≈ first breeze! (text)

[heirterosexual]

wow, oookay.
this place is pretty messed up!
i find it to be a terrible fourteenth birthday present.
even if it's not my birthday anymore.
but, uh, belatedly!
hi, i'm john egbert.
apparently there's a lalonde-me running around, so hi lalonde-me.
it's really freaky to consider a me, that's also a rose, but still me?
how does that even work. is that like doomed timeline shenanigans?
wow does that mean there's a doomed timeline somewhere that combined me and rose?
maybe i messed up on the ectobiology and created some weird rose-me-hybrid.
freaky tentacle-ghosty-movie-wizard baby!
oh man that sounds like an awesome horror movie or something.
we should write our own horror movie.
hi everybody else that's not-me, too!

Comments

[knightime]

what a what
dude when did you get here?
you know what forget it
wheres your room
ps
you sound like an idiot

[heirterosexual]

oh hi dave!
are you done being weird and creepy and petshop of horrors-smiley?
what do you mean when did i get here, i've been here! for like a week.
i talked to you already.
but you were being pretty weird so maybe you don't remember for whatever reason.
uhhh 4-14. totally almost my birthday. that would have been so cool and kind of spooky.
ps
nobody cares what you think.

[knightime]

fuckkkkkk
ok no
ill explain in person
they dont assign rooms based on your birthday stupid
ps
your face
thats what

[You aren't getting another reply after this since he already left the terminal to head to your room.]

[thornythaumaturge]

i don't know about a rose you, but i bet whoever told you about her was probably talking about me!
it's a pleasure to meet you, john.
i'm rose egbert.
and there are no tentacles here, mister!
though there's nothing wrong with tentacles.
and ghosty horror movies are more john's thing.
or
my john's thing.
this is going to get really confusing i think.

[[And weird. This is already really weird talking to another Egbert. But really cool too.

...though it does raise a question.]]

do you think this makes us siblings?

[heirterosexual]

whaaaat??
a lalonde-me and a me-rose?
or i guess that's. me-lalonde and rose-me.
wow this is getting confusing.
no tentacles?
a rose with no tentacles is so weird to me!
...oh wow that sounded really compromising and awkward.
my-you doesn't actually have tentacles.
anymore.
i mean she didn't exactly ever have tentacles, she just.
wow.

[He considers this.]

i dunno!
but i'm pretty okay with having a rose for a sister!

[thornythaumaturge]

...now i'm really confused wow.
okay so it goes like this i guess:

john lalonde <== john egbert ==> rose egbert

so that's...

yeah i guess that's a you-lalonde and a rose-you.
or maybe it's more like a lalonde-you and a you-rose?
augh this is stupid.
i'm rose. just rose.
not rose you or you rose or anything just rose egbert.
or rose e. if you must.
and nope!
no tentacles.
i'm don't know why i would have tentacles really.
i'm just as human as you, you know!

i think i would be okay with a john for a brother too.
as long as it's not my john.
or well john lalonde.
he's my john, from my timeline!
oh and to answer your question it is doomed timeline shenanigans.
though i guess we're the only instance of that?
it seems like all the others are alpha timelines in their own right.
i don't really know how it's all supposed to work, that's jade's area.

text; i literally do not have an icon for his face right now.

[grislytragedian]

[Oh dear god he was so not ready for this. Sure, Alpha-Timeline Dave was one thing, Jade was another but Jesus tapdancing Christ on wheat toast, he was not read for Alpha-Timeline John. Especially only mere days after facing his shadow nope not ready.]

[His body is so not ready, it will likely never be ready ohgodohgodohgo-- wait what.]

[What the hell is he talking about hybrid combinations and tentacle ghosts oh my god he's an idiot. Jolal just kind of gapes at the computer screen for a long time, completely at a loss for words.]

There is so much wrong with what you just said that I literally do not even know where to begin.

eeeexcelleeeent.

[heirterosexual]

[...heheheh Jolal.]

oh wow!
you must me me-lalonde.
sorry, i got the names all messed up.
also wow please tell me you don't always talk like such a fancy tool.
you sound like you should be writing in cursive with a fountain pen!

[grislytragedian]

[Face in hands forever. This conversation has only just started and he already wants to turn the computer off and go just go...somewhere else. Anywhere else.]

I really don't see how anything I said was fancy but ok, whatever.
Unless the fact that I'm not too lazy to hit the shift key counts as fancy.
Anyway, I guess you could say that. I am you-Lalonde.
But I don't have tentacles and I am not Rose.
You didn't mess up the ectobiology, there was a glitch in the game itself or something.
Biologically, there's no difference between us. It's just that I'm doomed and you're not because I wound up at the wrong house.
That's really all there is to it.
No freakish hybrids.

[restitchtime]

[oh look, the blue John is back. aaaaaand he remembers fuck and all about the tower.

SMASHING]

Alternate timelines really aren't that fucking difficult to wrap your head around, but considering that every additional syllable you threw onto this post just fueled my bafflement at how your own hasn't collapsed in on itself from the sheer dumbassery emanating from it I guess that's just asking too much from you.

Anyway, this shithole's already a bad B movie in its own right. No need to go shitting on everyone here even more and making one yourself.

[heirterosexual]

[Not a damn thing! Sorry Rose.]

...wow i really don't even know who to guess you are.
you talk kind of like a really angry rose, but my rose doesn't swear much, and you're red like dave.
so hi, i'm john egbert!
and you are?

[not here] UHH 1/3 maybe?

[septette]

[...........................................john?]

[not here] 2/3!

[septette]

[oh god it's John. Is it really John? It seems like him, in personality. He introduced himself as John. And he's using that blue color. she does remember him mentioning something happening on his birthday, too...?

But does he remember anything about the Facility? That was the question weighing in on her mind. She thought of this place as actually a bit nicer than the Facility, so why would he be saying it's messed up if he didn't have the experience of being tortured horribly for over a year?

...and he sounded a bit more optimistic, too

wouldn't he be asking questions if he remembered? wouldn't he--?]

[iron_infidel]

Birthday...mmmm. That must be some sort of celebration, I concluded this from the way you speak about it?
It is a human thing right? If you are human and if not I do not mean to offend.

[heirterosexual]

a birthday is just what it sounds like!
it's a celebration of the day you were born.
but it is a human thing, yeah.
if you're not human, are you another one of the trolls? you type in a different color than any of the trolls i've met so far.

text

[puppy_lancer]

waitwhat

text

[heirterosexual]

waitwhat... what.

text

[heartfeltfancy]

[She's far too used to this game by now, this game of timelines and memories. So it doesn't strike her too hard that this John probably doesn't remember the Facility.

Oh, well. With Jade gone at least he was here.]

hello john-kun :D
it's nice to see you again, though um you probably don't remember me that's ok

text

[heirterosexual]

wow it's like i'm famous or something!
hi there.
i don't think i know you, i'm sorry. :(
at least, i don't remember anybody that types like cotton candy.
or uses, uh... japanese? suffix-thingies.

Couldn't NOT tag this, tbh.

[ocariness]

And so the timelines and worlds drop another familiar face into our Tower. One that was missed by many, I am sure.

Hello, Hero of Winds, John Egbert. I am Link, the Hero of Time. Do you need help settling in, by any chance? I would not mind explaining anything, if it is within my knowledge.

hell. fucking. yes. uhhh how do you feel about fourthwalling.

[heirterosexual]

good grief i just really am famous aren't i.

whoa whoa whoa what?
link, hero of time, like. as in, master sword using, deku tree saving, zelda rescuing link, hero of time??

[PS if the fourthwalling isn't okay I will edit that out. :>]

[permatext]

[chronomancer]

wwe dont WWrite so much as Livve the wwhole horror movvie thing around here
givve it a feww days an youll see

[permatext]

[heirterosexual]

yeah i've sort of noticed that a little bit.
living a horror movie is way less cool than writing one.
but i guess i'll figure it out.

[bloodwriter]

Hello John Egbert!
It is so nice to m33t someone refreshingly nice and kind, especially within a place like this. :33

[heirterosexual]

hello someone who i also assume is a troll!
a troll who possibly has two mouths, looking at your smiley.
it's nice to be someone refreshingly nice and kind.
this place kind of needs some cheering up.