two ♓ video;

[ofdewandglass]

[Feferi is going to keep this quick. She looks tired, but she manages to smile.]

Hi, everyone. It's Feferi.

Number one - everyone who was in Jason's pod last month...I know none of us are okay. It's impossible to be okay after what that bastard put us through. But...are most of us some semblance of all right? Is there anyfin I can do to help?

Number two - I'm sorry if I worried anyone. I couldn't help being away. I was so scared that you would all think I had disappeared for good, and I was worried about you, too.

Number three...if anyone else from any version from Alternia has arrived...hello. And I'm sorry.

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Re: video

[ofdewandglass]

[It's okay, Equius. She's seen worse splattered across walls over the past month.]

Physically, yes. I'm quite glad I'm no longer a walking horrorterror or a plush mockery of one. It was...it was difficult, not letting anything resembling a Vast Glub go off. It wasn't that I didn't want to be merciful. I just didn't want to risk knowing what they would do if we revived. It would have, I suspect, been worse for everyone,

So...physically? Yes. Mentally? I'm working on that part.

How are you holding up?

[mutab1e]

[True that.]

[His face falls steadily further as she continues, only just managing to snap himself into response mode when she asks her own question. He wasn't doing too well either, what with the weeks of frayed nerves and no sleep whatsoever and complete bastardization of Space itself spilling out of every orifice and the EYES OH GOD THE EYES, but... the Vast Glub. That was worse. So he tries his best to keep the abuse off his face, and responds with:] ...I am doing well. Thank you.

[ofdewandglass]

You don't look like it - if I can be frank, you look exhausted in a way no troll should ever look. Is it okay if I ask what happened in there? We all suffered. I don't think any one person's suffering is worse than anyone else's. Every single one of us had horribubble conditions.

[mutab1e]

[... She asked him directly. He can't refuse.]

[Regardless, he speaks slowly, taking pauses every few words to ensure he doesn't completely unravel in front of her. That would be so embarrassing. He would gleefully die rather than do that.]

I... was in Riki's pod for the duration of the experiment. I don't know if you are aware of the conditions in that pod, so forgive me if I am repeating myself, but... it was all wrong. Every single piece of the mathematical and physical constructs of those rooms was wrong. I mean... objects rolled on flat surfaces, moving towards the center of the room. Walls had pulses -- they breathed. Corners shifted and changed degrees constantly. One could hardly even look around the room without massive vertigo, because nothing was even stable enough to keep a form for more than a few seconds. And... it was terrible, Empress, you... you don't have any idea, I'm-- I'm. Well. I'm the Space player. And whatever Riki did was... unnatural, it was unnatural on so many levels. He broke Space, Empress.

[And that's not even going into what happened with Ruana. But he suddenly becomes aware that he just delivered a giant monologue to the future Empress of the Alternian Empire, but not his future Empress of the Alternian Empire, and promptly shuts up.]

[ofdewandglass]

[Feferi is silent as Equius speaks, listening to every word. There are moments where she wants to protest, to tell him that wasn't so bad, but she doesn't. A Space player knows what's right and wrong with things in that area better than anyone else, and she manages to hold her tongue long enough to make that leap of logic.]

...I'm sorry. I'm our session's Life player, and I...I think I get it. Jason broke Life, perverted Life, for us. And Riki perverted, twisted, broke Space for you. And to think that Ruana girl treated it like the funniest game ever makes my food storage patch churn in ways it shouldn't.

[mutab1e]

[It... yeah, it was bad. Even for normal people it caused serious disruptions in the way their minds could function. But then, Equius figured, he did not know what it was like to be consumed in Jason's experimentation like she did, even if he had seen it from the outside. As if to compensate for the massive word dump he just piled on her, his next response is short and to the point.]

...Yes. I see how her being in charge has affected the Tower, now.

[ofdewandglass]

She's completely insane. To think that kind of sick competition was in any way all right...to experiment on us like that, whether it's breaking Space, doing things that violate the very principles of Life, make us afraid to take a Breath, to attempt to crush the Mind, bring us into a Rage, make us lose all Hope, break each Heart, draw our Blood, have us think we're in a Void, make us see our Doom, make us curse every second of Time that passed, and make us think the Light was extinguished...

[If she could hug him, she would. Instead, she sighs, making a soft shooshing noise.]

We proved we're stronger than that, though.

[mutab1e]

[Good thing she can't. He'd probably flip his lid completely. He does catch the shooshing noise (ouch, right in the kokoro), but doesn't mention it.]

...How? By just living through it... that doesn't mean anything.

[ofdewandglass]

It means everything. We get stronger with every experience we go through. If they break our spirit, they break everything. I don't want that to happen to any of us.

[mutab1e]

[He's about to argue back with something like "It's a little late for that," but her words make him pause. Feferi gets a short gap before the next transmission comes through.]

That is a very tall order.

[Deep breath.]

But... I think you are capable of using your power for good.

Should you need my help, I would be honored to serve you, Empress.