animus_network | [002 ★ text ★ crazy backdated to before the moving event]

Someone told me that all of the trolls are having trouble sleeping here. I think I can help.

I've made sleep satchets before, these little things that you put under your pillow and guarantee pleasant dreams for a couple months before they run out. The problem is that I only came with so many spell ingredients in my trunk, so unless I can find a way to replace some of this stuff, I can't make these forever.

Not that asking this question will necessarily result in anything resembling the truth, but: does anyone need one more than anyone else?

Asking all this out of the goodness of my heart and preferential treatment, I promise.

[filtered from wwaterboy]

And now to the other part of this post. Also to trolls, sorry. If someone could explain how this matesprit thing actually compares with the human concept of romance, that would be seriously of the good, because I don't know what I'm doing here and I think I need more than the ten second summary if I am going to be doing this.

Which, let me repeat, since I don't know what I'm doing, no judging or yelling at me! I will yell back. That is so not what I need right now. I'm trying to do the right thing and honor my feelings and not stay all hung up on people that have died, which is difficult! But I've never done this "oh, and he also hatesexes someone regularly, but that's not cheating" concept before, and I want to get it right.

It seems bitchy to ask him to explain this stuff to me himself, so... advice. Please? And if you could honor the incredibly obvious filter, that would be great. Don't make me go hacker on you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

uH,
wELL i WOULDN'T, cALL IT A TRUST ISSUE, i GUESS,
jUST, nECESSARY CAUTION,
tROLL VS TROLL IS, dEFINITELY A THING THAT HAPPENS A LOT,
wE ARE, pROBABLY OUR OWN WORST ENEMY,
wHICH IS SOMETHING i'M HOPING WILL CHANGE,
eVENTUALLY,

[After the revolution... Hmm, he has so many plans and barely any time to do them in. lksjdflkj being a lowblood sucks why is he thinking about this. Okay move along]

yES, cOMMUNICATION IS DEFINITELY, kEY,
bUT PROBABLY YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL SKEEVY,
sINCE i IMAGINE YOU TWO WILL HAVE, mORE ISSUES TO WORK THROUGH,
tHEN MOST,
aND IT IS GOOD TO BE PREPARED,

[...well that's really... not at all optimistic of you there, Summoner. Good job]

tHAT'S, okAY,
iT SOUNDS LIKE, mAYBE, a THING THAT i DO NOT REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND, aNYWAY,
pEOPLE STRUGGLE ENOUGH WITH SERENDIPITY ON ALTERNIA,
tHAT IGNORING HALF OF EVERYONE SEEMS LIKE, uH, bAD LUCK AT BEST,

yES, i GUESS,
aS LONG AS YOU ARE WITH HIM, aND, uH, oNLY HIM,
tHEN IT PROBABLY, wON'T MATTER TOO MUCH, tO HIM,

I hope it changes, too. You shouldn't have to live like that-- none of you.

[It might not be optimistic, but Willow appreciates the honesty.] I'll try to not feel skeevy. I want to be honest with him, but I don't want to hurt him, you know? That's the opposite of what I want. And throwing all of my issues at him at once just seems mean. I don't even know how serious I am yet!

I can see what you mean about ignoring half of everyone, but humans tend not to think of it that way. It can be kinda nice, actually, to have a friend that you know would never see you romantically. It's safe and uncomplicated.

I hope so. It would be him and only him. There was someone at home that I was kind of interested in, but she was... I don't know. It's all so complicated.

[...hm. He doesn't think the first bit needs responding to. If she knows him at all, she'll know he's agreeing wholeheartedly if perhaps with a grim sort of determination]

yOU DON'T,
hAVE YOU, tOLD HIM YOU'RE FLUSHED FOR HIM, yET,
tHAT MAY BE A GOOD THING TO, fIGURE OUT FIRST IF NOT,

i GUESS, i WILL TAKE YOUR WORD, fOR IT,
sINCE i THINK PERSONALLY, tHAT WOULD FEEL THE, oPPOSITE OF SAFE, tO ME,

[For reasons mentioned previously...]

dO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO,
iF SHE ENDED UP HERE,

I've told him I'm thinking about it, and that I don't really know what I'm doing, and it's pretty obvious that he's interested. But he said he was willing to wait for me to figure it out. He didn't even say that like he was just saying it to say it, but like he really meant it, too, which is just... wow. Major wow.

There's just a lot of expectations with romance. Not that it isn't great, but it does get complicated.

If Kennedy ended up here? I don't know. She was there for me when I was going through something really hard, but... I don't think of her and my heart flutters. I was so lost in grieving Tara when we met that I feel like how I think of her is all wrapped up in that.