animus_network | second vision: exhaustion

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second vision: exhaustion | text

If I'm right, it's coming up on a year for me since I arrived. Just about three more months, I think.

So, I'd like to pose a question to anyone who has been here longer than I:

How do you deal with it? How do you deal with the ennui, the endless stretches of nothing when the administrators aren't up to tricks? How do you deal with knowing you might never leave?

I had a purpose back home, but here I do not. I am not even a pawn anymore. It's a sad day when you miss being a pawn, isn't it?

Is this how a puppet feels when its strings are cut and it is thrown into the trash?

...Sorry. I just really needed to vent, in the end. Even if it was just over the network. Then again, it's kind of like the internet in that respect, when you think about it.

Thanks for hearing me out. Well, if you didn't, that's fine too. I know I probably sound like a whiny teenager. (Well, I AM a teenager, but that's beside the point, don't you think?) :)

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[He crouches down and holds out a hand to her.]

... Do you really think of yourself as a lousy sister? Because that is completely untrue.

T-thanks.

[Ugh, ow. She manages to stand up with Naoya's help.]

...Mm...maybe. It's pretty difficult to think otherwise when comparing oneself to, well, you. 'Sides, I kind of left things undone, back home.

You shouldn't. I have memories going back over fifty five hundred years. You have memories going back seventeen, if that. We're not in the same category.

[... He guides her to sit on one of the pews, and he sits on the one in front of her, turning around to rest his arms on the back of it.]

As for things left undone? You'll get to them.

[He sighs a little, and hunches his shoulders a bit.]

The me in your universe is very lucky to have you.

And...admittedly, most of those memories are of being in a hospital.

[Also the visions which make no sense when you are three.]

The world ended, though. I won't - I did it for nothing if that's the case.

[She looks up at the oth-- at Naoya, looking kind of like a lost puppy for a moment. She's surprisingly good at that. She then looks back down at the ground, at her hands.]

...I hope he thinks so himself, considering how much trouble I've been.

Despite reports, I don't think our worlds are gone. If that were so - if everything were dead - my curse would be broken, wouldn't it? He would be dead.

[Or, more terrifyingly, killing God won't break his curse. ... He tries not to think about that.]

Trust me. He's had worse. You're no trouble at all.

Mrrrr.

[That actually hadn't occurred to her. Unless...] Unless the admins ARE God, in which case we're doomed.

I doubt that's the case.

[Because just. No.]

It makes sense, though! Assuming the worlds actually ARE destroyed - all of them - then your curse should've broken the moment you woke up here. Since it isn't broken, that means the admins must be God! That, or whoever employs the admins is God.

[Naoya, welcome to Asako logic.]

... I think it's better to work under the assumption that they are not.

[Because that is both less depressing and actually an outcome he can think of how to fix.]

Awww, but thinking about it is so much fun! After all, if it's true, I just have to kill the admins and their employers and all the birds will be killed with one stone!

[:D]

... While entertaining, I don't think that will fix it.

[Forehead flick go!]

[Blah! Now she just looks sulky, but...at least she isn't talking mad things now.]

Fine, fine.

[He leans over and ruffles her hair fondly.]

It's been a while since we've just... talked, hm?

[She is not smiling at being hairruffled, really!]

Yeah, it really has.

[Yeah okay, little sister.]

What have you been getting up to? Anything I need to drag you out of?

I'm not that irresponsible! I do use logic, y'know!

[Yes, but what kind of logic?]

...Anyway, no, I haven't really been up to anything. Think that might be part of the problem...

Mm. You could help with gathering food. It's a Jason month, after all. And I'm sure people would appreciate it. I do also have things that you could do, but... it's up to you. I'm not going to force you.

[They're dangerous, anyway. And he's not sure if he wants to get her mixed up in this.]

...Mrrrrrrrr! That hadn't even occurred to me! Gah!

[And if Naoya wasn't already convinced that Asako Logic =/= Earth Logic...]

Well, if there's anything you need help with, I really would be glad to help. ...aaaas long as it doesn't lead to the tower blowing up with everyone still inside, that is. I'm drawing the line right there.

I assure you, that is not on my list. No, actually. There's someone I want you to meet. He's very... unsure about himself, and you seem to have a way of charming people. I won't force you to be friends, but I'd like to have an eye kept on him.

Fine, fine, that doesn't sound too difficult. Besides, we might end up friends anyway, who knows. Who is it?

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