nine ♓ video;

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi's gray skin looks pale as she steps forward, and it's clear that she's shaking. But she takes a deep breath, because this is too important not to tell everyone.]

My name is Feferi Peixes. Anyone who knows me knows I'm infamous for fish puns, but I'm going to hold off on them here, just so the message is as clear as possible. I don't want it to get twisted by a bad turn of phrase.


The message you all saw about the soul thing...it's true. I know, because...

[She takes another deep breath, swallowing hard.]

I went down the elevator, with some others, when we saw it open. We had to take the chance. We needed to know what was down there.

When the group I was with saw a soul being extracted from a dead person, we couldn't believe what we were seeing. More than anything, we knew what a precious thing that was. We didn't want it to be harmed, and so we followed where the retrieval unit was taking it.

...we didn't expect that it would be carrying the soul straight to Jason. We confronted him, we refused to give up the presence of the other groups that were in the administrators' area, and he punished us by forcing us to go through the soul extraction and re-implantation processes while we were still conscious.

Before I go on any further, I have to stress this point: DO NOT TAKE THIS AS AN INVITATION TO CONFRONT JASON. He will not hesitate to put you through that process, and no one should ever have to experience a thing like that. I don't want anyone to consider this as an invitation to take some kind of vengeance. That path only leads to pain.

I didn't think that he was actually capable of anything close to mercy until I went through that. Everyone in this tower has been through it while unconscious, and that is truly a mercy. When it happens, your body is taken downstairs and placed into a sphere. That sphere fills with a violet liquid, and then it begins to contract.

[Tears start to run down her cheeks as she remembers, and her voice cracks.]

It quite literally squeezes your soul out of your body, and that is like no physical pain in this or any other universe. I don't think there is a single word that is capable of describing it. Agony isn't strong enough, because the pain keeps going while you feel your body stop working.

And even when you are only that shining light, the pain doesn't fade immediately. It takes time.

Then, you're surgically put into - into a...a new body. I...

[She can't keep talking. She breaks down sobbing, and then the feed cuts.]

Comments

[nottheonly]

...No.

[That's the only thing that Rei can say.]

[cullscuttlefish]

I wish it weren't true. But it is.

[notayoungkitten]

This... on top of everything else.

[cullscuttlefish]

I...I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

[video]

[fuhgeddaboudit]

...where are ya right now? There's some stuff I'm tryin' to figure out and I'd rather be talkin' face to face if ya can.

video -> action;

[cullscuttlefish]

I'm by the terminals closest to room 1-05. I'm...not moving anytime soon.

action

[repeatingsun]

[Solas cannot believe what she is hearing.

This body- She stares at herself, at her hands, in shock and horror as she backs away from the terminal she was watching. She's-]

How? I don't - I'm a spirit! Plants! HOW?! How did they confine me to-

[She has truly been cut off from Meridian. From her everything. She digs her fingers into her arms, scratches until blood wells up.

...Blood. Okay, maybe it looks more like sap, but it's blood and it's wrong it doesn't work like this wrong wrong wrong WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

Solas screams briefly and then staggers to a corner to curl up and cry, her hands at her temples - hands, temples, they're real this is a body this isn't just an extension of her will SHE IS ALONE AND SHE IS CUT OFF FOREVER - and the wounds on her arms already closing.

If they were able to do this to her- to something that is as far from human as anyone will ever get -

She can't even comprehend it, and that is why she's breaking down now. Cleanup in the textbook aisle, please...]

action

[warriorscribe]

*There is a pair of arms going around you now, Sola. Ones you may recognize.*

text | locked

[morituramfides]

Hey.

Come on kid, don't cry like that.

permalocked

[cullscuttlefish]

It's )(ard not to.

not here

[puppy_lancer]

[Due to seeing this video, Lancer put his fist through the monitor of a terminal. Again. Too bad Dax isn't around to fix it anymore.]

not here

[cullscuttlefish]

[Lancer, she is so sorry. For your hand.]

[Text - Anon]

[bloodyashes]

...I think I know the sort of pain you're describing.

I'm sorry. No one deserves that.

[Small words of sympathy - sorry, Feferi, there won't be any replies to this. He needs to go curl up in a ball now.]

text;

[cullscuttlefish]

It's unimaginable. If you've been through anything similar, I'm sorry.

[relinquishing]

So... that's how they "save" us from death, huh...

[The words are spat out, a mix of disgust masking a quiet state of horror. First the visitors, then the games, the mist, that mess of cryptic messages drowning in powers he couldn't understand, caked in blood and gore... and now this.

What the hell was going on in this tower??]

[Action, dorm halls]

[bloodyashes]

[It's a few minutes after that post that a certain redhead comes by Guy's terminal, and he stops only because he hears Guy's voice. Asch looks more than a bit ill, and he's shaking pretty badly.]

...You saw, then.

[It's a very small voice, and wavering.]

video; private

[caliginous]

[Feferi can observe how intently Karkat is listening, because he doesn't bother to turn the video feed off. His frown only gets deeper the more she talks.

When she finishes, only then does he sit up. The sleeve of his jacket is in ribbons and coated with dried blood, but his expression serious.]

Are you outside your room?

video; private

[cullscuttlefish]

[She looks up just long enough to catch that serious expression, and she nods through her tears.]

Yeah, I am.

video

[autopsic]

[ Well this does explain a lot, how her dead classmates are able to appear alive again and the deaths she has heard so much about too. Still, how can this not make her mad? How could someone ever do such a thing? To so many people and after all of this? Sure, Kirigiri hadn't been here for a long time, but it might also explain the experiments and the collars.

Oh, she's mad. ]

What.

video

[cullscuttlefish]

We...we went down there to get information. Try and find a way out, maybe.

[Give her a minute.]

We found...we found a room full of bodies first. And then we saw what happened to the dead girl. None of us wanted to stand for it.

I wish it weren't the truth. But it is.

[hystericull]

where are you.

[cullscuttlefish]

Not far from the dorms.

[video]

[boxingemperor]

[This...this is a lot to take in. Ruana's months are turning out to be worse than Jason's, he's almost certain. His friends had gone mad and left him blind in one eye, innocent people were taken to the tower only to be toyed with on an equal level, an administrator...devoured...]

H-Hey, are you okay?

[But this takes the cake. He's got to be strong. For everyone.

She might still be in pain. It's hard not to be mad right now, but seeing the troll girl break down cools his jets.]

[video]

[cullscuttlefish]

...I'm trying to hold it together. That's all I can really do, at this point. I just wish I could say that one crazy message wasn't true, rather than being able to confirm it. That's the part that hurts more than anything else right now.

[She wipes at her eyes, but that doesn't come anywhere close to drying all her tears.]

The truth had to come out. I knew that even when I was down there, because that kind of secret has to come out somehow. It just hurts.

voice;

[seekinganswers]

[Sheba is very clearly shaken by what she's just heard - it's written all over her face. Perhaps she doesn't know all of the details, but what she's just heard is enough to make her stomach churn.

More to the point, though, Feferi had clearly gone through something awful. She fumbles with the terminal and manages to engage the voice recording feature.]

Are... you going to be okay? Do you need someone to come by? They say there's strength in numbers and... I think that goes double for emotional strength.

[Her voice is a little wavery, but she's worried - Feferi had seemed so distraught...]

voice;

[cullscuttlefish]

I...

[She lets out a short, choked sob.]

I'm by the terminals closest to room 1-05. I think I would like some company...

[true_noir]

Curious.

[She says nothing else. There is nothing else TO say. The process is far more 'mechanical' than the ones that she knew in her last world, but it is all the same a process she can comprehend in a fairly basic sense.

The details are unknown to her, but they do not surprise her. She also would wager that, if the fluids were involved somehow, that the body she inhabited was comprised or related to the fluid in her collar, and that it was the means of housing 'her' within the frame she wore, a cohesion that kept her intact.

And in the end, none of it really mattered.]

[cullscuttlefish]

That's one way of putting it...

[video]

[marchwarden]

[It takes much to get Haldir to speak openly these days, but he has a feeling that things will only get worse from here on out. Never once did he think that the Administrators were this diabolical.

It makes his skin crawl.]

Calm yourself.

[His voice isn't hardly as stern as it should be.]

Calm yourself before you truly make yourself ill.

[video]

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi nods, wiping at her eyes and trying to take a slow, deep breath. Then a second one, and while it still takes her a minute, that sobbing slows and then stops. She's still shaky, but she's visibly calmer than she had been at the end of the initial tape.]

You're right. Completely breaking down isn't going to solve much of anything, is it?

video;

[yougotthatwrong]

[Sharp intake of breath.

That's what Makoto Naegi did upon hearing this news.

What's with the death of Dax earlier on, and then the full brunt of this information overload, it's a miracle his eyes hasn't lost that glimmer of life yet.

Right, there's another slow, drawn out breathing before a cracky voice responded.]

A-are you going to be alright?

[Of course he's concerned, even if she's just Maizono-san's roommate, a friend of a friend's still sort of a friend to him.

Well, acquaintance would be the right word but everyone's shaken enough as it is.]

video;

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi takes a deep breath, her own voice still cracky when she answers.]

I - yeah. I'm going to be all right. Saying it was just a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I knew that the truth had to come out, even when I was down there, but knowing it and saying it are two different things. But I...yeah. I'm gonna be okay.

[action]

[pengeen]

[Kidou... hasn't been in the best state of mind for the past few days, and with the add on of Dax's death and this new information about their souls... it just didn't really help anything at all.

But he knew he had to comfort Feferi, in the least. She was his friend and she was absolutely upset, this month has been even harder for her than it has for Kidou, after all.

He learned of her location after looking back on some of the messages on her post, and quickly made his way up there, where he immediately gathered Feferi into his arms without saying a word.

Shh, big brother Kidou is here.]

[action]

[cullscuttlefish]

[There aren't any words that need to be said. Feferi just let her arms go around Kidou, and let her tears come out.

She'd known the entire time she was down there that she couldn't break down. That she needed to get the information out, one way or another. She hadn't expected to have that - that thing tell everyone first, and being the one to confirm the news, and not break it, had made things harder. Until that point, it could have just been explained away as a monster's lie.

But it didn't seem fair to anyone who had been there to let them keep living a lie. Feferi didn't want that. After seeing what happened to Dax - and realizing how much she'd really misunderstood him - she felt, deep-down, that he wouldn't want them living a lie like that either.

That still didn't make telling the truth any easier. Experiencing it had been one thing, but telling it, another entirely.]

video;

[carabina]

....

[ Mami says nothing. She's really too shocked to say anything. Probably because she still hasn't come to terms with losing her own soul. ]

I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you. [ Not hard for us, because she's gone through this in her home world. ] If there's anything I can do...

video;

[cullscuttlefish]

It's hard, but telling the truth...it had to be done. It wouldn't be right to let that kind of thing stay hidden.

[She nods, wiping at her tears.]

I'll be okay, I think. But thank you.

video;

[proteusmoon]

[ Cecil still has so many questions, but it's plain that the girl is in no shape to answer them and Cecil doesn't have the heart to put her through it anyway, no matter how important it may be for her to understand entirely. ]

I am sorry... He had no right to put any of you through such trauma. You did not deserve such a thing.

[ She hesitates for a moment, then quickly speaks up again, a thought occurring to her. ]

Are you still in pain? Are any of you still... hurt? I have a little experience in healing. Please let me know if there's anything you need, no matter how extravagant it may seem. I will do my best to help. My name is Cecil.

video;

[cullscuttlefish]

It's...it's not okay that it happened. But it's over, and we came out of it knowing what happens.

[Feferi shakes her head a little.]

The physical pain is all over. The emotional part...telling the truth was the hard part, at least for me. I can't speak to the others, but if they need anything... [Her voice cracks, and she wipes at her eyes.]

Thank you.

[carrythesin]

[A clone of a clone... So many questions and yet it doesn't matter.]

But our memories... [Was the only thing she could muster out. Please tell her they are still real.]

[cullscuttlefish]

They're still real.

[Feferi's voice manages to get stronger as she says that, though it isn't angry. It's determined.]

Everything you remember, everything that you feel...those are still your emotions and your memories.

[keybearer]

...No.

[It's all Riku manages first. Weak, hoarse... difficult to hear, really.

He averts his eyes, taking in a deep breath. This whole thing... it's so hard to take in. And this girl... what she just described. Do they really all go through with it?]

But what does that mean about our bodies? There has to be some kind of catch. Something they're hiding from us even now.

[The worlds... they can't be gone. They can't.]

[cullscuttlefish]

I know that they...they create a new body.

[Her voice cracks, and she has to take a minute to compose herself before she continues.]

I can't speak to how that's done, because I didn't see it, but I do know that there were others down there. My guess is that they saw more than I did, but they probably need some time to process what it is that they saw. Please give them that time and that space. They will find their ways to tell the truth. I believe in the others that were down there with me, and I know that they will.

[video]

[doesnotgetit]

[Hey, it's that girl she met during the recent round of games... She heard about the things the poor girl went through during that infighting stuff, so to have seen that... wow.

She wants to offer some kind of comfort. She barely knows the kid, but she helped Hakuno a little, so she kinda owes her. But Hakuno is a little caught up in what she's talking about...]

So... all of us here. We really do have souls? And they're real? Not... copies?

[video]

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi manages a weak smile in response.]

Every single one of us here has a soul, yes. They're real, as are the memories we have. I don't think they could shine as brightly as they did if they were some kind of copy.

[rewindingly]

[ Homura is silent. She's glad the feed cut. She would rather Feferi did not have to see her expression. Before trying to respond, Homura switches her own terminal to voice-only. ]

Do not be alone right now, Feferi. Who is with you?

[cullscuttlefish]

I wasn't planning to be, but I'm not with anyone right now. I'm not far from the dorms, though, not far from room 1-05.

voice

[neverwrong]

Are you... are you serious?

[A month ago, he would've said that the very notion of what this girl was saying was completely ridiculous. But after what he saw these past few weeks, what he felt, he's ready to believe almost anything. And from what he read and heard during his information gathering period, the idea that souls were real wasn't all that far-fetched.

There's a slight tremble to his voice when he speaks.]

We're souls- souls in recycled bodies, is that what you're telling me?!

voice

[cullscuttlefish]

I'm being completely serious. I wish that this weren't the truth of the matter, but it is. Our souls are just the same as they were before we came, or at least, they aren't being changed beyond the strain of the events of the tower. Our bodies...I can't say the same.

Video

[wweh]

Wha...

[There's some cursing and some fustration. Boy, did he ever feel like the shittiest moirail that ever existed.]

Hold on, Fef. I'll be there as soon as I can wrap my head around all a' this...

[cullscuttlefish]

It's a hell of a lot to process. That's why I haven't been around this week, at all. I knew I was gonna have to figure out how to say all of this, and I needed to do that on my own.

[And it took her till now to find the words, but she's leaving that part off.]