[video/action]

[bashfulshifter]

[Now this is unusual--the blonde man is on camera! Although it should be easy to figure out that whatever extenuating circumstances have driven him to this were not kind; unkempt, unshaven, blue eyes dead and glistening with tears, his appearance screams of a man in mourning who hasn't left his room for almost a week. And this is, indeed, the case.]

[A text apology would be the path of least resistance, but the last time he tried that people got angry at him, and he's sure that they're all angry enough with him as it is. He wants them to see how sorry he is, even if he's feeling too miserable to leave the first floor dorms. It's about all he can manage.]

[...If even that. Cameras have never agreed with Rick, and as he opens his mouth to try and speak, he realizes that they're certainly not going to be friendly with him now.]

--I-I--A-A-Ah--

[He closes his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. Don't think about the fact that you're being filmed. Don't think about how everyone checking the terminals can watch your red face blubbering about your horrible mistakes. Which they are already judging you viciously for, by the way. Just ignore that for a minute. Right.]

...S-Some...s-s-s-something-- [Rick grinds on that first syllable a few more times through his teeth, falters, gives up.] --I-I m-m-mean--l-last--th--there--th--u-um--

[He can't do this. Rick swipes off his glasses and buries his face in his hand, taking several deep, long breaths. When he speaks again, his words are still muffled in his palm.]

...I-I've m-made...a m-m-mistake...

[The blonde man sits in front of the terminal for some time thereafter, as if he's going to try and continue, but when the words don't come he quickly reaches over and turns off the feed.]

[He doesn't stay to look at replies to his post--the idea of other people commenting on that embarrassing display almost makes him sick. Instead, he stumbles back to his quiet, dark room on the first floor and curls up in his bed.]

Comments

[bashfulshifter]

[Not checking up on Veronica...that was one of the many mistakes Rick thinks of when he hears her voice behind the door. Selfishly going about his business, his tasks, telling himself that everyone came back and they would all recover well...things were so hectic that he couldn't even send a note of thanks for Veronica's present, or make a present in return.]

[Rick sits up and stares at the Chocobo feather-stuffed pillow resting on top of the standard one. He doesn't want her to see him like this. He owes it to her to make her happy. But pushing her away...that won't do, either.]

[There's a long span of silence after Veronica knocks. Then, faintly from within: ]

...Yes.

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[She hasn't seen him for so long. Veronica was sure enough that he had gotten the present she had made, how could he have not? It wasn't like she was expecting much in return, what with everything that was happening but... this level of solitude wasn't boding well for her.

She stands there in silence, trying to pick up if he said anything else.]

...Do... I-is it okay I-if I c-come in?

[bashfulshifter]

[There's another significantly long pause. Then, without warning, the door quietly pops open.]

[Rick's been keeping things fairly dark, and the room is peculiarly unkempt, at least by his usual meticulous standards. The blonde man himself is just about as dingy as the room--still in his pajamas which smell stale from constant wear, clearly unwashed and unshaven for several days, with red-rimmed blank eyes that don't seem to register Veronica is there for some moments after he sees her.]

[Eventually Rick seems to realize what he's doing. He drags a hand over his face, sighs deeply, then steps out of the way so Veronica can come inside.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[....Okay, something was wrong here. The last time she had seen Rick, he was nowhere near this disheveled. She immediately knows things are not okay from the looks of him.

Hesitantly, she steps into Rick's room, pausing as the stench fully hits her.

Once inside, she regards Rick quietly. Should she speak first?]

[bashfulshifter]

[It might help to get the conversation going in the direction Veronica is thinking of. In the meanwhile, Rick is only concerned with breaking the ice--he at least has the cognitive capacity to realize how embarrassing this is. Absently, Rick turns the lights on and frowns at the mess, but makes no attempts to clean it up.]

A-Ah...c--c-can I...m-make you a-a-anything? [That comes out of him on instinct; they don't have any food or drink in the dorms that would need preparing. Just a couple of bottles of wine from the cafeteria, and Rick isn't about to give a minor one of those, no matter how depressed he is.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

...Hmm? [She blinks a few times when the lights come on and oh my god it's even worse with the lights on.]

Uh... n-no thanks. I'm... I'm o-okay. [But he's not, from the looks of it.]

... I uh.... h-haven't s-seen you for a while, Rick.

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick forgets almost immediately that he's even offered Veronica anything, instead slowly meandering his way across the room to sit on the edge of his bed.]

...Y-Yes...

[He stares off at the opposite wall and drifts into listless silence.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[She watches in confused silence. If this had something to do with her going off to fight Jason, she'd surely have to apologize.

Veronica stood beside Rick's bed, looking at him, then at the wall.]

...I-I came to see h-how you're... doing.

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick nods, slowly, but doesn't say anything or take his gaze off the spot on the wall. He understands that the inevitable discussion is coming--he wants to avoid it as long as possible--but he's too numb, physically and mentally, to express anything more than hollow disinterest.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Veronica notices his disinterest immediately, having seen this type of exhaustion multiple times before. She'd also seen Rick in various states of exhaustion over their time here, but this... this was big.

Deciding to kneel down in front of him, she looked up at him with large, concerned eyes.]

...Are you okay?

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick forces his eyes shut. When they open again they're puffy with tears, settled on Veronica.]

[He shakes his head.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[She was afraid of that.]

Do you... w-want to t-talk about it?

[bashfulshifter]

[...He has to think about that for a little bit. No, Rick doesn't not want to talk about it, but...she went to all this trouble to check on him, and to shoo her away seems awfully insensitive. Reluctantly he sighs, burying his face in his hands.]

...I...I-I g-guess I...sh--should...r-right?

[stitchedupbodyguard]

Y-you don't... h-haveto.

I mean, if you want me to leave, I-I could g-go...

[bashfulshifter]

--W-Wait.

[Rick straightens suddenly, holding out a hand as if intending to grab Veronica's shoulder and keep her there--but he checks himself at the last second and pulls away, visibly shaken.]

...I-I...I d-don't...w-w-want to b-be...a-alone.

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Veronica wasn't going to get up, but when she sees Rick's hand reaching out there's no way she's leaving now.

Reaching out, she took his hand in hers, giving him a nod.]

O-okay, I wont leave.

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick nods slowly back, giving Veronica's hand a small squeeze.]

...Th--Thank you...

[He drifts into silence, at first not sure where to go from there. Veronica is staying...well, now he has to tell her what happened, doesn't he?]

...There w-was a...a f-f-fight...l-last w-week.

[stitchedupbodyguard]

I-I heard. I n-never g-got to see it though.

[She was too busy and couldn't join in.]

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick visibly flinches. So she knows, then...]

...I... [He gives an involuntary, shuddering sob.] ...I d-d-didn't m-mean...t-to h-hurt...I'm s-s-sorry...

[stitchedupbodyguard]

I-I know.

[She squeezed his hand gently. Even though she hadn't been there in person, she had easily gotten the gist of what happened.]

It's o-okay.... r-really.

[bashfulshifter]

[He vigorously shakes his head.]

--N-No, no it--i-it's not. [Rick swipes off his glasses, burying his face in his hand.] I--I k-keep s-s-saying it w-will be, a-and--and it's n-n-not...I d-don't...know...

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Hesitantly, she just sits there, watching him and not sure if much physical contact was a good thing at the moment.]

W-well... y-you were b-being controlled... r-right?

[bashfulshifter]

[Rick nods, numbly.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

T-then y-you don't h-have to apologize.

It w-wasn't you d-doing that.

[bashfulshifter]

[He slowly shakes his head with a heavy sigh.]

...The...th--the w-words were m-mine. I d-didn't w-w-want to...t-to s-say them, but...they're t-true.