second vision: exhaustion | text

[sawthelockdown]

If I'm right, it's coming up on a year for me since I arrived. Just about three more months, I think.

So, I'd like to pose a question to anyone who has been here longer than I:

How do you deal with it? How do you deal with the ennui, the endless stretches of nothing when the administrators aren't up to tricks? How do you deal with knowing you might never leave?

I had a purpose back home, but here I do not. I am not even a pawn anymore. It's a sad day when you miss being a pawn, isn't it?

Is this how a puppet feels when its strings are cut and it is thrown into the trash?


...Sorry. I just really needed to vent, in the end. Even if it was just over the network. Then again, it's kind of like the internet in that respect, when you think about it.

Thanks for hearing me out. Well, if you didn't, that's fine too. I know I probably sound like a whiny teenager. (Well, I AM a teenager, but that's beside the point, don't you think?) :)

Comments

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[warriorscribe]

Another human made immortal. I know your pain all too well. You have my deepest sympathy.

I think our lack of ability to know how things will turn out for certain helps us more than it hurts us. It means that our future belongs to us. If we had the ability to see everything that could be, we might become so focused on creating one of those specific outcomes that we would not realize the good in the others.

I would be wary of "pestering" our hosts. A large group of young men and women, many in fact children, had such an idea, and they were severely punished for it.

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[sawthelockdown]

Thanks. I haven't lived long enough for it to really tell, but it will someday.

True, but - if you can see the ways a thing can turn out, you can choose the actions that lead to the least damaging outcome.

Oh, I know that! I was one of them. :) Hurling the thing off one of the wall-less floors worked just fine~

[...Enoch, your relatives from the DeSu 'verse are all certifiably dotty. Congrats.]

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[warriorscribe]

No - my point was that even though you may be able to see the outcomes, how could you know which actions will lead to which? It may cause you to overthink what you do.

*...It's a good think Asako can't see Enoch facepalming here.*

Many more lost their lives. I would advise against doing that again, especially now that we know with complete certainty that death always ends with us at Jason's mercy.

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[sawthelockdown]

[That actually makes her think for a little bit. She...huh.]

All I knew for certain was what NOT to do in a specific situation...

All right, all right, I won't. But if the direct opportunity to punch Jason comes up again, I'm not holding back, unreadable power levels or no.

[wait what.]

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[warriorscribe]

I am not surprised they are able to hide from any superhuman senses.

*Senses like that don't faze Enoch. They happen. Not usually in humans but Asako wasn't entirely human anymore.

...Neither was he, he was sure, and he didn't have any such sense. Maybe it would come later.*