animus_network | [004 ★ text]

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[004 ★ text]

You know what, I am so sick of this. Completely sick of this!! And look at me, repeating myself and using multiple exclamation points (two!) like a rebel. Because I am a rebel!

I'm tired of all these embarrassing personal incidents. When they aren't embarrassing, they're deeply horrifying and disturbing. I just want regular old test taking anxiety again! I want worrying about whether Anya is going to ask Giles if he has a new orgasm friend yet in public! And all that demon stuff, even that was familiar.

But here it's like, oh, here's that troll kid I'm friends with and he got his arm torn off. Here's me turning myself into a troll and going creepy stalker over Aradia. (Which by the way, oh Goddess am I sorry for and eternally mortified about.) Or here's me picking up the bloody scraps of the clothes of the double of someone I'm friends with!

And don't tell me I'm using too many of's there, I told you I'm a rebel today! I just want my test taking anxiety back, darn it. I'd even take worrying over when I'm going back to college, and that was a lot of worrying.

... Okay, whining done. End whining. In other news, who's still having wacky collar-induced sickness and power-tampering shenanigans? Cause frankly I'm finding this really worrying and I want to get to the bottom of this.

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No letting go will be necessary, I promise. Don't give it a thought.

I am one stubborn lady and you're just stuck with me, whatever happens. It's not conditional.

wwere stuck on each other like limpets then!

Or barnacles. Also an attractive analogy, yet still sea-related.

yeah fuckin barnacles is the perfect analogy
i approvve

Barnacles it is.

So if I invite you to a party Aradia and I are throwing, you're going to come, right? As my barnacle it wouldn't be right if you weren't there.

a party wwith the luminesce
uh sure i wwouldnt miss it especially as your barnacle
wwhat kind a party?

Pretty sure she'd be happy if you just called her Aradia, since she isn't really the Empress where she's from.

A friendship affirmation party! We were talking about how sometimes you need to take time out and do friend things instead of latest-horrifying-crisis things. So we're gonna invite lots of people.

i knoww she told me to call her aradia
but i dont knoww if i reely can it makes me nervvous

oh
wwell that sounds like fun yeah
wwho else is comin?

Don't be nervous! Even if she were the Empress, you're worth just as much as her. More, to me. Maybe try to think of her as a different person entirely?

Whoever I can rope into it, probably. So Buffy and Xander and Dawn, and both Solluxes, and Link will probably come, too. Oh, and I told other you to come and to bring his Feferi. The one here is his moirail, and even though she seemed a little crazy I thought I should give her another chance.

yeah ivve been tryin but i dont knoww its hard
its like a mental block i just see a rustblood and it freaks me out
but its okay wwill really ill push through it

wwait buffy's here?
i havvent met her oh my cod does she like me?

that fakey fake fef is reel fuckin crazy wwill

I know you will, it's okay. I know how strong you are. I'm just glad you don't get that reaction around me, I guess cause I'm a wacky alien?

She's here but I haven't seen her since she arrived. I didn't get a chance to tell her about you because she was still adjusting to the tower and everything, so I... don't know if she's still around. I'm hoping. But I'm sure she'd like you, she's a really good friend.

Oh, and I need to tell you. I haven't told Dawn about us yet, either, but that's because she's from before Tara died, and they were really close, and if I tell her about you I have to tell her about her, and. I don't know if I can do that on my own. I think I need to recruit Xander. But I'm not trying to hide you, I promise! Please don't think that.

She seemed that way to me, too, but. Well. He's going to be around, and that's what moirails are for, right? Also I've been thinking of putting an anti-violence ward around whatever room we use for the party, just temporarily. It'd make me feel better.

wwell, yeah, you're not a highblood wwill youre an alien and so its completely different
but its different wwith aradia i mean her face is on our money its just wweird to be hanging around wwith her
but i know shes your friend i mean im not sayin i wwont do it

i hope shes still around for your sake...
if she is ill do my best to make sure she likes me
and dawwn too
its okay if you dont wwant to tell her yet im not offended or anyfin
i get that its pretty complicated especially wwhen you factor in time travvel

i guess
you can do that?

When you put it that way... Yeah, if I met the president I'd probably flip my lid, too. Way more embarrassing than you just not wanting to call her by name. You don't have to push yourself if you're not comfortable just because she's my friend! I appreciate it, but I know you'll figure it out on your own.

Yeah, me too. And really, don't worry about that. Dawn's kind of young so she might have a problem seeing me with anyone else, but Buffy will be fine. We've been through a lot in terms of each other's relationships. She'll love you without you having to do anything. But thanks for not being offended.

I haven't done it before, but I know the theory and I've seen instructions for it. It's possible. I probably just want to practice a few times before I do it for real. Do you think it's a good idea?

but i wwant to be friends wwith your friends and not make things awwkwward i mean youre throwwin this party and i wwant to be there so ill go and make it wwork
sometimes youvve got to push yourself for the sake a something thats important

i wwouldnt be offended by somethin like that relationships are privvate things

i think you should put it on the wwhole fuckin towwer!
howw does it wwork?

If that's what you want to do, I'm behind you all the way. And it really does mean a lot to me that you want to be friends with my friends. Just... so you know.

They are, but being hidden isn't a lot of fun, either. We're not exactly the most normal couple that's ever coupled. It might take some explaining.

Putting it on the whole tower sounds like a one way trip into experimentation land, if you get my drift. Honestly I'm not sure it'll like it all that much if I do it on one room. This building just has a, I don't know how to put it, a cold feeling to it. As for how it works... there's a few options. I could make it so violence is physically impossible, or you automatically leave if you get violent thoughts, or you just never want to. Varying degrees of difficulty and mental intrusion.

i knoww
and if i had any friends id wwant them to like you too
but it can wwait if its too awwkwward right noww or something im just sayin if you need time and arent ready its fine

wwoww
just wwhen i think i havve grasped the limits a your powwer you come up wwith somethin more terrifying

I'll ask Xander what he thinks about it. I don't like keeping things from her, but I'm not sure I want to tell her, either. You're like the one thing I never have to worry about.

That's pretty much how I feel, to be honest. But it's not really limitless -- I still have to obey the laws of the universe, and some things I'm just not that great at. Plus you saw the addiction problem. So mostly I try to stay away from anything like warding an entire building if I can, anyway, and definitely anything even vaguely mind control-y. Thinking of doing that again gives me the major skeevies.

wwait, are you thinkin a not tellin her evver?

right wwell no skeevvies allowwed, so you can just wward the party
wwhat happens if vviolence is physically impossible?
ii dont wwant to havve to leavve if i wwant to punch sol...

No, no, I mean. I have to, don't I? Pretending it never happened is too hard. I just might make Xander stand there awkwardly for emotional support while I do it.

It's all or nothing, sorry. Trying to create a loophole for someone would make it too unstable, and my control isn't good enough for that. It'd be like trying to keep a hole in your sock from getting larger through will alone. So you'd have to do your punching outside if I put one up.

it just seems to me that shell probably figure it out and you dont wwant that to happen

but at least i wwont LEAVVE wwithout meanin to right?
i think thats a better option

I can't say you're wrong there. Me and secrets do not have a good history. It's not you I don't want to tell her about, anyway, it's Tara. I'm worried I'll start crying and won't be able to stop, and I've been doing so good lately.

Oh, no, I was just listing examples. I'll probably make it so you'd just... stop, like none of the hits would land. Simpler is better.

but shell wwonder wwhy wwere bein real affectionate in public and then think you wwere cheatin on tara
wwhich you wwould nevver do im sure and i wwouldnt wwant a friend a yours thinkin something vvile like that
do you wwant me to be there maybe?

thatd be okay
yeah id like that
wwhat about sols powwers?

No, you're totally right, and I am going to tell her. Yes. No weaseling out of this. You don't need to be there, but I might suddenly show up and start crying on you afterwards, and I apologize right now in case that happens.

More of the same, just wouldn't work. Like, kaput. If you think it's a good idea, I'll do that, then.

you dont havve to apologize for cryin on me
are you sure you dont wwant me to be there?
ill wworry about you bein so upset and me not bein there

sounds like the best idea

Won't it be awkward for you? You barely know Dawn, and I'll be getting weepy about my ex, who must seem like this mythical figure on some pedestal that you could never compare to, but you so compare! I don't want to make you feel that way.

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[private] omg sudden tl;dr again. idk how you put up with her. XD

[private] lol

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