1 ✘ voice

[toomanly]

Something tells me that my world’s not actually been destroyed. Because my world? It’s pretty destructo-proof. We’ve proven that. A couple times, actually. We’re like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we come right back. And some letter saying that you saved me from the big bad--

[ a beat ] Hold on. Who are you supposed to be, anyway? You and your little letter with your little words. Because if you’re not Buffy then i’ve gotta wonder if you’re trying to be her and i’m not sure she’s ever been too big on imitation or flattery being the highest art of anything.

And anyway, if my world had been destroyed, you would’ve saved Buffy, not me. Probably Will, too. I’m not usually the guy that gets picked for these sort of things -- it’s like how I always picked last for dodgeball and put on the bench. I’d probably get picked last for who gets to live in the brand new world order, too.

So, uh, you maybe wanna tell me what’s actually going on? ‘Cause the fake letter really isn’t gonna cut it.

Comments

[guiltapalooza]

I'm just going to save you guys from yourselves now.

Eridan, this is Xander. You can think of him like my moirail because that comparison could not possibly be more apt.

Xander, moirails just means, like, soulmate friends! You take care of me, and I take care of you, like that. [Trying to be perky here but actually kinda nervous.] And yeah he's male and an alien, and please don't give me the look that I gave you when you said you were dating Anya, because that was really bitchy of me and you are so are not bitchy. Right?

[toomanly]

[ You're so getting that look right about now because what is this, Willow. ]

And I think I missed something right around the part where you said you liked girls. You know. Girls? Those human creatures that don't have gills and aren't sea dwelling?

[guiltapalooza]

I can't help who I fall for, Xander! You better not turn this into a Buffy and Angel thing, because I don't think I could-- could--

I've been all alone here, okay? [Trying to breathe and calm herself down and not be defensive.] And it wasn't your fault, but I'm allowed to make my own choices, and you weren't here for me to talk to about it. So you've missed a... a lot.

[toomanly]

I never said you couldn't make your own choices, Will. Just that your choices are kinda.. flip-floppy. Your choices are like a pancake and I can't keep track of which side i'm supposed to be on. Or if I should just be the syrup and wait on the table with the butter and see what happens.

[ Uh-huh... ] .... I'm sorry you were here all by yourself. Would've come sooner if I knew, but it's not like the dimensional leaders of the galaxies usually fill me in on these kind of things.

[guiltapalooza]

I said it wasn't your fault, and I know I'm flip-floppy! You think I know what side I'm on? It wasn't like I woke up and one morning and thought, oh, today I'll flip the lesbian switch, that won't make me confused about anything.

I just don't want this to be a problem between us. I'm trying to... I'm trying. [She crumbles, because trying to be a good person after her time as Darth Rosenberg was a full time, draining, and guilt-riddling occupation.]

[toomanly]

It's not gonna be a problem between us, whichever way you want to flip your switch is fine with me. I don't care if it's on or off, or if you turn on your night light instead. You should know that, Will.

It's just.. a surprise, that's all. [ Sigh, he doesn't want to see Will fall apart, which is why he's partially sucking it up here and trying to be a big boy. But it's difficult because he's still boggled by most of this. ]

[guiltapalooza]

... I know, it's a lot to take in. [She really does know that, because wow, if it was hard for him it'd been weirder for her, going through it.]

I know you just got here, and I don't mean to push you. I was going to tell you, um, sometime when it wasn't right then?

[toomanly]

Bad timing, I got it. All of this is just... a whole lot of bad timing. Though i'm not exactly sure there was a time that would've been all that good, either.

We'll-- I'll figure it out, Will. It's not a problem, okay? Whatever makes you happy.

[guiltapalooza]

Do we ever get good timing? [she asks, trying to joke but overwhelmed with affection for him.]

I think we have the bad timing record.

[toomanly]

If we've got the record for bad timing, does that mean we're always in last place? [ Give him a second to think about that one.

... okay, done. ] Pretty sure we can just forget about the timing. Too complicated.

[guiltapalooza]

Yeah, too complicated, [she says in relieved agreement.]

But we've gone through worse on the relationship front. At least I'm being open about it! [Not that she'd ever hold it against Buffy that she'd kept the situation with Spike to herself, but it had hurt and it had caused problems, Willow couldn't deny.]

This is like... small potatoes, comparatively. We're not even destined to kill each other or anything.

[toomanly]

Troll, vampire. It's like comparing... Tribbles and Ewok's. [ Uh. Or Something. ] Makes it even better when you can keep that pesky destiny business from getting in the way. Especially if he isn't trying to kill you, or... worship you as his Goddess or something.

And hey, I like knowing sooner rather than later. No hiding things -- [ Have a finger waggle! ] -- not even here.

[guiltapalooza]

No killing and no worshiping, I promise. Not even a hint of destiny.

[Oh Xander, don't even mock scold her about hiding things, now she looks embarrassed and awkward and is doing badly at containing it.] I am! --Not hiding things! See, this is me telling you. I just... got used to not having anyone to tell, so I'm playing catch up. But I will catch you up!

[wwaterboy]

hes your moirail?
i thought that might be it
im sorry wwill
i didnt givve a vvery good impression i think

[guiltapalooza]

It's okay. We'll figure this out.

We'll figure it out and we'll all be friends, and it'll be hunky-dory, and all we'll have to worry about is not getting maimed by the tower monsters. You don't have to be so defensive, okay? [Even though she is...] I'm not going to let someone else's opinion turn me away from you.

[wwaterboy]

okay yeah
but hes your moirail so if he doesnt like me it could be a problem
but ill make him like me if i can wwill
i wwouldnt mind bein his friend if hell havve me

[guiltapalooza]

There won't be a problem, Xander's just surprised. I told you that I didn't think I'd ever, you know, with a man again, remember? And he was there through Tara and everything, so... It's a lot for him to take in.

But he wouldn't be my bestest forever bud if he didn't just want me to happy, which he does, and I am! So you don't need to worry about it, I promise.

[wwaterboy]

yeah i remember
and i might havve possibly assumed hed havve an issue wwhat wwith me not bein human and bein a sea dwwelling troll and all

[guiltapalooza]

He might, but he'll get used to it. He said so himself.

... And if Feferi ever shows up, we'll figure that out, too. Because I would really like to meet her, the one that's yours.

[wwaterboy]

wwell hes just gonna havve to because im not givvin you up wwithout a fight
youre wway too wwonderful

fef wwill lovve you i guarantee it

[guiltapalooza]

No fighting necessary! I'm already yours, you goof. Nothing to give up.

I hope so. She's really important to you, so I want to get to know her. I want to share the important things with you.

[wwaterboy]

i didnt mean actual fighting!

i knoww so
and im glad that your moirail is here
because you need him and i wwant to share those things wwith you too

[guiltapalooza]

I know that! Sorry, I think text is not really the medium for me. I was trying to be reassuring.

See, so, it'll all be fine. You're so worth any problems that come up. Because I do need Xander, but I need you, too.

[wwaterboy]

right so evverythins fine and all is wwell for once

[guiltapalooza]

And you really think that, right? Not just saying that to make me happy?