[004 ★ text]

[guiltapalooza]

You know what, I am so sick of this. Completely sick of this!! And look at me, repeating myself and using multiple exclamation points (two!) like a rebel. Because I am a rebel!

I'm tired of all these embarrassing personal incidents. When they aren't embarrassing, they're deeply horrifying and disturbing. I just want regular old test taking anxiety again! I want worrying about whether Anya is going to ask Giles if he has a new orgasm friend yet in public! And all that demon stuff, even that was familiar.

But here it's like, oh, here's that troll kid I'm friends with and he got his arm torn off. Here's me turning myself into a troll and going creepy stalker over Aradia. (Which by the way, oh Goddess am I sorry for and eternally mortified about.) Or here's me picking up the bloody scraps of the clothes of the double of someone I'm friends with!

And don't tell me I'm using too many of's there, I told you I'm a rebel today! I just want my test taking anxiety back, darn it. I'd even take worrying over when I'm going back to college, and that was a lot of worrying.

... Okay, whining done. End whining. In other news, who's still having wacky collar-induced sickness and power-tampering shenanigans? Cause frankly I'm finding this really worrying and I want to get to the bottom of this.

Comments

surprise 2/2

[guiltapalooza]

... Also, I'm not really sure what I should be answering here, but if you were serious about any of those questions, I can answer them.

Re: surprise 2/2

[chronomancer]

...im
fine
though
about the questions
i think its okay if you answwer them here
though i dont think theyll come back to answwer to you about it
one a us is
a bit upset about the netwwork shenanigans

[guiltapalooza]

I could see that. But I'm glad you're okay.

Alright, questions, let's see. Including some non-questions that I thought should be addressed.

1. I really am okay, I swear!

2. I ate one of those Valentine's chocolates and decided Aradia and I were platonically meant to be, and turned myself into a troll so we could be proper sisters. Don't ask how that logic was supposed to work, because as far as I can tell, it didn't. But I'm back to my old human self now and would be very happy to never ever repeat that incident.

3. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up again, I just-- nevermind. It's not a thing, ever again. I swear.

4. Sometimes I kinda need to be hard on myself, but thanks, I appreciate the sentiment.

5. Rebelling against my own self-image? I guess? Who knows, my words sorta get away from me sometimes. A lot of times.

6. ... Still confused about anything?

[chronomancer]

...been a busy feww days
im sure
itll all make sense once its ovver
hopefully

[guiltapalooza]

You have more faith than me. I thought standard operating procedure was to go from one crisis to the next.

... Sorry, I don't want to be Debbie Downer, I just wouldn't plan on getting a rest.

[chronomancer]

not really
but panickin about things doesnt help
an im used to dealin wwith paradox space
stuff makes sense
evventually
it just doesnt mean youll like how it makes sense

[guiltapalooza]

I'm not panicking. Do I seem like I'm panicking? I've just been trying to be all capable adult and I had a lot of unhappy built up, but I think I've gotten it out now.

I know the world doesn't stop for you to get your act together no matter how much it doesn't make sense or what else you had to deal with this week. But sometimes I just need to whine about it.

[chronomancer]

no i mean
you said i had more faith than you in this
its not faith
its just
that sinkin feelin that things are about to go from wworse to fucked
but hey
at least wwere not dead

[guiltapalooza]

Oh! Well, you're always so glum about it. Just because we're going to inevitably get f-- uh, screwed... doesn't mean you can't appreciate what you have right now.

Sure we're not dead, but we have more going for us than just that.

[chronomancer]

yeah but im doomed
not being dead is Literally the one thing i havve goin for me right noww
though the alpha might
agree wwith you there
im sorry if im a dowwner

[guiltapalooza]

No, I'd be a total wreck if I were in your position, don't worry about that. I'm just sorry.

Once you die, does the alpha get your memories, or...?

[chronomancer]

not really
usually he has to rummage the corpses to get anythin useful
beyond pooled experience an multitaskin

[guiltapalooza]

That's awful. I wish I could do something that wasn't just sit here and say it's awful, but I'm guessing that I can't. I've never thought of time powers as being this terrible before.

[chronomancer]

yeah just
dont wworry
im used to it by noww
its my thing after all

[guiltapalooza]

It shouldn't have to be your thing, so you're probably stuck with me worrying.

But I don't want to use up your time making you talk about all this depressing stuff. Maybe I could distract you a little?

[chronomancer]

...tell you a secret?
i used to complain a lot
but
in perspectivve
i might suck a lot at this
but at least none a the others had to do it
so im kind a glad its my thing
i knoww i can handle it

...wwhy
do i get the feelin that tellin you
you dont havve to if you dont wwant to
is gonna get me in trouble?

[guiltapalooza]

Don't be a goose, it won't get you in trouble. You can say no, I just thought I'd offer. As a friend.

Anyway, you're a good guy, you know that? You might think you suck at it, but the fact that you do it at all says enough in my opinion. You're allowed some complaining about how craptastic your lot is.

[chronomancer]

goose?
im sorry wwilloww
it wwas a joke

i guess
i alwways figure i wwill havve time to complain
once im done
heh

[guiltapalooza]

Oh. Well now I'm sorry. I'm trying to be less pushy, cause sometimes you look a little. Overwhelmed. Also a goose is an exceedingly silly animal.

Piffle, complaining can happen anywhere and anywhen. I say go for it.

[chronomancer]

oh
oh wwilloww
its okay
dont
please dont wworry about me
youre fine just the wway you are
honest

[guiltapalooza]

Do you mean that? Cause it's okay if I'm doing something wrong. I have a lot of experience with doing things wrong, and most of the time it's not the end of the world, so that's okay.

You just always seem like you're dealing with a lot, so I don't want to add to it. (Which means, yes, you are stuck with me worrying about you. Absolutely stuck.)

[chronomancer]

youre not doin anythin wwrong
i promise
im just
not the most social troll out there okay
youre fine the wway you are

[guiltapalooza]

You're fine the way you are, too. But thank you. You just seem like you could use someone that's on your side.

[chronomancer]

i do
havve someone by my side
it wwill be alright

[guiltapalooza]

Would it be nosy if I asked who it was?