animus_network | ≈ first breeze! (text)

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≈ first breeze! (text)

wow, oookay.
this place is pretty messed up!
i find it to be a terrible fourteenth birthday present.
even if it's not my birthday anymore.
but, uh, belatedly!
hi, i'm john egbert.
apparently there's a lalonde-me running around, so hi lalonde-me.
it's really freaky to consider a me, that's also a rose, but still me?
how does that even work. is that like doomed timeline shenanigans?
wow does that mean there's a doomed timeline somewhere that combined me and rose?
maybe i messed up on the ectobiology and created some weird rose-me-hybrid.
freaky tentacle-ghosty-movie-wizard baby!
oh man that sounds like an awesome horror movie or something.
we should write our own horror movie.
hi everybody else that's not-me, too!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And in a stunning turn of events, it took absolutely no time at all to be considered inane bullshit. My chumhandle is truculentTactician, not whatever garbage you were trying to vomit onto the keyboard. Hopefully the words aren't too fucking big for you.

I wear sunglasses because I actually enjoy being able to fucking see and don't want to risk my eyeballs burning out of my skull, especially in this hellhole. Amazing, isn't it?

I'd say that shades might be a Dave thing anyway since mine wears them too, but the only reason he has them is because he's a douchebag so it might not count.

you are definitely the grouchiest rose i have ever met.
and i've met rose when she didn't speak english and was all grey and spooky.
but, okay.
my rose's chumhandle is tentacleTherapist, and dave's is turntechGodhead, so i combined them.

what a practical use for sunglasses!
sorry, the strider in my timeline is dave and he's kind of a massive tool.
but he's my best friend so i don't really care.
he just likes to act like his sunglasses are this big ironic thing.
personally i think he just likes them 'cause they were a birthday present from me.

heheheh. seems like daves are douchebags all across the board.
what's your dave's last name?

I'm the Queen Bitch of all Rose incarnations, didn't anyone tell you? Handle mashing dipshits cower in fear at my very name.

That's me, practical as fucking can be. I've already met your asshole and can't say I was particularly impressed with his sunglasses, so congrats on giving shitty birthday presents I guess.

Harley. And the other two are Jade Egbert and John Lalonde, before you decide that's important to know too.

sorry rose, not cowering over here!

hey! those are totally awesome sunglasses and you leave my asshole alone.
he's an asshole and he's kind of a tool but he's my asshole.
and those shades weren't a shitty birthday present!

heheheh dave harley. this is all so crazy.
whoa jade egbert! i think i'd like to meet her.
and there's a john lalonde here, is he from your timeline?

Guess I used too many words for you, then. My bad.

He's also a Strider asshole, which means I have free range to mouth off about him as much as I fucking please. That includes any shitty gifts he may have received from mentally deficient friends.

No, he's not.

[and she leaves it at that. it's still a sore subject and hopefully the outrageously short answer will be enough to keep him from pressing the issue.]

nah, i just don't really cower.
my rose uses a lot of words too.
usually i just sort of let her talk and try to pick out the interesting stuff.

okay, i'll give you the strider thing. i guess that's some weird form of strider bonding. whatever.
wow, you're kind of exceptionally grumpy.
you're approaching karkat levels of grumpy here, rose. careful.

right.
uh, sorry.

Considering that I had the absolute misfortune to run into 'your' Rose way before you ever fucking got here, I can't say I'm surprised. She wasn't exactly stellar conversation material.

I'm not grumpy at all, I just don't have the desire to pretend I give a fuck about the crap you're spewing. Most of the people here are borderline functionally braindead, so if I don't point out that you're wasting everyone's time then no one will.

Besides, there's no one who could always be so close to an aneurysm as that asshole.

Don't be. He's a creepy little giggling shitstain who'd probably get off on the shit we have to slog through here. The place is better off if he never sets foot in it.

wow, okay.
you're just a really difficult person to talk to, i think.

I'm just a really difficult person in general. The fact that you can barely function in the real world probably doesn't help your case very much.

wow i function just fine in the real world.
i just haven't been IN the real world for a year now.
i've been stuck on a boat.
and i haven't fucked any mermaids.

Good on the mermaids for keeping to some kind of standard. The last thing we need is the possibility of you procreating.

wow you and me-lalonde are really hung up on babies.

Says the asshole who spent two-thirds of his post rambling on about genetics like a drunken scientist.

drunken scientist is an improvement from shitty gift-giver, i think.
i'll take that.

I guess even the bottom of the barrel needs to feel good about themselves every now and then. Who am I to stop you from picking your favorite insult?

well you're rose strider, i think.
but i dunno if that makes you anybody important.
so far i'm just seeing you as a sort of self-important jerkbutt.

And moronic comments like are are probably why you're wearing glasses. Besides being supreme ruler of all bitchy tryhards I'm also one of the few actually competent people in the tower.

But I'm sure that doesn't mean much to you. It's involve being productive, after all.

well seeing as all you've done is explain to me that i'm moronic, i haven't really had much of a chance to be productive or proactive.
but even if i was you'd probably just say i was still moronic, 'cause i'm not you.
at least that's the impression i'm getting.

Hey, nobody said that the welcome wagon was all sunshine and rainbows. I prefer to get the browbeating out of the way upfront so I don't have to suffer through any more inane network bullshit.

well then maybe i'll have to post more inane network bullshit just to spite you.
what then?

Then I probably break your hands. There's enough crap to wade through on this fucking piece of shit without assholes like you deliberately adding to the pile.

well too bad.
since i imagine most of what i post is gonna be inane by your standards i guess you're just gonna have to deal with it.

You understand that our ideas of what 'dealing with it' entails are vastly different, right?

probably.
isn't it just easier to ignore stuff?
i mean with as easily annoyed by things as you seem to be, it seems like an awful lot to put on your plate to get rid of it all.

I don't know if you've noticed (or will ever notice) but this place is kind of a hateful clusterfuck hellbent on breaking everyone's spirits into little pieces. Surprisingly I'd like to do something about that! Which means I need to be able to figure out who's useful around here.

Unfortunately that means I need to at least try and keep people from clogging up the best way to keep track of people with verbal diarrhea. It's not that much effort on my part anyway.

≈ first breeze! (text)

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