animus_network | nine ♓ video;

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[Feferi's gray skin looks pale as she steps forward, and it's clear that she's shaking. But she takes a deep breath, because this is too important not to tell everyone.]

My name is Feferi Peixes. Anyone who knows me knows I'm infamous for fish puns, but I'm going to hold off on them here, just so the message is as clear as possible. I don't want it to get twisted by a bad turn of phrase.

The message you all saw about the soul thing...it's true. I know, because...

[She takes another deep breath, swallowing hard.]

I went down the elevator, with some others, when we saw it open. We had to take the chance. We needed to know what was down there.

When the group I was with saw a soul being extracted from a dead person, we couldn't believe what we were seeing. More than anything, we knew what a precious thing that was. We didn't want it to be harmed, and so we followed where the retrieval unit was taking it.

...we didn't expect that it would be carrying the soul straight to Jason. We confronted him, we refused to give up the presence of the other groups that were in the administrators' area, and he punished us by forcing us to go through the soul extraction and re-implantation processes while we were still conscious.

Before I go on any further, I have to stress this point: DO NOT TAKE THIS AS AN INVITATION TO CONFRONT JASON. He will not hesitate to put you through that process, and no one should ever have to experience a thing like that. I don't want anyone to consider this as an invitation to take some kind of vengeance. That path only leads to pain.

I didn't think that he was actually capable of anything close to mercy until I went through that. Everyone in this tower has been through it while unconscious, and that is truly a mercy. When it happens, your body is taken downstairs and placed into a sphere. That sphere fills with a violet liquid, and then it begins to contract.

[Tears start to run down her cheeks as she remembers, and her voice cracks.]

It quite literally squeezes your soul out of your body, and that is like no physical pain in this or any other universe. I don't think there is a single word that is capable of describing it. Agony isn't strong enough, because the pain keeps going while you feel your body stop working.

And even when you are only that shining light, the pain doesn't fade immediately. It takes time.

Then, you're surgically put into - into a...a new body. I...

[She can't keep talking. She breaks down sobbing, and then the feed cuts.]

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[And, just a little, some of the anger drains. Asch slumps slightly - his own skeleton is barely holding him up, so maybe he should be directed to the bed.

His voice is a quiet, lifeless murmur.]

You don't have any idea.

[He wants - he's desperate to believe in those words, but he can't. Even as Luke, his value was in what he could do for other people, for Kimlasca; his power, or his status, but there was never a value in him simply existing.

And now that existing is all he has, he doesn't know what to do. Hanging at his sides, his fingers curl up slightly, not quite balling into fists.]

You always had value.

[Guy stands in contrast; straight, cold and silent, supporting Asch's slumping weight but not moving forward.

He had value as a small child. He was an heir. He was a brother. He was a noble. He had his family pride.

But he'd lost that.

At the manor, he really wasn't much different. He was a servant. He was valued for what he could do for others, how quickly, how well, how obediently. His value in himself plummeted every time he saw that sword hanging in the foyer and knowing that he couldn't do anything but wait.

Van saw his worth as a master. Pere saw his worth as a person. But for Guy, that was only evident because they were the only strong links he held. Did the Fabres value him? Not past the level of any other worker.

And now... even his value for Luke was tipping to and fro, as the boy gained his own independence bit by bit. For seven years Guy DID have someone who valued him and found him necessary. Now...

...]

No. Not always. Just like you always haven't just been something for someone to use. But no one is going to be worth something every day of their lives - that's selfish thinking. Sometimes, existing is all you can do. Sometimes, that's all you can do for a while.

But that doesn't have to be where it stops.

[No, Guy, you were never "any other worker." The evidence of that is right in front of you, as Asch tips forward slowly against Guy's support. Even with seven years and all the bad blood between them - for that moment, Asch puts his trust in Guy.

He's crying, and he doesn't even seem to realize it.]

Then what the hell am I supposed to do...?

[The tears are a surprise. It's uncomfortable, but Guy does shift his support, wrapping his arms stiffly around Asch's shoulders with a palm firmly against his head. It's a bit tense, as he's expecting the redhead to snap back at any second. But if he's already started to cry, then his worries for that aren't as horrid as they normally could be.]

Keep moving. And have a bit of goddamn faith in your own self, and in the people around you. Trust us that we don't expect you to be anything but what you choose to be.

[...

His arms squeeze a bit, a sharp exhale through the nose against Asch's shoulder.]

...other than that, I can't tell you what to do. I'm sorry.

[Almost as soon as there are arms around him, Asch slumps his weight against Guy, his forehead on the blond's shoulder. He makes a slight noise when Guy squeezes him, and as with the tears, he doesn't seem entirely aware of it.]

Well, that's helpful.

[At least it seems to have cheered him up a little, if that light punch to Guy's gut - more a formality than anything - is any indication. Asch doesn't make any other effort to move, though.]

Well... you're welcome.

[It's quiet and neutral, just a hint of that sheepish behavior slipping into his tone. He's just as confused as Asch about what to do right now, and the fact that Asch isn't even attempting to move is awkward.

There's a long silence before Guy finally guides with his arms, wordlessly guiding Asch to the bed as he slips out of the embrace and lets Asch's weight rest down against the mattress.]

Rest for a couple minutes, alright? [He shrugs lightly.] Sleep, think, stare at the wall, whatever you need to do. I'll make sure you have your privacy until you can get your head back together.

Okay, Asch?

[Luckily for Guy, he's still letting himself be lead around, far too emotionally wrung out to protest anything too strongly - including Guy's leaving. Asch just sits on the bed for a few minutes, kind of absently reaching up to straighten his tabard where it got crumpled against Guy's chest.]

...Thanks.

[He gives a curt nod, an attempt at a smile flickering forward before his expression slips straight back to that contemplative neutral.]

...No problem.

[He turns on his heel, slowly striding back to the room door and casually swinging it open as he calls back over his shoulder:]

Just knock if you need anything.

[And with that, he slips out and lets the door shut with a loud click, keeping his shoulders to the back of the door and his face down. Hopefully Asch would just have his time to reorganize his thoughts and leave; perhaps they could move on as they pleased after that.

Because at this very moment, Guy was not sure what exactly had happened... or if he was happy or angry or disappointed that he'd let himself do what he just did for the God-General. He wasn't sure, and it was that confusion that lingered in his stomach, keeping him leaning up against the doorway with arms tightly crossed over his chest.

To offer help... it seemed like the right thing to do. Right?

Mnnh. He hated him. Not in the way he hated his father. But he didn't enjoy being around him. But at the same time, this had just happened, and Guy had played along with it, and....

He exhales sharply with a grimace, head leaning back with a thud against the door. What the hell was he supposed to do with this kid?]

[Practically as soon as Guy is out of the room, Asch sprawls across the bed, all pretenses thrown down the staircase. He curls up on himself not long after, pulling Guy's pillow into his chest and squeezing it.

The nostalgia of the scent is powerful and calming; Guy's smell is on of the manor, with all the old comfort and familiarity that implies. It's a reminder of easier, ignorant days spent running through the gardens of the manor and studying for the day that he would sit on the throne beside Natalia. It's the scent of home, and right now he is very grateful for it.

[It's a good half hour later that Asch finally knocks on the door before putting a hand to the doorknob to let himself out. His expression is mostly under control now, a thin layer of neutral dislike for the universe at large on his face. There's no much evidence of the last hour or so about him at all, really, just a slight aspect of disarray to his hair, as though he'd pushed his bangs back again in a hurry just enough to make them presentable.]

...Sorry for the trouble.

Don't worry about it.

[It's an automatic response, Guy not really facing the God-General as he exits. He's still too caught up in his own thoughts, and a bit too relieved that Asch is finally leaving with his normal grumpy self intact.

...

There's an awkward pause, before Guy shuffles a bit and straightens himself up with a cough.]

Take care of yourself.

...You too.

[It's not quite as awkward as Guy's, but definitely awkward enough. Asch doesn't say anything more as he walks past Guy to go up and around the stairs to his own room; he's not together enough to deal with the inevitable aftermath of that conversation.

So... Yep, just going to go to his room now. Later, Guy.]

[He glances up for a second to watch that flash of red hair go stalking back down the hall, before letting out a long breath and going back into his room.

Go do whatever you want and leave him to his confusions. He has a bed to fix up, apparently.

...

But... yeah. See ya, Asch.]

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nine ♓ video;

I don't think I have any crying icons sob

that is ok i will pretend

good because one belongs here. Have my hilariously inappropriate icon instead

BELKEND MAKES ASCH SAD

KEYWORDS I GUESS the actual icon is still not appropriate

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lol I think we're done