Tavros? Fuck no! This whole thing wasn't even anything he'd given extensive thought to! If he wanted to fuck around, he'd make a better effort of it than that! ...Wait, that wasn't the right train of thought. Oh, fuck it. Who the fuck was he trying to kid by playing goody-two-shoes?]
[So, he took it. All of the words and the venom because he fucking deserved it. In some part of him, it cut deep. Some part of him was being destroyed, having to listen to this. After all of this time, though? Having lost most of himself to his own mind, to this fucking Tower? Whatever. All he had to do was figure out how to fix this. That's... that's all.]
[That's all.]
...Tavros.
[He put his hands up, as if it would shield him from anything else.]
Don't fuckin' do this like you is. We gotta hash this shit out. Come on, babe.
[It came out a lot calmer than he expected it would.]
no subject
Gam, no. Just ... stop using that word. It's pissing me off right now.
[ Haha, everything is pissing him off right now! Even Gamzee's cool. Like, what the fuck, bro? When he actually wants you to go crazy and get all the fists flying between them, you decide to switch on the chill mode. Wait- that's a good thing! Why is he annoyed by it? Damnit, nothing makes any sense anymore.
Oh god, fuck his life, he really didn't want to talk to Gamzee right now.
In every single discussion, he had to take the lead, ask the questions, fight the highblood a little into speaking out. It was a long, tiring process and he had zero energy to persuade it. Okay, Tavros is just making up shitty excuses now. Grow up and deal with this situation already.
Finally, he turned to face Gamzee again. Regardless of the glare, he managed to speak without screaming his words. For now. ]
Don't fucking lie to me this time.
no subject
Tav.
[No pet names. They were only making him angrier. No contact, either, but that didn't mean Gamzee couldn't still wear an affectionate expression. Worried would be more the word. He looked worried, like a kicked barkbeast.]
I am only spinning truths at you, brother. Served the rainbowdrinker some of what I motherfuckin' got. Them fuckers be out their minds when they ain't got a bite in perigrees.
[He spoke quietly, calmly, not delivering too much at once.]
It all meant no more than helping a motherfuckin' bro out. If you ain't chill with that shit, then no more of it. Simple as all fuckin' that.
[He glanced up at him, voice getting quiet.]
You really think someone else really got my fuckin' heart, brother? You know it always been you.
Always. It ain't going nowhere else but you, Tav.
no subject
He makes a face, but he honestly didn't look surprised when Eridan came up. So, he allowed him to drink his blood, and it escalated from there. The hickeys proves it, and since Gamzee decided to pretend that they didn't exist- he knew his assumptions are probably accurate.
Tavros closed his eyes and he ran his fingers through his hair. He said nothing.
It hurts. It hurts more than he ever thought it would, but Tavros will never forgive himself if he fell apart in front of Gamzee. He had no other choice but to repress his emotions, suck it up and keep it together. He couldn't even explain what he is feeling right now, but one thing for sure- it was very warm and difficult to breathe. He refused to give in, though. He refused to feel this amount of grief for someone that went behind his back and-
Gamzee went behind his back and he ... He went to Eridan and they ...
Tavros cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. ]
... Why.
no subject
[Gamzee chewed his lip. The urge to reach out and touch Tavros was almost unbearable, and he had to stop himself every time his hands twitched to move forward.]
I... told you fuckin' why.
[His eyes searched Tavros' face for any indication of the boy's thoughts. He knew that he must have been thinking a thousand things at once. He'd known Tavros enough to understand that he chose his words carefully - something Gamzee was not so great at, sometimes.]
Say at me what be on your fuckin' mind. Like you all was after you motherfuckin' socked me one. Not just what you all be thinking the best thing to say.
[He scowled, stepping forward a little bit.]
no subject
He felt angry, upset and betrayed and and .... the list goes on. The point is, he knew he was in no position to make any choices right now. He wanted to clear his mind, where he can actually sit down with himself and figure out what he needs to do about this. He tried punching Gamzee, that didn't work. Yelling didn't help either.
He knew talking might clear some issue, but he couldn't do it either. It was too painful. ]
I don't ... believe you.
[ He really really didn't want to say this, but it's how he felt right now. I guess after spending so many sweeps left in the shadows, it reached the point where it was truly challenging to know whether his matesprit is being honest or not. ]
You say you were helping a brother out, and you let him ... drink some of your blood. I get it, he's your bro. I don't have a problem with you doing that! Doing that only. But, the fact you were hiding it from me ...
... Do you honestly think that will make me believe that's the whole story? Trust me, I hope I'm wrong about this, It's just ...
I just don't know what to believe anymore. You always do shit behind my back, and I always wonder if I ... have done anything that made you feel I'm not worth the trust? And then it just comes to the painful reality that you will never fully accept who I am.
Because of my blood.
[ He shrugged. ]
I know you never said it, but I'm not stupid, bro. I know it bothers you. It bothers you a lot. And ... I don't know.
no subject
[He toyed his now-swollen lip with his tongue.]
And feel it, too.
Tav...
[He took one more step forward, reaching out enough to touch the tips of his fingers to the back of one of Tavros' forearms, but not enough to drag them down and hold his hand. He was risking another pop to the mouth, but more importantly, he was risking scaring him off. After obtaining consent to move to a more private location (definitely not the scenario he'd had in mind when he'd first requested one), he slid his touch to the boy's back, following him up the stairs.]
Shit, you had some fuckin' harsh noise all bangin' in your pan for a while, I guess.
[Shame Gamzee never paid attention enough to notice. He continued to speak as they climbed.]
I ain't never thought... what you'd be all thinking on the blood shit like fuckin' that way. I...
[The fuck was he going to do? Deny it? It was actually partially true. His quadrants undoubtedly overrode his incredibly biased view of the hemospectrum, but that didn't erase the fact that he was a bigoted prick somewhere inside.]
[They'd reached a quieter place, all right. Tavros' room. After following his matesprit(?) into the space, Gamzee closed the door behind them. He turned to face the other boy, hands behind his back, still gripping the doorknob because he had no fucking clue what else to do with them.]
If you up and get yourself in motherfucking believin' on anything what I all was ever having said... have it be the thing what I was just yapping my flap at, and the thing that I guess I'll all be motherfuckin' saying again. 'Cause its trueness gotta be fuckin' preached in multiples.
[If they were going to talk about this, it was probably... probably going to end badly. Gamzee ran that scenario through his head, and if it ended up with Tavros refusing to listen to a word he said, then he'd better get what he wanted to be heard most off of his chest while he still could.]
Never have I ever been having no feelings of such redness directed at no one but motherfucking you. Since I been a little motherfucker I, uh?
Didn't think I was really ever gonna feel that way for no one in my life, to be motherfuckin' honest.
[He let out a breath, eyes slowly falling to Tavros' feet.]
'Til I fuckin' was up and gettin' my illest of realizes on at the fact what I all had so much motherfucking love for you that I hurt in my pump biscuit on it. Ain't never felt it before and won't never be feelin' on it never again for no other motherfucker, of that I be mother fucking certain.
[What else to say? He had so much... more... to say, so many plans and calculations and carefully worded excuses and... fucking hell, he honestly wanted to forget them all right now.]
Uh.
There's more but that be the biggest thing, mainly. You can fuckin' yell at me more, now.
no subject
[ No yelling. His tone is surprisingly soft and understanding.
Regardless of everything, he knew the highblood wouldn't lie about this. He believed him when he said those words, and it brought some ease into the argument. But, that's not really solving anything. In fact, he is completely dodging the real issue here, which is Gamzee's typical approach in confrontations.
There is an awkward distance between them, but Tavros is now standing on the floor with his arms folded against his chest. His wings kept fluttering slowly as he tried to collect his words again. ]
I love you too. But, that's not the point here.
Don't ... avoid this. Don't fuck this up.
I need you not to fuck it up because I honestly don't know what to do right now! I don't know how I feel about this. I don't know if I can let it go and it scares me, okay?!
I don't want to feel this terrified, but I guess after spending all those sweeps with someone, you kinda get attached to them. That's how things go, right? You get all pathetic and stupid, and then you start to overlook things and give idiotic promises to yourself that everything will be better if you keep your mouth shut, and ... convince yourself that if you show enough support, stick around longer, maybe they will start feeling you more.
[ He paused for a bit, eyes on the ground. ]
So .. I will ask you, for the last time, Makara. I will trust and believe you this time because I know if you actually give a fuck about us, you'd be completely honest with me now.
... What really happened with Eridan?
[ One final time. ]
no subject
[Time to think hard and not show that you're thinking hard. Instead, time to pull another worried expression out of your ass like you're really concerned about the moment and use the time that that buys you to formulate a game plan.]
[He didn't want to tell the truth. Admitting that was admitting that he fucked up. Gamzee fucked up on a daily basis, but it was an entirely different thing when someone actually called you out on it. He was able to hide a bunch of shit from Tavros that would probably land him in the doghouse, but the one time he gets frisky with someone else, he's fucking found out.]
[He should have covered his tracks better. What a fucking rookie mistake.]
[Habit told him to lie. Come up with a story, or stick to his original fabrication and insist on its truth. But... logic was telling him differently. The logical step would be to actually come clean. If he changed his story, it would be so fucking obvious that nothing he said could be taken seriously. If he insisted on the original lie... well, that shit obviously wasn't going over well with Tavros to begin with. Telling the truth would admit he'd lied in the beginning, but the fact that Tavros was asking him so calmly suggested that there was a slight chance he could worm his way out of this clusterfuck.]
I do... give a fuck about us, bro. I give a lot of motherfuckin' fucks. More fucks than all what I know how to up and motherfucking count, is all how many fucks there is.
[He took a breath, clicking his claws against the doorknob behind him nervously. Out with it. It'll make you look like a wholesome, honest troll. A trustworthy one. ...Even if the thing you're being honest about is how you were previously dishonest. Details.]
It was, like, like I was motherfuckin' saying at earlier, and shit. Wasn't fuckin' frontin' on that noise, yo. Asked for a bite, so a brother went to all be motherfuckin' obliging on it.
[Gamzee paused, shifting on his feet. He hadn't looked away from Tavros since he started confessing. Now he let go of the doorknob to walk a little farther into the room and shove those hands in his pockets.]
We fuck around, sometimes-- n-not in that way, fuck. [Oh, glorious word choice, there, Champ.] I mean, like, we fuck with each other, give each other all sorts of fuckin' crap, make the other motherfucker feel like shit. Shit like what that is.
[For fuck's sake, he never thought he'd be explaining his fucked up relationship with an Ampora from an entirely different universe to his matesprit. To anyone, really. He wasn't doing a good job of it, either.]
A-anyway, fuck. The fuck was I saying?
...He bit me, all had hisself some lunch. Fuckin'... dinner, what the fuck ever it motherfuckin' was.
[Jesus, stop rambling. You're only delaying the inevitable. Gamzee stopped again, closing his eyes and swallowing to regain his composure before continuing. This time, it was much more succinct.]
I liked it. He knew I fuckin' liked it, the motherfucker. Used it to fuckin' get me going. Ain't sayin' I didn't do no egging on my fuckin' self, though... It just... it ain't... it ain't nothing. Don't mean... nothing at fuckin' all.
We was just fuckin' around and it got out of hand somethin' wicked motherfucking fierce. All what happened be on this nugbone mine, though, plain as the motherfuckin' daylights.
[And, much to his own discomfort, Gamzee pulled his hair back with his hands, showing the two large bite marks, and the few hickeys that trailed themselves spottily down his neck.]
Don't want you to think nothing more up and went down, 'cause it fuckin' didn't. We got done and... that's fuckin' it.
[He looked back to Tavros. It was almost painful to do so. He... he didn't know what else to say. So, he just let his shoulders drop, one hand still trying to contain the mess of hair.]
no subject
He didn't know what to do with himself. He was feeling a lot of emotions in the same time and it was killing his focus. Still, Tavros is smart enough to acknowledge that he is not allowed to make any choices right now. Despite all the temptation to scream it out, he refrained from doing so.
He is emotional right now. Cool it down. Take a breather and think.
He looks at Gamzee again and he shrugged. He looked so horribly feverish at this point. ]
... Of course it meant nothing to you. That's why you felt the need to hide it from me and then lie about it, right?
[ He turned to his side, taking a few steps forward with his hand pressed against his abdomen. ]
He had his lips all over you, and you ... enjoyed it. You liked it. You didn't see anything wrong with it. You didn't feel guilty. At that moment, you cared about no one but your fucking self.
The only reason you're saying all of this and apologizing because you've been caught. That's the only thing you're sorry for.
... You don't care about anyone but yourself.
[ Honestly, in this point he was merely speaking out what he had in mind. The tone and the expression in his face, though- as if he just came to the realization of how fucked up Gamzee is. Tavros looked like he was on the edge of losing it, and he forced himself to settled on the bed.
With his hands on his knees, the lowblood took in a breath and cleared his throat. ]
I think ... you should leave now. Y-Yes. You need to leave. Right now.
I want to be alone.
[ Also, it would be nice if you hurry up? Yeah. You are not allowed to see him like this. ]
no subject
[Instead of protesting everything Tavros had thrown at him, he just stood in silence. At some parts, he even nodded, glowering at the floor. He knew he was fucked up. He knew he was thick and stupid and selfish and disgusting. He had tried to convince himself that he would keep Tavros safe from all of that - because the feeling of pity for him was something so unusual, he thought maybe he could separate that from all of the other bullshit inside of him. Evidently not.]
[Only when Tavros sat down on the bed did Gamzee lift his head, though only slightly. Just enough to look at him. He felt like someone had wedged an obnoxiously large piece of food in his wind chute. Tavros had told him to leave.]
[But...]
[Gamzee thought about how long they'd been together. How long they'd been stuck in this piece of shit tower, how much they'd changed. He knew he wasn't the same person he was when they first had gotten together. He knew he wasn't the person that Tavros had fallen in love with. To be truthful, some part of him wanted desperately to try and find him again, but... but, but, but. Always an excuse. He couldn't remember who exactly he was, because that part of him had been lost - drowned out by the screaming in his head and the insatiable urges to rip and tear and subjugate every fucking person and thing until they were below him. Until he had control over everything. So much control will quickly put you out of control, he'd found out, a little too late.]
[The interesting thing was, as much as he felt very little in terms of emotions right now, he still felt... something. It hurt in his gut. It brought out some wicked self-loathing that he thought he'd stamped out a long time ago. Couldn't be the best if you hated yourself.]
[He took a breath.]
[If he was going to have any hope of fixing this, if there even was any hope left for them, he was going to have to do something he was pretty sure was impossible.]
[He was going to have to find himself again.]
[No bullshit, no lies, no... ugh, for fuck's sake. He couldn't. That sopor-addled shitstain was something he never wanted to be again. Flitting around wherever the wind fucking took him... there was no control to be had in that. Completely defenseless.]
[But he would do it. He'd become someone he hated if it meant becoming someone Tavros loved.]
[Now, what would he do, if he was actually a person and not whatever it was that he'd fucking become? What would the little weak fucker in him do? ...He'd stay. The little shit.]
I don't... I don't all want you to fuckin' be alone, bro.
[He shifted on his feet. Ugh, this was pathetic.]
You can, like... you can motherfuckin' beat me the fuck up or throw shit or not even look at a motherfucker, but I just...
I don't want you to feel...
[Who the fuck was he to say this!? He'd hurt Tavros more than he ever had, and then refused to leave!? If he could be someone completely different right now, he would. The thought of Tavros completely alone and hurting just... he couldn't deal with that. Tentatively, he moved towards the bed, not even completing a step, just pressing his foot forward and leaning on it.]
I don't want you hurting more than all what I was already fucking making you.
no subject
When he looks at him, Tavros started to lash out again. ]
What do you want from me?
Do you want my approval? Or you want me to accept what you've done. Maybe then you can shake off what little guilt you have gained from watching your pathetic matesprit cry, right?
I won't accept it, Gamzee. Don't hold your fucking breath.
[ You know, this is exactly why he wanted the highblood to leave. No one should speak up when they're upset. He knew he will regret some of his words later, but- whatever.
He runs his fingers through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. ]
... I don't want you to leave, to be honest.
I want my matesprit. My fucking matesprit! It's just ... ugh ... I can see those marks and it's driving me crazy. That little-- It makes me sick. I can't do this with his stench all over you.
Fucking piece of shit!
[ Oh, hey. It's about time Tavros started loathing someone with a burning passion. It was so overwhelming he didn't know what to do with himself. How to deal with hate? Can't deal.
So much hate. So intense. So ... refreshing ?????????????? ]
You know, if you came to me and told me 'Hey, this and that happened', we wouldn't be having this problem !! I don't want you to act like a kicked grub. I don't want you to apologize anymore. I just ... I just want you to acknowledge that some of your acts can be hurtful.
I want you to be more aware of yourself. Don't push away the ones who love and care for you, Gamzee.
.. That's all.
[ Aaaand breathe.
That actually ... felt good. A little. ]
no subject
[It's not like he didn't understand. It's not like he'd never been in this position before. Being so angry but wanting someone around at the same time. Sometimes you needed a lot of things at once. Despite feeling like he really didn't deserve to be here, the reasons to stay were stacking up. Mainly, because Tavros had admitted it, but secondly, because being selfish was a habit Gamzee was not going to break easily, and he wanted to be here, for fuck's sake. Because if he left, he wasn't very sure he'd have another chance to return.]
[By this point, Tavros' words weren't hurting him anymore. It was actually just surprising. He'd heard him get angry before, but never anything like this. Never screaming like he had been in the lounge, never directing this much hate at anyone before. It made him realize a lot of things - that Tavros had more inside of him than he'd ever known. He'd needed someone to be there for him, and Gamzee was all that he had. And what did Gamzee do? Throw it in his fucking face. Even though Gamzee had spent a lot of time with him, Tavros was still alone. Still... hearing all of this... holy shit. It was hardly the time to think about that. He wasn't going to stop the kid, either. He had shit he needed to get off of his chest, and it would be terrible to try calming him down before it all got released.]
[As Tavros breathed after his outburst, so did Gamzee. Taking Tavros' admission as permission to stay, Gamzee closed the space between them, now crouching before Tavros and trying to make eye contact.]
Tav.
[Ugh, this was so awkward. It felt like the wrong quadrant. He wasn't going to just stand around and watch his matesprit lose it, though. What the fuck was he going to do? He didn't have anyone else to vent to!]
I hurt you, I know I motherfuckin' did. I knew it'd fucking be hurting you if all you were to find out about this shit. It was a big ass fuckin' mistake that I ain't never wanted all to happen, and I didn't know what to do. And, I guess the way the noise went down weren't all the best fucking way it could've, probably.
[He cleared his throat, a little more confident now.]
I ain't concerned about getting my fuckin' ass up out the barkbeasthouse no fuckin' more, 'cause you're being way upset, brother. Be it too much to fuckin' ask to press pause on this fucked up shindig we got going to talk at me? I don't want you to keep this crazy whacked out harshness inside you no more.
no subject
It just ... didn't feel right.
Gamzee is his matesprit, and not his pale bro. He couldn't vent to him, even if he wanted to! It will only get him all worked up and when everything gets out of control-- Can he calm him down? The answer is no.
The highblood couldn't offer the sort of comfort Tavros craved right now. As a result, he was getting rather edgy, shifting a little against the bed, claws sliding up his thighs and then lower to settle on his knees again.
He'd been doing this for a long time now, and he knew if he kept his mouth shut, he'd be able to cool down on his own after a few minutes. ]
... No. I don't think we should.
[ He swallowed before he figured it's time to look at Gamzee in the eye. Not gonna lie, it was painfully difficult to do. ]
It's hard. It's ... really hard. Everything. I'm just ... I'm so tired, Gamzee.
[ Really. That's the one word that he could think of to describe what he's feeling right now. He was so tired of keeping things in. Tavros just discovered that he was depending way too much on the highblood. It's not Gamzee's job to listen to him vent and express his feelings. It's not his fucking responsibility! So, it's basically Tavros' fault, and that explained why he was so upset.
Gamzee is, literally, the only one he managed to build up feelings for. Just enough to fill a quadrant that is. Therefore, he'd created ridicules standards to his relationship with Gamzee.
Which is unfair to the highblood. So unfair.
He didn't plan this. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be so dependent on Gamzee. It made him extremely vulnerable and ... pathetic. Every part of him wanted to lean closer, maybe kiss or hug him a little, but- he didn't. ]
I think I said enough. More than enough. I mean- what more can I say or do? There's nothing we can do about this now. We can't change it. It happened.
It hurts, but ... I love you. [ And bitterly. ] You still need to get his fucking stench off you. I wasn't kidding earlier when I said I can smell it.
no subject
Aight. We won't.
[He moved from crouching on his feet to kneeling, as the position was starting to get uncomfortable. Even though he'd been warned that his matesprit didn't want to deal with him while he reeked of Eridan, Gamzee raised his hands to place them on top of where Tavros' were resting on his knees.]
I know, that I fuckin' all was putting the hurt on at you. You said it for your fuckin' own what I can't be going back and motherfucking changing shit now. But, uh.
[He took another breath. He was turning from less of a kicked grub to more of a confident apologist. Sliding his hands up Tavros' forearms, it didn't take long at all for him to revert back to his demonstrative self.]
I want all to be spending whatever motherfucking time our asses got left to serve in this joint on making you, like... happy again.
[He clicked his tongue at himself. So not smooth. He couldn't say anything right if his life depended on it.]
I want to fuckin' be doing that for you, even if you ain't wanting me back.
[There was a pause, and he withdrew his arms, rocking back to his feet and rising once more.]
Guess a brother should motherfuckin' start by doing all what you ask.
[Bath time. His favorite hour.]
'Less you be needing me here still.
no subject
Still, deep down, he knew Gamzee was being honest and he appreciates his attempts. Let's forget about that for a second since the highblood is about to head out.
Tavros spent the last few seconds toying with the claws between his lips, staring at his matesprit intensely before he decided to move out of the bed. ]
Hold on, Gam.
[ He didn't know what the hell triggered such interest, but he was in no mood to question his own motives. He just knew what he felt like doing and- he soon had his arms all curled up around Gamzee's shoulders, shifting his weight to his toes and keeping their heads in the same level. ]
Come back here when you're done, okay?
no subject
[Without another word, he turned and headed for the door, only halting when he heard Tavros command him to do so.]
[He'd rambled too much already, so all he did in response was turn, staring at the lowblood quizzically until he felt a pair of warm arms around his shoulders and]
[oh.]
[Well, that was certainly unexpected. Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Usually in a situation of such close proximity, there would be face rubbings and nipping and probably a little drool. For now, though, Gamzee locked eyes with his partner, bringing up a hand to swipe his thumb along the bottom of Tavros' jaw.]
'Course.
[And as soon as he's released, he'll make his way (unhappily) to the ablution chamber.]
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For now, he waits.
It didn't take long before he started regretting his choice. Perhaps it would have been better if he kept himself busy and dragged the highblood to the shower instead, because now he is settled in a room all by himself and-- he started thinking.
He started thinking about their argument, going through the scenario over again. Naturally, the following step involved unpleasant images of Gamzee and Eridan and well- let's say Tavros is not having the best time of his life right now.
It's been hours. He was losing it again. Gamzee, hurry the fuck up. ]
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[He did, however, do as he was asked. If there was ever a time not to skimp on something, it would be now. He didn't really know how to effectively clean himself, but he tried. Spent a good while clearing gunk and blood and grime out from underneath his claws, scrubbed every inch of him with some disgustingly perfumed soap that got in his eyes and nose and made him sneeze. Scrubbed his mottled face until the paint rinsed off and ran down the drain.]
[Ugh, this was takig for fucking ever, mainly because his usual baths were just the bare minimum - something to get him by so he wasn't disgusting 24/7. He was making this soap his fucking bitch, now. ...He was also pretty sure you weren't supposed to use soap in your hair, but this bar was the only thing he had - luckily someone had left it behind here, because like hell would he have planned ahead enough to actually bring his own.]
[Gamzee lost the soap a few times in his hair. Each time required about five minutes of searching to locate it again before he could continue trying to clean that ratted mess. After getting some of the inside, and all of the outside, he decided it was good enough. He couldn't get some parts separated enough to get everything. Standing under the spray again, he watched all of the foamy bubbles slide down his skin, now flushed and purple from being in the heat so long. It was entertaining, watching them.]
[That still didn't make this enjoyable. When he got fed up with that, he shut the water off and stepped out of the trap. There was probably still soap in some places, but whatever. He was so done.]
[...]
[He forgot a towel.]
[Was he supposed to put his old clothes back on?]
[Things you never think to ask about showers.]
[It not like he regularly took one by himself!!! Fine. Old clothes it was. Even if they were... dirty. And bloody. ...And had apparently gotten fucking soaked by the shower. Great. Looking like a sopping wet dog, Gamzee trudged unhappily out of the ablution chamber, leaving a trail of water down the hall behind him, carrying his shoes in his hands and listening to the slap, slap, slap of his wet, baggy clothes hitting against him as he walked.]
[Fucking showers. He leaned roughly up against the door to Tavros' room, leaving a splash against the door as he cranked the doorknob and pushed inside.]
[He was dripping and hidden under his hair, but he was clean, dammit.]
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He was clean, yet not really clean since he thought it was a smart idea to put on those dirty clothes again. It didn't help that his skin, hair and clothes are soaking wet along with all the filth, and it just made everything ten times worse.
So much for taking a shower. ]
... Makara.
[ Honestly, no words. There's a lot going on before him and he slowly moved out of the bed. He grabs him from the arms, lifting them up as he continued inspecting the mess he's dealing with. ]
We need to get rid of this, bro.
[ And by 'this', he meant his garments. All of it.
Without wasting another second, he placed his hands on Gamzee's sides, gripping into the wet fabric of his shirt. He only managed to pull halfway through, exposing the abdomen, before he motioned for Gamzee to take over. With the hair and the massive horns, Tavros would look absolutely silly trying to get that shirt over his head. Might as well let Gamzee take care of it.
While keeping the highblood busy with his little assigned task, Tavros guided his hands lower to undo those pants. He tried not to sound so bitter when he finally spoke again, keeping his gaze on his fingers and their work. ]
So ... You've been in the shower the whole time?
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The fuck you all think I been motherfucking doing, dog!?
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[ He muttered as he tugged down on those filthy pants, allowing them to drop to his ankles. Tavros then pulled away and searched the room for his towel. He knew he had one somewhere, and by the time he found it, he turned to face his partner again.
For now, he simply stares. Waiting for him to end his struggle with that shirt. ]
You need any help with that?
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[No, wait. Where was he going!? Tavros had pulled his pants off just to turn and walk away!? What the fuck!?]
[To answer you question, yes. Yes he does need help with that.]
Tch, no!
[Came the muffled response from the shirt. After a few more moments of wiggling and clawing, Gamzee had bent at the waist, shoving his arms in the gap between his horns under where the garment was stuck. It was a practiced art that he'd formulated after realizing his horns were getting too big to simply pull the thing over the top of them. Now spiraling taller than his arms, he had to do things a little differently. Pushing his arms forward, he sent the shirt sliding towards the tips of his horns, tipping his head down so gravity could take it the rest of the way. Honestly. Troll life was suffering.]
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It took him a while to be aware of the open door, and once he made sure their privacy is secured, Gamzee was ready to have the towel tossed over his head. Using his wings, Tavros managed to level himself higher. So, it was rather easy for him to work this way, and-- holy shit that's a lot of hair! He took care of it, though. Along with the face and shoulders.
Tavros leaned in and kissed is matesprit on the cheek, and then lower along his jawline; muttering. ]
... Thanks. I know how much you hate taking showers. So, I appreciate it.
[ He drops the towel and wrapped his arms around those shoulders again. He's just going to guide his lips to Gamzee's, keeping them slightly apart before he started kissing him. ]
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[Before he could give it any more thought, however, a large, fuzzy thing had made its perch on top of his head. Thrashing about to shake the offender off, he halted when Tavros had flown above him to work the water out of his hair. Oh, laughing motherfucking lords, that was going to take forever.]
[Gamzee pulled a face as the towel began wiping at his nose, his forehead. He didn't like being without his paint there in the first place, and to have so much attention placed on that area was uncomfortable. Tavros soon moved on to his neck and shoulders, though, and the way he pressed his lips against Gamzee's skin and muttered into his neck was more than enough to make him forget about what he was getting sour over in the first place.]
Alternative to that was all probably gonna motherfuckin' be some sort of bulge-ectomy or some shit. ...But I'dda done it anyway. 'Cause you up and--
[He was being kissed, towel around his shoulders and a warm brownblood with too many clothes on hovering in front of him. He finished his sentence as their lips broke apart.]
Fuckin' asked.
[With that, he shut up, returning his mouth to Tavros' and working a hand up around the boy's collar. With an experimental tug, the first button snapped free, popping clear off of the shirt and on to the ground.]
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pretty sure this is the part where i ask myself "omg why the hell am i writing this in game"
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