animus_network | ≈ first breeze! (text)

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≈ first breeze! (text)

wow, oookay.
this place is pretty messed up!
i find it to be a terrible fourteenth birthday present.
even if it's not my birthday anymore.
but, uh, belatedly!
hi, i'm john egbert.
apparently there's a lalonde-me running around, so hi lalonde-me.
it's really freaky to consider a me, that's also a rose, but still me?
how does that even work. is that like doomed timeline shenanigans?
wow does that mean there's a doomed timeline somewhere that combined me and rose?
maybe i messed up on the ectobiology and created some weird rose-me-hybrid.
freaky tentacle-ghosty-movie-wizard baby!
oh man that sounds like an awesome horror movie or something.
we should write our own horror movie.
hi everybody else that's not-me, too!

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...now i'm really confused wow.
okay so it goes like this i guess:

john lalonde <== john egbert ==> rose egbert

so that's...

yeah i guess that's a you-lalonde and a rose-you.
or maybe it's more like a lalonde-you and a you-rose?
augh this is stupid.
i'm rose. just rose.
not rose you or you rose or anything just rose egbert.
or rose e. if you must.
and nope!
no tentacles.
i'm don't know why i would have tentacles really.
i'm just as human as you, you know!

i think i would be okay with a john for a brother too.
as long as it's not my john.
or well john lalonde.
he's my john, from my timeline!
oh and to answer your question it is doomed timeline shenanigans.
though i guess we're the only instance of that?
it seems like all the others are alpha timelines in their own right.
i don't really know how it's all supposed to work, that's jade's area.

no, see that's what i thought at first, too.
lalonde-me. karkat mentioned a john lalonde, and i was like whoa!! lalonde-me.
but if he's a john lalonde, then he's a me-lalonde, because i'm still a john but not a lalonde, and he's ALSO a john, but not an egbert. he's a lalonde.
so it's me-lalonde and rose-me.
...
i swear that made a lot more sense in my head.

i think i'll just call you rose.
and if i get you confused with rose lalonde, rose e.
or maybe just e.
can i call you e?
rose e. sounds like rosie.
i get the feeling any incarnation of a rose would kill anything in cold blood that called her rosie.

and oh, so is my rose. she's perfectly human!
she's just very in-touch with a bunch of eldritch horrors, so she had tentacles for a little while.
she got better.

heheheh.
okay! then we're brother and sister.
man i think dad would shit himself if he suddenly had a rose egbert, too.
like, in happiness.
i dunno.
it's kinda hard to tell through all the cake and "i'm proud of you"s he was always throwing at me.

doomed timelines don't really make a whole lot of sense to me?
so it doesn't matter all that much.
jade's?
wow what's jade's last name?? she's harley in my session!

i guess that makes sense yeah.
wow though the implications this makes with all the other "us-but-not-uses" that are running around.
or well...there's only one other john.
but there's another rose!
and there are two daves!
just think of how many other uses there could be out there.
like...
what if there's a john strider somewhere?
or a john harley!
i think calling each other by our names still might be easier.
plus i don't know if john would really appreciate being called lalonde-me hee hee.

i'm okay with rosie!
i don't know why any rose would--
actually no, i take that back before i even finish that sentence.
rose strider would probably kill you for it.
but i wouldn't. rosie's just fine with me.
and i think i'll take that over "just e" if i have to choose.
somehow "just e" would be kind of counter productive, because that's not even close to rose. :P

oh!
oh you mean like the noble gods of the furthest ring, by chance?
like fluthlhu or oglogoth?
haha, i am all about them!
i find their lore absolutely fascinating, and the fact that they are apparently real in SBURB even more so!
though it sucks i never got to meet them like dave did.

yay!
i don't know, he seemed to handle having me around pretty well.
then again though, we didn't have a john around the house, so who knows!
but yes, i definitely think it would be out of happiness.
and wow, he sounds like he's just the same in your universe!
did he put wizards all over the house with you too? :/

she's a strider! and dave is the harley, obviously, since he's the last puzzle piece you're missing now.
we have a jade strider here, but she's not from my universe.
she's still pretty cool though.
i really like her, but it's hard not to i think.

good grief this is really confusing.
multiples upon multiples and wow a john strider would be really scary.
and i dunno jade and i are sort of alike so maybe a john harley wouldn't be that different?
or a jade egbert.
guess it sort of really teaches you who you are and what makes you who you are, huh?

oh! well all right.
rosie is kind of cute, i guess.
i'll see how just rose works, and if it gets too confusing i'll call you rosie.
and wow, rose strider.
i think i'm going to have nightmares.

i think so, yeah!
to be honest i never really listened to rose's talking about them.
when she was still speaking english about them it sort of didn't make much sense so i just let her go and made affirmative statements every so often in her sea of confusing purple.
like dave?
whoaaa.

i guess dad's sort of a universal constant.
that's sorta cool.
but no, not wizards.
harlequins!! creepy things. eugh.

...wow, jade strider.
i'm actually not sure which i'm more scared by, rose or jade being the strider!!
and wow, dave harley.
i'm so confused right now.
my head is full of fuck all over again.

yeah, it really does.
it's kind of interesting too.
a little weird.
but i think i enjoy it.
it's a really wonderful example of the psychological differences dealing with the whole nature versus nurture argument.
i hope you don't mind if i kind of...study you a bit?
already you're kind of different from my john, but i'm really interested in just how different.
or even how similar!
and having the two of you both here and able to interact will help a lot more i think than just, say, comparing dave strider or lalonde to dave without having any interactions to add to the file.

well then i guess there are tentacles here.
though you know it's kind of rude to just make affirmative statements. what if she quizzes you?
maybe you should just ask her to explain things in smaller installments.
and yes, like dave.
he woke up on this planet called derse when he was really little and the horrorterrors told him lots of stuff.
my 'dreamself' never woke up, so i never met them. nor did i get to see what derse looks like.
which is kind of sad. from what dave told me, it was really pretty.

he must be, and yeah that is kind of cool.
he's a pretty awesome dad so.
oh huh...
do you like harlequins by chance?

jade strider is definitely not anyone to be scared by.
rose strider though...
she's really angry and hostile.
you might do well to be wary of her.
but no, jade is awesome.
even if she does have a totally fake 'coolkid' act.

yeah, i just kind of took all the information of other mes and johns and stuff and shoved it all under 'welp' for the most part.

well that answers the question of if the psychoanalytical stuff is a rose thing or a lalonde thing!
it's sort of weird to be studied, but i guess i don't mind.
not like i could really say no anyway.
or that it would do me any good if i did.

yeah, i guess.
i just also kind of... don't really care about her weird cthulu monsters?
but i don't really want to tell her not to talk about something she's into.
so i just let her go and try to pick out the interesting stuff.
okay so you and dave still dream on derse.
my dave and rose dream on derse, too, and jade and i dream on prospit.
my dreamself never woke up, either.
so i guess that's an egbert thing?

hell yes universal constant dad.
i could still go without all the cakes for every occasion, though.
not really. but he collected them like they were going out of style.

good to know. i guess i just don't ever want to see jade strider angry.
jade harley is scary enough angry.
well i'm always kind of wary of rose.
no offense!
she's just super-smart and stuff, so it's... i dunno.
it's like respectful-wary.
but i also like messing around with her.
prankster's gambit and all.

heheheh.
'welp' is a good filename for all this.

psychoanalytical stuff is very interesting.
and i guess you're right, it probably wouldn't.
maybe i just wouldn't tell you all the embarrassing data i was keeping on you.
oh maybe!
hmmm...

i think the cakes were nice.
i certainly enjoyed them anyway. they were delicious.
and huh...
maybe i'm wrong then.

yeah, i'm sure she'd be pretty scary angry.
i've never really seen her angry.
and none taken, but you shouldn't be wary just because she's smart.
or we're smart.
i hope i'm as smart as my counterparts.
but that's silly! even if it is respectful.
and oh.
i see.
well.
i think it's only fair to warn you then.
you're going to have some competition for the prankster's gambit with me.

i thought so.

uh-huh. that's also a rose thing.
/sigh

bluh.
they were nice except for when he made like six of them in an hour every birthday for thirteen years.
i mean sweet stuff is pretty awesome, but if i had actually eaten anywhere near all of those cakes i'd be four times my width and probably diabetic.
or dead.
or both??

let's keep it that way.
eh, it's more of a ...wary because i can't always tell what she's thinking sort of thing??
cautiousness around roses. like, literally around roses, like the bushes, because ow thorns? and roses like the girls because they kind of also have thorns.
i feel like i should add 'ba-dum chh' to the end of that statement.
heheheh.
i wouldn't have it any other way. :)

it won't be so bad.
you'll see!
you will be assisting in answering some of life's greatest questions that never could be before because clones aren't possible yet.

well did you ever try explaining that you kind of don't want to be fat, diabetic and dead?
not that i ever did, but then i can't complain much about the cake.
i would just save a bunch for later.

i guess that makes sense, but only because i've met another rose.
but if your rose is anything like me, i bet there's nothing to really be wary about.
she probably loves you guys!
best friends and all that.

perfect.
this will be fun.

wow i'm totally jumping for joy, here.

i didn't really want to hurt his feelings, so we just strifed over them.
i think he kind of enjoyed it. like it was family bonding or something to have cake fights.
i dunno.
dad's kinda weird.

oh i know.
she's a little icy and scathing with words sometimes, but...
it's pretty easy to tell that she's actually really sweet. :)
and i'm sure you're no exception.

heheheh.

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≈ first breeze! (text)

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omfg tl;dr of the egberts

rose lalonde is wearing off on you through rose egbert, john.

roseception

the best 'ception tbh

makes angry gavel noises

obviously that is the real reason john is wary around roses

oh certainly.