gAmZeE MaKaRa ♑ terminallyCapricious (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hystericull) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
animus_network2013-01-15 11:01 am
hystericull) wrote in animus_network2013-01-15 11:01 am
011 ♑ [eleventh honk/video]
Content Warning: Thread with Tavros got smutty I really can't believe I'm putting this right in the OP but the general public has a right to be warned.
[The feed clicks on, revealing an extremely wide, extremely frantic purple eye.]
[After a few seconds, the features surrounding said eye come into view, as the operator of the video backs up. And backs up a little more.]
[It's a gargantuan troll. Everything about him looks like it's been blown well out of reasonable proportion. His shoulders took up the width of the screen, and the way he hunched over couldn't have been anything but uncomfortable. His face was painted up like a monotone clown - all dark smudges against stark white. The design hadn't changed much in the sweeps he'd spent here. What was your face was your face, no matter how you felt about it. The paint was what he was born with, the design was a part of him - one thing in life that couldn't be done on a whim.]
[Most of that face, however, was obscured by the most absurd mane of hair imaginable. It exploded from his head in a mass of mats and twists and curls, getting in his eyes and mouth before running down his neck and past his shoulders. It was reminiscent of vines taking over a building - crawling up and threatening to engulf the two massive, spiraling horns that sprouted from his head.]
[For being as giant as he was, Gamzee had been lacking in the brute strength department - a solitary physical trait he failed to inherit from his ancestor. His limbs and neck were thick, but not as thick as they could or should be. His hands rivaled the size of dinner plates, but the fingers on them remained knuckles and spindle.]
[Now that both manic eyes were visible, as well as a decent amount of the rest of him, Gamzee's dark lips parted to speak, revealing terribly sharp and terribly disgusting fangs. Plucking a vial of dark purple liquid from his pants pocket, he held it up to the camera.]
All you magnanimous motherfuckers, please to be all popping the most righteous of motherfuckin' squats at the terminal and start bestowing on to your wicked brother all what's knowledge holy you up and got in those inferior thinkpans 'bout the matter what all is at being your mother fucking blood.
[The feed clicks on, revealing an extremely wide, extremely frantic purple eye.]
[After a few seconds, the features surrounding said eye come into view, as the operator of the video backs up. And backs up a little more.]
[It's a gargantuan troll. Everything about him looks like it's been blown well out of reasonable proportion. His shoulders took up the width of the screen, and the way he hunched over couldn't have been anything but uncomfortable. His face was painted up like a monotone clown - all dark smudges against stark white. The design hadn't changed much in the sweeps he'd spent here. What was your face was your face, no matter how you felt about it. The paint was what he was born with, the design was a part of him - one thing in life that couldn't be done on a whim.]
[Most of that face, however, was obscured by the most absurd mane of hair imaginable. It exploded from his head in a mass of mats and twists and curls, getting in his eyes and mouth before running down his neck and past his shoulders. It was reminiscent of vines taking over a building - crawling up and threatening to engulf the two massive, spiraling horns that sprouted from his head.]
[For being as giant as he was, Gamzee had been lacking in the brute strength department - a solitary physical trait he failed to inherit from his ancestor. His limbs and neck were thick, but not as thick as they could or should be. His hands rivaled the size of dinner plates, but the fingers on them remained knuckles and spindle.]
[Now that both manic eyes were visible, as well as a decent amount of the rest of him, Gamzee's dark lips parted to speak, revealing terribly sharp and terribly disgusting fangs. Plucking a vial of dark purple liquid from his pants pocket, he held it up to the camera.]
All you magnanimous motherfuckers, please to be all popping the most righteous of motherfuckin' squats at the terminal and start bestowing on to your wicked brother all what's knowledge holy you up and got in those inferior thinkpans 'bout the matter what all is at being your mother fucking blood.
[Action.]
I meant it all ain't gonna jive for your ass, motherfucker! I don't give two flying motherfucking shits on who the fuck be present when I--
[Ugh. It was so hard to work up a good fury when Tavros' arms were stretched out to him like that. Gamzee's red quadrants were, honestly, the only thing that made him feel like himself. The only ropes keeping him tied to the ground for all these sweeps.]
[He'd do you one better. Grabbing Tavros under the arms, it took a bit of strength to lift the guy back up to eye-level before Gamzee brought him to his chest. He kept him supported with an arm across the waist, running the fingers of his free hand across a folded wing before wordlessly pressing his face to the crook of his neck.]
[Action.]
[ Tavros inhaled softly, curling his arms around Gamzee's broad shoulders, trying to go through the mess of hair without getting tangled in their web. It was a half-successful attempt, but he managed to get a proper embrace out of it.
Soon after, Tavros' legs joined the action, and he was basically clinging to his matesprit. Good news: Gamzee didn't need to support his weight anymore. Bad news: He looks ridiculous.
Who cares. ]
You are awfully irascible today ...
[ He adds nothing to it, as if he expected Gamzee to get the hint and confess to whatever he was planning to do. ]
[Action.]
Say that all as often as it motherfucking occur and you'll be running outta fuckin' words up in no time, motherfucker.
[Gamzee was always cranky. The fuck has Tavros been?]
Ain't grown into nothing but all some sorry ass motherfuckin' belligerent gangsta, I fuckin' have.
[He grins, fangs now nipping at the skin where he'd had his head resting.]
[Action.]
Perhaps when he was younger, he preferred the idea of ignoring things, but he is pretty fucking tired of this shit by now. The lack of communication is killing him.
But, what can he do about it? I mean- Gamzee is an adult now. He couldn't keep pushing him into things he is uncomfortable with. So, again, Tavros had no other choice but to back off. Drop the subject. Even when he knew there is something terribly wrong going on.
With a tired sigh, he pats on his back shoulders. You win this round, Makara. Enjoy it. ]
... Yeah. Well, we change when we grow up. That's how things go, right?
[Action.]
[Just because Gamzee was obsessed with hiding things didn't mean that he didn't still care about Tavros. In fact, it was completely the opposite. Though he would never say it, the influence of his ancestor had given him uneasiness and irrational anger about the caste of his red quadrants. It wasn't something that would deter him from pitying them with every fiber of his being, but it made him angry, like a stubborn, spoiled child. They deserved better. They deserved to be higher. They deserved to have the swill in their veins replaced with something purer.]
[The distress in Tavros' tone was evident. Gamzee pulled his face away from biting at his collarbones to bump noses.]
Bitches change all the fuckin' time, brother. Not just when they's up and done with growin'. Just 'cause that be the way shit go down don't much at all mean what I be feeling in this pump biscuit mine be any different than what it all was at sweeps ago.
[His expression softened, anger quelled for now by the warm body pressed against him.]
[Action.]
He bites the inside of his cheek, and he waits for a few seconds to collect himself before dealing with the highblood. ]
It's not a healthy way of handling things, Gamzee.
[ Yeah, he said he will drop the subject, but it didn't mean it's all forgotten. Still, It didn't stop Tavros from leaning in for a quick kiss, and out of habit- he brought his hand over to curl some of Gamzee's hair behind his ear. It was far more challenging as they grew older, but he enjoyed doing it regardless.
Except, his little act of affection exposed a few things. It appears to be some ... bruises around Gamzee's neck? Tavros raised an eye eyebrow, getting closer for a proper look. ]
[Action.]
Maybe I'll fuckin' be all handling it differentways, then.
[He cleared his throat, shaking his head to knock the hair from behind his ear and back over his neck.]
[Action.]
He looks at Gamzee straight in the eye. ]
What the fuck is this?
[Action.]
Gave some fuckin' blood. It's all good, bro.
[Have a smile.]
[Action.]
First course of action, pull the fuck away. Which he did, wings fluttering rapidly, and if that wasn't a clear hint of his rage building up, maybe the tone of voice will do a better job. ]
Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid?!
[Action.]
[Ugh, Tavros in a rage was something he usually loved to watch. The rarer things in life were just so much more rewarding. It was a pretty different story when he was the one on the receiving end of that anger, though.]
[The wounds were definitely not going away as quickly as he thought they would. If he could have just kept them covered, kept his distance while they faded...]
[It didn't matter, now. He had to keep himself cool. If he blew up, this whole situation would be forfeit.]
Babe.
It's the motherfuckin' truth.
[Action.]
Also-
Babe.
Every inch in his body felt an unbelievable amount of disgust, and the temptations were far too high at this point. He swings his arm, and aims his fist right across Gamzee's face. It didn't even feel nearly as good as he thought it would be, and it just made him even more irritated. ]
[Action.]
[At all.]
[Gamzee's head snapped to the side, the taste of paint and blood and spit on his tongue and smeared across his teeth. His instant reaction was to let out a loud growl - voices screaming in his head and pulse going rapid. Being hit sent him into an instant, violent frenzy. As quickly as he was hit, he whirled on Tavros, reaching out to tear into any inch of flesh he could find and pulling his fist back to--]
[To...]
[That snarling expression fell straight off of his smeared face. His fist was halfway to connecting. Halfway to connection. He'd almost decked Tavros in the face, no matter what Tavros had done to him. The claws he'd sunk into Tavros' shoulder pulled away instantly, and Gamzee backed up.]
[He could taste the blood still flowing inside his mouth. Something had gotten scraped against his teeth from the hit. Dropping his hands, he was truly at a loss for words. He'd never been clueless how to respond to a situation, because his response to anything was always anger, always violence.]
L--
[His tongue felt thick, and his lip felt fat. God damnit.]
FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!!!
[Action.]
[ Hey, he can yell just as loud. Maybe louder. ]
I'm so sick of your fucking lies. That's all you do, Gamzee! One lie after another. And now you're cheating on me? Fucking perfect!
[ He snarled, baring his fangs and hissing. ]
You sicken me.
[ All he could see is those marks on Gamzee's neck and the image of him getting intimate with someone else. It drove him mad, like a raging bull and all he wanted to do right now is crush some bones and get his claws dirty.
Breathe. Fucking breathe. Get angry, but don't lose it. He brings his hands up to his head, eyes firmly shut. ]
Fuck this. Fuck everything. Fuck for giving a shit about you!!
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[Did he want to lose Tavros? Fuck no! This whole thing wasn't even anything he'd given extensive thought to! If he wanted to fuck around, he'd make a better effort of it than that! ...Wait, that wasn't the right train of thought. Oh, fuck it. Who the fuck was he trying to kid by playing goody-two-shoes?]
[So, he took it. All of the words and the venom because he fucking deserved it. In some part of him, it cut deep. Some part of him was being destroyed, having to listen to this. After all of this time, though? Having lost most of himself to his own mind, to this fucking Tower? Whatever. All he had to do was figure out how to fix this. That's... that's all.]
[That's all.]
...Tavros.
[He put his hands up, as if it would shield him from anything else.]
Don't fuckin' do this like you is. We gotta hash this shit out. Come on, babe.
[It came out a lot calmer than he expected it would.]
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Gam, no. Just ... stop using that word. It's pissing me off right now.
[ Haha, everything is pissing him off right now! Even Gamzee's cool. Like, what the fuck, bro? When he actually wants you to go crazy and get all the fists flying between them, you decide to switch on the chill mode. Wait- that's a good thing! Why is he annoyed by it? Damnit, nothing makes any sense anymore.
Oh god, fuck his life, he really didn't want to talk to Gamzee right now.
In every single discussion, he had to take the lead, ask the questions, fight the highblood a little into speaking out. It was a long, tiring process and he had zero energy to persuade it. Okay, Tavros is just making up shitty excuses now. Grow up and deal with this situation already.
Finally, he turned to face Gamzee again. Regardless of the glare, he managed to speak without screaming his words. For now. ]
Don't fucking lie to me this time.
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Tav.
[No pet names. They were only making him angrier. No contact, either, but that didn't mean Gamzee couldn't still wear an affectionate expression. Worried would be more the word. He looked worried, like a kicked barkbeast.]
I am only spinning truths at you, brother. Served the rainbowdrinker some of what I motherfuckin' got. Them fuckers be out their minds when they ain't got a bite in perigrees.
[He spoke quietly, calmly, not delivering too much at once.]
It all meant no more than helping a motherfuckin' bro out. If you ain't chill with that shit, then no more of it. Simple as all fuckin' that.
[He glanced up at him, voice getting quiet.]
You really think someone else really got my fuckin' heart, brother? You know it always been you.
Always. It ain't going nowhere else but you, Tav.
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He makes a face, but he honestly didn't look surprised when Eridan came up. So, he allowed him to drink his blood, and it escalated from there. The hickeys proves it, and since Gamzee decided to pretend that they didn't exist- he knew his assumptions are probably accurate.
Tavros closed his eyes and he ran his fingers through his hair. He said nothing.
It hurts. It hurts more than he ever thought it would, but Tavros will never forgive himself if he fell apart in front of Gamzee. He had no other choice but to repress his emotions, suck it up and keep it together. He couldn't even explain what he is feeling right now, but one thing for sure- it was very warm and difficult to breathe. He refused to give in, though. He refused to feel this amount of grief for someone that went behind his back and-
Gamzee went behind his back and he ... He went to Eridan and they ...
Tavros cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. ]
... Why.
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[Gamzee chewed his lip. The urge to reach out and touch Tavros was almost unbearable, and he had to stop himself every time his hands twitched to move forward.]
I... told you fuckin' why.
[His eyes searched Tavros' face for any indication of the boy's thoughts. He knew that he must have been thinking a thousand things at once. He'd known Tavros enough to understand that he chose his words carefully - something Gamzee was not so great at, sometimes.]
Say at me what be on your fuckin' mind. Like you all was after you motherfuckin' socked me one. Not just what you all be thinking the best thing to say.
[He scowled, stepping forward a little bit.]
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He felt angry, upset and betrayed and and .... the list goes on. The point is, he knew he was in no position to make any choices right now. He wanted to clear his mind, where he can actually sit down with himself and figure out what he needs to do about this. He tried punching Gamzee, that didn't work. Yelling didn't help either.
He knew talking might clear some issue, but he couldn't do it either. It was too painful. ]
I don't ... believe you.
[ He really really didn't want to say this, but it's how he felt right now. I guess after spending so many sweeps left in the shadows, it reached the point where it was truly challenging to know whether his matesprit is being honest or not. ]
You say you were helping a brother out, and you let him ... drink some of your blood. I get it, he's your bro. I don't have a problem with you doing that! Doing that only. But, the fact you were hiding it from me ...
... Do you honestly think that will make me believe that's the whole story? Trust me, I hope I'm wrong about this, It's just ...
I just don't know what to believe anymore. You always do shit behind my back, and I always wonder if I ... have done anything that made you feel I'm not worth the trust? And then it just comes to the painful reality that you will never fully accept who I am.
Because of my blood.
[ He shrugged. ]
I know you never said it, but I'm not stupid, bro. I know it bothers you. It bothers you a lot. And ... I don't know.
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[He toyed his now-swollen lip with his tongue.]
And feel it, too.
Tav...
[He took one more step forward, reaching out enough to touch the tips of his fingers to the back of one of Tavros' forearms, but not enough to drag them down and hold his hand. He was risking another pop to the mouth, but more importantly, he was risking scaring him off. After obtaining consent to move to a more private location (definitely not the scenario he'd had in mind when he'd first requested one), he slid his touch to the boy's back, following him up the stairs.]
Shit, you had some fuckin' harsh noise all bangin' in your pan for a while, I guess.
[Shame Gamzee never paid attention enough to notice. He continued to speak as they climbed.]
I ain't never thought... what you'd be all thinking on the blood shit like fuckin' that way. I...
[The fuck was he going to do? Deny it? It was actually partially true. His quadrants undoubtedly overrode his incredibly biased view of the hemospectrum, but that didn't erase the fact that he was a bigoted prick somewhere inside.]
[They'd reached a quieter place, all right. Tavros' room. After following his matesprit(?) into the space, Gamzee closed the door behind them. He turned to face the other boy, hands behind his back, still gripping the doorknob because he had no fucking clue what else to do with them.]
If you up and get yourself in motherfucking believin' on anything what I all was ever having said... have it be the thing what I was just yapping my flap at, and the thing that I guess I'll all be motherfuckin' saying again. 'Cause its trueness gotta be fuckin' preached in multiples.
[If they were going to talk about this, it was probably... probably going to end badly. Gamzee ran that scenario through his head, and if it ended up with Tavros refusing to listen to a word he said, then he'd better get what he wanted to be heard most off of his chest while he still could.]
Never have I ever been having no feelings of such redness directed at no one but motherfucking you. Since I been a little motherfucker I, uh?
Didn't think I was really ever gonna feel that way for no one in my life, to be motherfuckin' honest.
[He let out a breath, eyes slowly falling to Tavros' feet.]
'Til I fuckin' was up and gettin' my illest of realizes on at the fact what I all had so much motherfucking love for you that I hurt in my pump biscuit on it. Ain't never felt it before and won't never be feelin' on it never again for no other motherfucker, of that I be mother fucking certain.
[What else to say? He had so much... more... to say, so many plans and calculations and carefully worded excuses and... fucking hell, he honestly wanted to forget them all right now.]
Uh.
There's more but that be the biggest thing, mainly. You can fuckin' yell at me more, now.
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[ No yelling. His tone is surprisingly soft and understanding.
Regardless of everything, he knew the highblood wouldn't lie about this. He believed him when he said those words, and it brought some ease into the argument. But, that's not really solving anything. In fact, he is completely dodging the real issue here, which is Gamzee's typical approach in confrontations.
There is an awkward distance between them, but Tavros is now standing on the floor with his arms folded against his chest. His wings kept fluttering slowly as he tried to collect his words again. ]
I love you too. But, that's not the point here.
Don't ... avoid this. Don't fuck this up.
I need you not to fuck it up because I honestly don't know what to do right now! I don't know how I feel about this. I don't know if I can let it go and it scares me, okay?!
I don't want to feel this terrified, but I guess after spending all those sweeps with someone, you kinda get attached to them. That's how things go, right? You get all pathetic and stupid, and then you start to overlook things and give idiotic promises to yourself that everything will be better if you keep your mouth shut, and ... convince yourself that if you show enough support, stick around longer, maybe they will start feeling you more.
[ He paused for a bit, eyes on the ground. ]
So .. I will ask you, for the last time, Makara. I will trust and believe you this time because I know if you actually give a fuck about us, you'd be completely honest with me now.
... What really happened with Eridan?
[ One final time. ]
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[Time to think hard and not show that you're thinking hard. Instead, time to pull another worried expression out of your ass like you're really concerned about the moment and use the time that that buys you to formulate a game plan.]
[He didn't want to tell the truth. Admitting that was admitting that he fucked up. Gamzee fucked up on a daily basis, but it was an entirely different thing when someone actually called you out on it. He was able to hide a bunch of shit from Tavros that would probably land him in the doghouse, but the one time he gets frisky with someone else, he's fucking found out.]
[He should have covered his tracks better. What a fucking rookie mistake.]
[Habit told him to lie. Come up with a story, or stick to his original fabrication and insist on its truth. But... logic was telling him differently. The logical step would be to actually come clean. If he changed his story, it would be so fucking obvious that nothing he said could be taken seriously. If he insisted on the original lie... well, that shit obviously wasn't going over well with Tavros to begin with. Telling the truth would admit he'd lied in the beginning, but the fact that Tavros was asking him so calmly suggested that there was a slight chance he could worm his way out of this clusterfuck.]
I do... give a fuck about us, bro. I give a lot of motherfuckin' fucks. More fucks than all what I know how to up and motherfucking count, is all how many fucks there is.
[He took a breath, clicking his claws against the doorknob behind him nervously. Out with it. It'll make you look like a wholesome, honest troll. A trustworthy one. ...Even if the thing you're being honest about is how you were previously dishonest. Details.]
It was, like, like I was motherfuckin' saying at earlier, and shit. Wasn't fuckin' frontin' on that noise, yo. Asked for a bite, so a brother went to all be motherfuckin' obliging on it.
[Gamzee paused, shifting on his feet. He hadn't looked away from Tavros since he started confessing. Now he let go of the doorknob to walk a little farther into the room and shove those hands in his pockets.]
We fuck around, sometimes-- n-not in that way, fuck. [Oh, glorious word choice, there, Champ.] I mean, like, we fuck with each other, give each other all sorts of fuckin' crap, make the other motherfucker feel like shit. Shit like what that is.
[For fuck's sake, he never thought he'd be explaining his fucked up relationship with an Ampora from an entirely different universe to his matesprit. To anyone, really. He wasn't doing a good job of it, either.]
A-anyway, fuck. The fuck was I saying?
...He bit me, all had hisself some lunch. Fuckin'... dinner, what the fuck ever it motherfuckin' was.
[Jesus, stop rambling. You're only delaying the inevitable. Gamzee stopped again, closing his eyes and swallowing to regain his composure before continuing. This time, it was much more succinct.]
I liked it. He knew I fuckin' liked it, the motherfucker. Used it to fuckin' get me going. Ain't sayin' I didn't do no egging on my fuckin' self, though... It just... it ain't... it ain't nothing. Don't mean... nothing at fuckin' all.
We was just fuckin' around and it got out of hand somethin' wicked motherfucking fierce. All what happened be on this nugbone mine, though, plain as the motherfuckin' daylights.
[And, much to his own discomfort, Gamzee pulled his hair back with his hands, showing the two large bite marks, and the few hickeys that trailed themselves spottily down his neck.]
Don't want you to think nothing more up and went down, 'cause it fuckin' didn't. We got done and... that's fuckin' it.
[He looked back to Tavros. It was almost painful to do so. He... he didn't know what else to say. So, he just let his shoulders drop, one hand still trying to contain the mess of hair.]
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He didn't know what to do with himself. He was feeling a lot of emotions in the same time and it was killing his focus. Still, Tavros is smart enough to acknowledge that he is not allowed to make any choices right now. Despite all the temptation to scream it out, he refrained from doing so.
He is emotional right now. Cool it down. Take a breather and think.
He looks at Gamzee again and he shrugged. He looked so horribly feverish at this point. ]
... Of course it meant nothing to you. That's why you felt the need to hide it from me and then lie about it, right?
[ He turned to his side, taking a few steps forward with his hand pressed against his abdomen. ]
He had his lips all over you, and you ... enjoyed it. You liked it. You didn't see anything wrong with it. You didn't feel guilty. At that moment, you cared about no one but your fucking self.
The only reason you're saying all of this and apologizing because you've been caught. That's the only thing you're sorry for.
... You don't care about anyone but yourself.
[ Honestly, in this point he was merely speaking out what he had in mind. The tone and the expression in his face, though- as if he just came to the realization of how fucked up Gamzee is. Tavros looked like he was on the edge of losing it, and he forced himself to settled on the bed.
With his hands on his knees, the lowblood took in a breath and cleared his throat. ]
I think ... you should leave now. Y-Yes. You need to leave. Right now.
I want to be alone.
[ Also, it would be nice if you hurry up? Yeah. You are not allowed to see him like this. ]
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[Instead of protesting everything Tavros had thrown at him, he just stood in silence. At some parts, he even nodded, glowering at the floor. He knew he was fucked up. He knew he was thick and stupid and selfish and disgusting. He had tried to convince himself that he would keep Tavros safe from all of that - because the feeling of pity for him was something so unusual, he thought maybe he could separate that from all of the other bullshit inside of him. Evidently not.]
[Only when Tavros sat down on the bed did Gamzee lift his head, though only slightly. Just enough to look at him. He felt like someone had wedged an obnoxiously large piece of food in his wind chute. Tavros had told him to leave.]
[But...]
[Gamzee thought about how long they'd been together. How long they'd been stuck in this piece of shit tower, how much they'd changed. He knew he wasn't the same person he was when they first had gotten together. He knew he wasn't the person that Tavros had fallen in love with. To be truthful, some part of him wanted desperately to try and find him again, but... but, but, but. Always an excuse. He couldn't remember who exactly he was, because that part of him had been lost - drowned out by the screaming in his head and the insatiable urges to rip and tear and subjugate every fucking person and thing until they were below him. Until he had control over everything. So much control will quickly put you out of control, he'd found out, a little too late.]
[The interesting thing was, as much as he felt very little in terms of emotions right now, he still felt... something. It hurt in his gut. It brought out some wicked self-loathing that he thought he'd stamped out a long time ago. Couldn't be the best if you hated yourself.]
[He took a breath.]
[If he was going to have any hope of fixing this, if there even was any hope left for them, he was going to have to do something he was pretty sure was impossible.]
[He was going to have to find himself again.]
[No bullshit, no lies, no... ugh, for fuck's sake. He couldn't. That sopor-addled shitstain was something he never wanted to be again. Flitting around wherever the wind fucking took him... there was no control to be had in that. Completely defenseless.]
[But he would do it. He'd become someone he hated if it meant becoming someone Tavros loved.]
[Now, what would he do, if he was actually a person and not whatever it was that he'd fucking become? What would the little weak fucker in him do? ...He'd stay. The little shit.]
I don't... I don't all want you to fuckin' be alone, bro.
[He shifted on his feet. Ugh, this was pathetic.]
You can, like... you can motherfuckin' beat me the fuck up or throw shit or not even look at a motherfucker, but I just...
I don't want you to feel...
[Who the fuck was he to say this!? He'd hurt Tavros more than he ever had, and then refused to leave!? If he could be someone completely different right now, he would. The thought of Tavros completely alone and hurting just... he couldn't deal with that. Tentatively, he moved towards the bed, not even completing a step, just pressing his foot forward and leaning on it.]
I don't want you hurting more than all what I was already fucking making you.
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pretty sure this is the part where i ask myself "omg why the hell am i writing this in game"
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