animus_network | 01 ♉ text & video

[Alright, he got kinda worked up about this when he first saw dead humans laying around, and was going to say something. But he was still nervous about getting found and killed, and then there was fighting, and then there was recovering, and to be honest, he sort of forgot??? Luckily, the Highblood was good enough to remind him about it with that horrible braying nonsense the other day. He's annoyed, both that there are threats being made and that, apparently, this is something that needs to be announced at all. But… what can he do. Aliens, and all that…]

hEY,
sO i GUESS PROBABLY, yOU MAY HAVE HEARD THE ANNOUNCEMENT A WEEK AGO WHERE,
sOME BULGELICKER STARTED YELLING ABOUT, kILLING PEOPLE FOR FUN,
oR IF YOU HAVEN'T,
i HAVE JUST INFORMED YOU THAT, tHAT IS A THING THAT HAPPENED,
eITHER WAY, i THINK IT IS PROBABLY TIME SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING
sINCE i GUESS, aLIENS LACK THE COMMON SENSE TO KNOW A SUBJUGGLATOR WHEN THEY SEE ONE,
oH i SORT OF SPOILED THE SURPRISE THERE, bY SAYING THAT, bUT THAT'S OKAY,
aNYWAY,
yES, hE IS A SUBJUGGLATOR WHICH MEANS, iT IS HIS JOB TO, mURDER PEOPLE,
aLSO TO BE COMPLETELY INSANE,
pOSSIBLY THIS IS A THING YOU'VE EXPERIENCED ALREADY,
i KNOW THAT AT LEAST ONE OF YOU, hAS EVEN LESS COMMON SENSE THEN ME,
aND DID NOT LEAVE ONCE YOU'D SEEN HIM,
aND THEN YOU DIED,
i GUESS IT'S TOO LATE FOR, pEOPLE LIKE YOU,
bUT FOR THE REST OF YOU,
hERE, kEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THIS,

[For a moment the screen switches over to video. There is a piece of paper held up to the camera. The paper has a drawing on it. The drawing looks like this: ]

[

]

[And then it returns to text]

sO HERE'S THE LAST WORD i THINK i WILL SAY,
oR TYPE, dEPENDING ON HOW LITERAL YOU ARE,
iF YOU SEE AN EIGHT FOOT TALL MONSTER,
wITH THE FACEPAINT AND EVERYTHING,
dO NOT STAY AND, cHAT WITH HIM,
hE WILL KILL YOU,
wHICH IS ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING,
yOU SHOULD AVOID HIM AT ALL COSTS,
hERE,
jUST SO THAT i AM, cERTAIN i AM BEING CLEAR, i WILL SPACE THIS OUT A LITTLE BIT,

yOU WILL BE KILLED, pROBABLY VERY SLOWLY, bY HIM,

sO GOOD LUCK, i GUESS, aLTHOUGH HOPEFULLY YOU WILL NOT NEED IT,
bECAUSE HE WILL HAVE DECIDED TO, fUCK OFF,

[If you have read all of this in an exasperated tone, congratulations, you get second place. If instead, you read it as yOU ARE THE DUMBEST FUCKING THINGS i'VE EVER SEEN, you are the winner!!!!]

((ooc credit to Hanshi for the drawing lkjsdf))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Wow, a private mission? If Willow knew about it she'd be conflicted between feeling grateful and insulted. No, wait, insulted is definitely not what she should be feeling in that case... this being a responsible person thing was just so hard.

She looks a bit sheepish at his sympathy but moves onto the actual topic.] Quick I can handle. I want to say we should find another solution from beating him into cooperation, but honestly... uh, I'm fresh out of those. Solutions were not handed out at breakfast today.

Mmm... I don't think there is any other way. Like I uh, said, it is his job to kill people, and he has been doing it for a, very long time. Getting him to stop would take, a more permanent solution.

[By permanent he means killing him... He just wants to kill the guy really badly okay? JUST ONCE??? )8]

[She is not at all unfamiliar with the necessity of killing things to stop them, and in fact she's almost perfunctory as she answers him.] But if he died he'd just come back, and, you know, healed. Plus probably madder and in better shape than if we didn't kill him.

All we can do is stay on top of him as best we can, because at this point I seriously doubt he is going to see the side of sunshine and goodness and decide to adopt a puppy and sponsor a child from Nicaragua.

[Oh man, look at all those human things he's going to just ignore]

We could always cripple him. Then he'd be easy uh, to keep an eye on. [...wow, he suggests that without even pausing to think about it. Troll culture is violent, have I mentioned]

[She is a little grossed out, almost, not quite disgusted, by the suggestion-- but she isn't about to discount it, either.]

I could hypothetically be okay with crippling, given the extenuating circumstances, but then we get to the part where I'm supposed to participate in the crippling, and I think the entire plan goes to shambles and looks of horror.

I could do it. It's not really that hard.

[...well] Well maybe it would be with him. Since he's huge. But it could be done easy enough with uh, a sharp enough blade. [This is a thing he has done before, can you tell]

Magical restraints shouldn't be a problem for me, at least, if we need to. It shouldn't even be too dark. [Things involving mind control, on the other hand... yeah, that's theoretically an option, but she's not even going to bring it up. That's toeing the line way too close for her comfort.]

Just, um, as long as you didn't mind me not watching. [If it's possible for there to be a wince in audio, there is here.] I know that's probably weak and shameful, but all of my terrible acts are moments of impulse.

[~~And if that isn't foreshadowing...~~]

[Little pause. No, not weak, just... odd. Then again, his time was usually taken up by soldiers' work before he came here, so maybe he's out of touch on what turns the stomach of regular people these days]

That's fine. Uh... possibly if we can get him tied down, with... normal restraints you won't even, have to be in the room. [Reassuring???? He's trying anyway]

No, this is too important-- me and my weak stomach can deal. [And if she sounds a little glum about it, well...]

[Then her voice firms.] If this is something that would work, then I'm down for whatever you need me to do. I'll adjust.

[Hmm... Willow you really don't have to... hhhhhhhhhh oh he recognizes that second tone. Sighs a little]

The restraints, will be fine... as long as you are not straining yourself...! [...wait no. Something else] Uh... also, do you, know where I can find a good weapon...? None of uh... mine came with me... [And it'll definitely take a good blade, like he said. Plus, getting the Highblood restrained in the first place would be way easier if he had a reliable weapon to help]

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<small[yeah>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<small[Yeah this is resolve face. It's a good thing you acquiesced.]</small>

Oh-- no, I'm sorry. If I conjured you anything it wouldn't last long, either, so that's no good. I'll keep an eye out? What's your, uh, specibus? I think that's the right question.

My... [.....................specibus?]

My what?

... I thought that was a troll thing?

With the programming and the cards?

[...I think it's just a modern troll thing. I may be wrong though... Welp, this canon is ridiculous oh wwell LSKJDFL There is another pause on his end as he tries to figure out... if this is just a thing that she's putting in human terms that he doesn't get or what. But no, specibus sounds like a troll word. Maybe something some scientist was working on somewhere. He doesn't know]

Uh... I don't think I've ever, heard of it? It has something to do with, weapons I guess?

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