animus_network | 1st Message

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1st Message

I-Is this thing on?

[The screen shows Tara, looking more than a little confused and lost as she fiddles around with the settings on the terminal. Those of who you know her might be able to tell that she's different in appearance. Gone is most of the softness to her body. Now, muscles can be seen on her arms, as her shaking hands move over the terminal's settings. Her face is leaner, more angled, less round. Even so, she still looks healthy. She's lost weight, since being voted out and dropped back into the tower. But she hasn't starved. She's taken care of herself.

She also looks like she's been crying. Even now, Tara takes a swipe at her eyes as though chasing away the last few tears.]

It's...is it usual for people to be just...gone? To just...go away and, a-and not be here anymore?

...does anyone know what happens to them? I mean...our worlds, th-they're gone, right? So...if they're not here...w-where are they?

[But she knows. She knows in her heart what's happened. And so Tara plunges on, onto new concerns, onto new friends, onto new life and new problems that she might just be able to do something about. Tara wipes at her eyes, sniffles a bit more, and then forces herself to look back up at the camera.]

Well...it looks like the food's back, a-and the power, and...I've seen some people that, th-that I thought were in the pods with us. Guess that means it's over, right? That's...th-that's good. That's s-something.

Are you all okay? Everyone? Being back here, and all. I mean...I-I can't do a lot, with healing. But I can do some. I know a potion. Trust me. I-It helps. So, i-if you're still not feeling great...give me a call.

...I'm okay. [Some of you will know that this is directed very deliberately at you.] I mean, I'm tired, but...I-I'm okay.

[Tara turns to go, but stares down at her feet when she apparently bumps against something. Her eyes go wide in recollection.]

Oh! [Here Tara reaches down to her feet, and comes up holding a much battered library book. The title reveals it to be a book on edible plants. All in a rush, Tara forces out this last, sounding as though she's practiced it in front of the mirror] ...for later once, um, everyone's rested a-and gotten back on their feet a bit...I, I kind of think maybe we should prepare? In case something like this happens again.

I mean...it seems like they fight a lot. I, I wouldn't be surprised, if they all started fighting and left us here some time again. So, um, if anyone's interested...maybe we could all meet up? Swap tips? I only know about, um, plants from my world. Didn't know if, if there was anything else f-from somewhere else that I could have eaten.

...th-thank you.

((ooc: Holy frack, sorry for the TL;DR. But these were all the points weighing heavily on Tara's mind, and I thought it made sense for her to get them all out of the way at once. I'll be making a proper log post in a couple of days, in case anyone would prefer to catch her there.))

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Not a lot of people. [ She shakes her head slightly. ] There was someone else I talked to once or twice, just a little bit, but.. I haven't talked much with the other people.

.. They were playing music though. It sounded pretty, and it made a lot of people happy..

Music...?

[Tara casts a thoughtful look arond the room they've come to find themselves in. A room of music, that sometimes doesn't even need people to bring it out.]

Music is, is kind of like magic. In the right hands, it can do a lot of good things.

[And in the wrong hands, it can ruin lives.

Or maybe that's just Sunnydale.]

.. Yes. I thought that person was trying their best too by making music for everyone.. [ she did like listening to it back in the pod, after all, even if she hadn't joined in with the rest. ]

Do you like music..?

...sometimes.

["I'm under your spell. How else could it be anyone would notice me?"

Yes, Tara has had some unusual experiences with music. Ever since Taro had put on his little impromptu performance, though, she's been feeling just a twinge of nostalgia for guitar playing.]

I-I don't really know how to play anything, though. [Ask her to sing, though, and that's another story.]

That's okay. Sometimes it's really easy to learn. ... Ah, I think singing is pretty easy too, isn't it?

[ She smiles, and after a moment Urotsuki realises she can show something! With a smile she pulls out a trombone. It wouldn't be as surprising if it didn't come out of seemingly nowhere, and it's not like she grabbed one of the instruments in the room either.. but it seems normal to her, since she still smiles a little. ]

I play this.

[Did she just...?

How did she...?

Did Tara see that right...?

...oh, Urotsuki, now Tara is really, really glad she detoxed before she saw you again and you just did that. As it is, she forces her look of surprise to be replaced by a smile.]

Wow, r-really? I-I didn't know that. How long have you played?

[ Maybe Urotsuki didn't notice the surprise, or maybe she chooses to ignore it - either way she just moves on to the explanation, the answering of the question, as if what she did just now is still very normal. ]

Since I was young. I liked playing music, since it gave me something to spend the time with. [ something to take her mind off loneliness. ] .. I practiced by myself though, so I'm not very good..

[Tara is torn between pointing out how Urotsuki is still young and fairly staggering amounts of sympathy.

It's amazing, the things a kid will turn to when they have no one. She knows that much.

And, speaking of...]

I-I'd love to hear you play, but...I left something by my chair. Just, um, let me go get it.

By your chair? [ for a moment she lowers it, blinking curiously at Tara instead - maybe even trying to peek behind her already. ]

Sure, but.. what is it?

[What Urotsuki will see on the chair is a battered book, a stuffed pink pig, and what looks like a tangle of string and rocks.

Tara comes back tucking the pig into her pocket, and holding what appears to be a colored stone tied with string.] S-Sorry. Um... [She indicates the pig.] I-I found this. It's supposed to be, um, from the boy. Zo. And, and it belonged to a friend, and I kind of want to keep an eye on it.

I think it looks pretty cute.. the pig. [ She's staring at it until the pig is tucked away, either way, but then she just glances back at Tara. ]

'The boy' gave it to your friend?

No. He, um, he gave it to me. It just...belonged to a friend. Back in my own world.

[And Tara executes a subject turnaround again.] D-Didn't you get something from home? It seemed like we all did.

[ a small nod. ]

Hmm, I got some clothes.. I thought it was a little weird though, why are they giving us presents from back home..?

Well...I, I think it was just Zo, who got these things for us. H-He didn't seem so bad, or...not as bad as Jason. And, um, he was in charge of the tower, while the others were...busy. M-Maybe he really was sorry, for not doing as good a job.

.. He sounds like a nice kind of person.. I mean, he's giving us presents to apologize, and he didn't really do anything mean to you, right..?

Maybe he should always be in charge.

...no, he didn't. I, I think it's more that...he couldn't stop bad things happening, like the others could. He couldn't keep the food here, and stop the monsters, and bring us all back if we got hurt.

I-I guess that's, um, kind of a lot to do, for a little kid.

But.. is it better to have someone who hurts us then? I think that's so strange, the things they tried to do to others.. You remember the other groups back there, right, Tara?

I remember. [Tara's jaw tightens, and she folds her arms tightly across her chest, as though attempting to ward off those memories. She still has nightmares, where she wasn't quite so fortunate as to wind up in Dax's pod.] I...I remember, Urotsuki. And, and no, it's not better. I...I don't think I would have minded, if Zo had been in charge for good. Because w-we were okay. We adapted, and we survived, and...we were the ones doing it. No one was trying to stop us, or, or hurt us. If he'd just figured out the food...w-we would have been okay.

[ Thinking about it makes the girl quiet for a moment too, fretting a little by fiddling around with the ends of her sleeves. ]

But.. he didn't win. He didn't even participate, so there wasn't a chance for that from the start..

He participated. Really, um, I think he participated even more than the other three did. A-At least he did their jobs.

[...but, she's getting upset and all righteous-anger-y, and she probably shouldn't do that around Urotsuki. Tara coughs, looking embarrassed.]

...a-anyway. I, I guess it doesn't matter now. Or at least, um, not as much.

[ She frowns just slightly, but it's not in an angry way - more worried, probably, as she glances at the other girl. ]

.. Are you okay..?

Igotyouapresent.

[Staring determinedly down at her feet, Tara holds up the other thing she'd brought over. Turned the right way up, it might actually be recognizable as a makeshift necklace - a long piece of heavy, durable twine, looped around a deep red stone, with the remainder of the twine tied into a loop.]

I, I-I was sorry that...th-that you had to go through all of that, s-so...Imadeyouthis.

[ For a moment she just.. stares in more or less complete surprise. First to the stone, then to Tara, then back to the stone.. as if she can't really believe it. Maybe she's waiting for the joke. But.. it doesn't come, so.. it's not a joke? ]

That's.. for me? You're sure..? [ Sure, she's had lots of presents back home from her parents, but that was just more the kind of thing where they were trying to make things up to her - their abscense, right? ]

Y-Yeah. I mean, um, I-I didn't know...I didn't know if you'd be okay, when you got back, s-so I, I wanted to...m-maybe give you something nice. [It had seemed a better use for her precious stone collection. She'd arrived with quite a few lining the bottom of her trunk, and they were the only vaguely nice things she had.]

Besides. Um...I, I know you tried your best, and...good things sh-should happen, when you try your best. Even if they don't always...th-they should.

[Even if that good thing is just a slightly kitschy piece of homemade jewelry. It's the best she could manage, in her recovering state. Stability, positive thoughts, balance, friendship...]

...is it okay?

.. Of course it's okay..

[ Forgive her, she's still stuck in half-surprise as she's staring at it. But then she quickly shakes her head, trying to shake herself out of it. ]

I-.. I mean, it's great..! It's my first present here, so.. I'm really grateful. I think it's really pretty.

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