[Video/Action] Bittersweet the Bonds of the Heart

[oathshackledbird]

[Losing Mami, who he viewed as an adopted daughter, last month had been hard, but Diarmuid had worked his way through his grief by focusing on the happy times they had spent together.  However, when three more people he is close to are sent home--two of which he cares for like his own children--those happy memories become a source of pain instead of a route passed the grief.

When he appears on the Network, Diarmuid looks more lost and empty than he has in a long time.]

Usually, when I address everyone, I am asking for help on a project that will benefit the whole Tower.  Today, I am asking for help on a more personal level.

How does one handle losing a child?  Not just one, but several over a short period of time?  Nothing I try seems to work, and I am...

[His voice trails off here, shaking and uncertain.  A short time later, the feed ends.]

Action:

[After making his post, Diarmuid can be found wandering the Tower almost as if he hopes one of the floors might give him the answers he seeks.  There are some specific prompts below, but feel free to find him elsewhere.]

Room 4-16:

[A handmade wooden box sits on the bed next to Diarmuid.  Once it held chocolates, now it holds letters.  Several written in a childish hand are sitting on the top, but what Diarmuid is looking at is a pair of drawings that are usually set up near his bed on the nightstand.

He's not crying...  He's not...]

Floor 48 (The Graveyard):

[Rabbit would probably scold Diarmuid for singing what is suppose to be a funny song in such a sad voice, but it's hard to be happy when he is singing the song alone to the gravestone of the person who was suppose to be singing it with him.  He and Yotsuba had promised to get together to sing Rabbit's songs as a way of honoring their friend's memory...

Now that is never going to happen in any way other than this.]

Floor 3 (The Library):

[There is ink smudged on his cheek and his arm, but Diarmuid doesn't notice.  On the surface, he's focused on printing more copies of the Tower Guide to put out for those who might want them, but really he's in the Library for a very different reason.  Tohko was always here and it's like he feels spending time here will help him find her again--find that cheerful voice who had so often redirected him when he didn't know what to do next.  He almost expects to look up and see her there, smiling and ready to offer her help with what he's working on.

Unfortunately, no matter how long he waits, that will not happen.]

Floor 28 (The Music Room):

[Before even his brother, Labrys had been the first family Diarmuid had in this place.  Their bond created during the January experiment, afterward they had talked about learning to play an instrument together, but life in the Tower and his indecisiveness had kept them from doing so.  Now, as his hands run over the piano he had once heard her picking a tune out on, the sound of his grief blocks any music the instrument might make.

How is it that one who once lived his life with no regrets has so many of them now?]

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

I would argue with you about its importance, but I don't feel much like arguing right now.

[Diarmuid leans forward to rest his head against Waver's shoulder again.]

Though, if there is anything you want to say to me about that...I will listen. Your thoughts are important.

[fionnuisce]

...I simply wanted to know what you might have said if you had finished that sentence. That's all there is to it.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid nods against Waver's shoulder.]

And now you know. Hopefully, the answer was acceptable.

[fionnuisce]

I think that it was, yes.

[Helplessness had rather quickly been replaced with a quietly fond quality to Waver's voice, the kind that almost felt foreign even to him.]

Are you going to be alright?

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid is happy to hear the change in Waver's voice, and that, plus the other man's answer, makes him smile slightly, even if his answer to Waver's question seems oddly contradictory to the smile.]

No, I think 'all right' will be hard to grasp for a while. I am not going to lie to you. But, I will make it. I promise you. I will make it.

[fionnuisce]

I know you will be, Diarmuid. You're far stronger than you think you are, believe me.

And I'll be here. I don't know if this place will try to kick me out or what, but for now I'll make sure to be here.

[oathshackledbird]

I know you will... I just...

[He laughs softly and gives Waver a squeeze.]

I get scared sometimes. That's a human thing, right? One of those you all tell me I shouldn't feel bad for feeling once and a while?

[fionnuisce]

Yes, of course it is. Just as it's human for me to worry and not want to see you in pain, idiot.

[oathshackledbird]

I know...

[Diarmuid's voice gets soft.]

I'm sorry I worry you so. Every time I think I'm getting stronger, this place knocks me back down again.

[fionnuisce]

Don't worry so much about it. You're doing the best that you can, and that's all I want from you. Besides, shouldn't the fact that you keep getting up mean you're stronger for it somehow?

[oathshackledbird]

I like to think that. Otherwise, what is the point of getting back up?

[Diarmuid smiles slightly.]

I mean besides keeping you from beating me for being a fool?

[fionnuisce]

I think that's as good a motivation as any, isn't it?

[oathshackledbird]

Not just a good motivation. The best. Of course, we both know I'm terribly biased.

[fionnuisce]

Horribly, of course. But I'm not one to talk.

[oathshackledbird]

Biased are you? I never would have guessed with how you put up with me.

[Diarmuid laughs lightly.]

Someday I will pay you back, I promise.

[fionnuisce]

I don't need you to pay me back. That's idiotic.

...Hey. Close your eyes for a second.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid looks up at Waver curiously, but after a moment does as he is asked.]

Is everything okay?

[fionnuisce]

It's fine, shut up.

[Waver straightened up, put a hand on the back of Diarmuid's head, and pulled him over far enough for a hesitant kiss.]

[oathshackledbird]

[That kiss is the last thing Diarmuid was expecting and his surprise is show by the gasp that slips from his mouth and is smothered in the kiss. His surprise is pushed away quickly though, and the kiss is returned, perhaps a little more desperately than it should be considering Waver's hesitation. That is why, after a moment, Diarmuid pauses before continuing to respond much more gently.]

[fionnuisce]

[Waver pulled back after a moment longer, though his hand stayed where it was.]

Sorry...was that too much? I just thought...perhaps that would help you somehow.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid shakes his head, not moving from where Waver has pulled him to. In fact, one of his hands raises to twist itself carefully into Waver's hair so that the other man can't move too far away.]

No, no. I was just startled and then worried I was being too...needy. I didn't want you to be sorry you kissed me.

[fionnuisce]

You didn't do anything wrong, so don't worry about it. I was just concerned I must have done something incorrectly.

[oathshackledbird]

No, you did very well. Your teacher is very pleased.

[Diarmuid leans forward to lightly kiss Waver as a way of reinforcing his statement.]

[fionnuisce]

D-don't talk to me like I'm a stupid kid.

[oathshackledbird]

Waver, I hardly consider you a kid.

[The hand in Waver's hair rubs gently at the back of the man's head.]

Relax, okay. Your timing was right on. It did make me feel better. Thank you.