[002 ★ text ★ crazy backdated to before the moving event]

[guiltapalooza]

Someone told me that all of the trolls are having trouble sleeping here. I think I can help.

I've made sleep satchets before, these little things that you put under your pillow and guarantee pleasant dreams for a couple months before they run out. The problem is that I only came with so many spell ingredients in my trunk, so unless I can find a way to replace some of this stuff, I can't make these forever.

Not that asking this question will necessarily result in anything resembling the truth, but: does anyone need one more than anyone else?

Asking all this out of the goodness of my heart and preferential treatment, I promise.


[filtered from wwaterboy]

And now to the other part of this post. Also to trolls, sorry. If someone could explain how this matesprit thing actually compares with the human concept of romance, that would be seriously of the good, because I don't know what I'm doing here and I think I need more than the ten second summary if I am going to be doing this.

Which, let me repeat, since I don't know what I'm doing, no judging or yelling at me! I will yell back. That is so not what I need right now. I'm trying to do the right thing and honor my feelings and not stay all hung up on people that have died, which is difficult! But I've never done this "oh, and he also hatesexes someone regularly, but that's not cheating" concept before, and I want to get it right.

It seems bitchy to ask him to explain this stuff to me himself, so... advice. Please? And if you could honor the incredibly obvious filter, that would be great. Don't make me go hacker on you.

Comments

[locked]

[verymuchalive]

where are you?
im not exactly an expert in this stuff but i might be able to help explain things a little

[locked]

[guiltapalooza]

That would be really appreciated. I was hoping you'd answer.

I'm in the study room level-- eighteen I think?

[locked]

[verymuchalive]

im on my way

[action]

[guiltapalooza]

[She's sitting at a study table in plain view of the staircase when Aradia gets up there. Willow is the type to wear the heart on her sleeve, and it's plain now: unsure, conflicted, but mostly earnest.]

Hi, [she says, with wide, vulnerable eyes.] I am ready to learn the ways of troll romance. School me. School is in session.

[lockeeeed]

[cancerousnubs]

AND JUST WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
YOU EXPECT US TO TRUST SOME HUMAN "MAGIC" SPELL SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU SUDDENLY KNOW ABOUT OUR SLEEPING HABITS?
WHO SAYS THEY'LL EVEN WORK, OR THAT WE EVEN WANT IT.

[And here's the part that was locked.]

...ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DATING OR CONSIDERING DATING SOMEONE OF ANOTHER SPECIES?

[lockeeeed]

[guiltapalooza]

[Oh gosh that's a lot of caps. Okay, she's ready, she can justify herself.] My name is Willow, and geez, if you don't want pleasant dreams you can just say so. I'm not going to Mission Impossible into your room and sneak a sleep satchel under your pillow. I just thought I'd offer. Magic is usually pretty nondiscriminatory across races (at least my magic) so I don't see why it wouldn't work.

As for the species thing, look, it's not that big a deal for me. Okay, it's weird and frankly sometimes a little freaky, but honestly the whole "wow, I guess I'm still attracted to men" thing is way freakier. Some of my best friends have dated other species and been very happy with them, so you better leave off the judging, buster, cause no one judges my friends and gets out of a stern lecture on it.

My point is, you guys are so not the weirdest or least human thing I have ever had a polite conversation with, and I managed that just fine. I should be able to do this, too, if I want.

[lockeeeed]

[cancerousnubs]

[Holy shit hold the ropes, this lady's got a lot to say and frankly, Karkat is surprised. So she's perfectly okay with dating trolls, eh..? The would-be leader remembers a particular human who wasn't so accomodating, and perhaps he assumed they'd all be like that. (Stop thinking about that derpy piece of shit, asshole.)]

I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A WEEK AND I'M JUST FINE.
IF THE OTHERS COME CRAWLING TO YOU FOR YOUR MIRACLE SLEEP AID, I DON'T CARE. LET THEM.
MAYBE THEY DO NEED IT.
NO DOUBT THEIR NIGHTMARES ARE TEARING THEM APART BY NOW.

SHEESH, DON'T GET SO FUCKING DEFENSIVE.
DON'T ASSUME I'M GOING TO LAY DOWN THE MIGHTY JUDGE HAMMER ON YOU FOR IT.
I WAS JUST ASKING BECAUSE I WAS CURIOUS.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW MORE, IN FACT.
MAYBE I CAN HELP IF YOU CAN PULL OUT OF YOUR TL;DR SHELL FOR FIVE SECONDS.

[lockeeeed]

[guiltapalooza]

[If there's going to be anyone that remains completely unphased at dating non-humans, it's Willow. She'd supported Buffy all through dating Angel and then Spike, not to mention Xander with Anya, and she hadn't even liked Anya originally. This is all just coming a lot for her at once, so yeah, the defensive is kicked up a notch.]

You haven't slept in a week?? That can't be healthy. Are you sure you don't want to just try it out and see if you like it? You can always give it back. [Whoops, doesn't even know your name and she's worried about you.]

Oh. Sorry. I guess I'm feeling really off kilter cause usually my friends would be here and I could talk this out with them, but they're... not. So, thank you for the lack of mighty judge hammer, and intent to help.

What do you want to know? Cause personally my first question is if I have to get his kismesis a belated Christmas present.

[Locked]

[thekidsare0kay]

per2onally ii wa2 lucky enough two get a recuperacoon, 2o ii've got enough 2opor two la2t me for a whiile, but mo2t of u2 aren't a2 lucky.
there'2 one guy ii thiink probably need2 one of tho2e thiing2 more than mo2t. but doe2 iit really work?
anyway, no offen2e, but why would you wa2te all tho2e iingrediient2 on a bunch of troll2 you don't even know?
and on that 2ubject, who'2 been redfliirtiing a human thii2 tiime?
iif you 2ay eriidan ii am goiing two bu2t my iinte2tiinal tract wiith the force of my laughter.

[Locked]

[guiltapalooza]

I've never had a problem having my magic affect non-humans before, so it should, and it works on me just fine. It couldn't hurt, anyway; explicitly positive forces in these satchels, no negative intent at all.

I know it's like a troll thing not to do random acts of kindness, but where I'm from it's very much a human thing. I like to help out. So who should I be giving these to?

Actually, it is Eridan, but I'm going to guess from the laugh track response that you're talking about the other one. He was a jerk when I talked to him. The one with the redflirting is on the other end of the hemospectrum, and okay, he's pretty much a sweetie. [She refuses to use words like highblood and lowblood on principle.]

[Locked]

[thekidsare0kay]

do people alway2 wake up?
not 2ayiing you'd do iit on purpo2e, ii'm 2ure you're a niice whatever gender you're 2uppo2ed two be.
do you know the p2iioniic?
fuck, ii knew iit.
look, ii don't care what end of the hemo2pectrum he thiink2 he'2 on, ii guarantee he'2 a de2perate tool who'd hiit on anythiing wiith a pul2e.
how long diid iit take before he wa2 a2kiing you iif you piitiied hiim and 2ugge2ted you go on a date?

[Locked] 1/2

[guiltapalooza]

No, no, they always wake up! You don't have to worry about that. It doesn't affect your sleep schedule or anything else, it just means that when you are asleep you don't have nightmares. But no, I haven't met him.

Hey, that's my possibly maybe future boyfriend you're talking about! For your information, there was no asking, but if anyone came onto anyone, it was me. I am perfectly capable of shoving off desperate tools as well as the next girl.

[Locked]

[guiltapalooza]

Wait a second. [Psionics, insulting Eridan, types in yellow and he'd called him a goldblood...]

You must be... What is Sol actually short for?

filter

[uprisings]

[Here Willow. Have someone who's not thirteen lskjdf Calmly ignores the beginning part of this. There are def other trolls who need that more then him, yep yep yep. Also ignoring the part where he thinks it's weird for a troll to be romantically interested in a human. To each their own and all that]

pOSSIBLY IT WOULD BE, uH, aN EASIER THING TO COMPARE,
iF YOU EXPLAINED HOW HUMAN ROMANCE WORKED, aS WELL,
eSPECIALLY SINCE, hE WILL PROBABLY ALSO WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE EXPECTING, aT SOME POINT,
iF YOU DECIDE TO CONTINUE,

filter

[guiltapalooza]

[Oh he's just going to have one slid under his door later because she just assumed he'd get one. B)

But back to the actual conversation--] You have a point, I just don't know where to start. It all seems so obvious to me. I told you when we met that we don't do the quadrant thing-- we don't put so many labels on our relationships. It's a lot more fluid.

filter

[uprisings]

hEH, yES,
oUR QUADRANTS ARE, uH, oBVIOUS FOR US TOO,
sO MAYBE, sTART SIMPLE,
uH, tHE MOST OBVIOUS THINGS FIRST,
aND WE CAN, wORK FROM THERE,
fOR INSTANCE, i GUESS i'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY "more fluid",
oR HOW YOU CAN, hAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT A LABEL ON IT,

filter

[guiltapalooza]

Okay, simple first. There's basically three types of positive relationships: friends, family, and your significant other. You can have as many friends as you want, but there's usually a couple that you're a lot closer to than anyone else. Family are the people you're born into and grow up with. Significant other is boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and so on.

The tricky part is that these aren't hard and fast rules. Your mom can be your best friend, your best friend could become your boyfriend, you can be adopted into a family that you aren't blood related to. It can get pretty murky. Even when I say things like "humans aren't into hatesex" or "we only have one significant other at a time", that's not true for everyone. Some people have multiple boyfriends and girlfriends and they're all okay with that. It's not the norm, but it happens.

So this whole, we have four quadrants and there's one person in each quadrant and they have names and rules and labels, thing... it's kinda funky from my perspective.

Locked

[grimauxilatrix]

You Know Of Magic That Could Aid In Sleeping
Ive Never Heard Of Such A Thing Nor Knew that Magic Could

I Suggest You Speak To Karkat About Matters Involving Romance
Although If You So Need I Will Explain
Also If I May Ask Who Are You Attempting To Be Red With

Locked

[guiltapalooza]

My magic can do whatever I want it to, as long as I'm willing to deal with the consequences. Which in this case are minimal and just me running out of supplies. Did you want a sleep aid thing?

Who's Karkat? If I've run into them I haven't gotten their name.

It's the Eridan that most people seem to be less familiar with. The one that isn't a racist asshole-- not that I've talked to him that much, but hoo boy, is that a reputation that spreads fast.

Locked

[grimauxilatrix]

If Your Magic Was That All Encompassing I Believe You Would Have Left The Tower By Now
I Will Not Go As Far As To Doubt Your Abilities But I Am Wary Of Them
I Have Been Here Many Months And Have Grown Accustomed To The Night Terrors
That Is Not To Say I Would Not Like Relief From Them But I May Want To See How This Magic Works First

Karkat Is The One Who Types In Gray Capital Letters And Is Prone To Swearing
There Is Also A Katkat Who Types In Blue And Uses The Number Eight But Do Not Confuse Him With Vriska

Oh
Low Blooded Eridan Then
I Have Spoken With Him Briefly
Does He Believe In Magic
High Blooded Eridan Does Not Even When Given Magic Wands
He Preferred To Call Them Science Wands

Locked -- i heard you wanted a tl;dr off

[guiltapalooza]

I thought I'd have left the tower, too, cause teleporting is not beyond me, but no dice. And after I heard that story of someone trying to fly away and dropping like a stone, complete with splat, I don't want to try that, either.

It's okay, I understand being wary. There just isn't a whole lot to show about this. Making them is a pretty un-dramatic process; sometimes magic is all about the flash and bang, and sometimes it isn't. But I can tell you how they work?

Oh, he did respond! The gray one. He does seem like he wants to help. He also said he hasn't slept in like a week, so I'm trying to sell him on my sleep aid thing, too.

He didn't at first but after I gave him a demonstration he seemed to believe me alright. He's pretty interested in it, actually. Wait a second. Science wands?? For real?

filtered

[orphans]

[basically, what the fuck.]

WWho are the trolls?

filtered

[guiltapalooza]

I think I need to buy a noun. Or a verb.

Which trolls?

filtered

[orphans]

All of wwhom you refer to. The twwo that wwould initially perplex you wwith their "hatesexing", and the one allegedly feeling flushed for you.

filtered

[guiltapalooza]

It's more the concept that perplexes me than a certain pair in particular. I think I'm pretty cleared up on that now, though. I just need some time to adjust.

And what's alleged about this flushed? [Willow's a little oversensitive about her relationships, especially when she's uncertain of them. And by a little I mean a lot.]