animus_network

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[The feed cuts on to a frantic-looking Nazi who's struggling to smile.]

Look. No, okay, look, ja? [He holds his hands up to the camera in a "calm down" motion.] There are three posts about that silly collar thing. Talk in those. Let us do something else now, okay?

[He lifts up a book.]

We are going to read some stories, then we may discuss them. That is fun und unrelated, right? Here, I will begin.

[He clears his throat.]

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'

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[Rabbit didn't care if it was a laugh or a gag, he just knew he was still mad]

Y-y-yeah lamp shades!

[Fire works? Rabbit took a few steps away from the machine, still shaking and sputtering and steaming... and let off a sudden jet of bright blue fire. It exploded outwards, filling up the hall with light, before he shut his jaws again and stormed back up to the terminal]

I'll t-t-t-turn ya into the hu-human torch! I'll burn ya to a c-c-c-crisp!

[Richtofen's eyes widen, and he leans away from the terminal. That's certainly not promising. Though his blood is boiling as hotly as that fire must be, he forces a stuttering giggle out of his throat and holds up his hands.]

Come now! Can- Can we not call a truce? I promise you, I have no ill will. [In a higher voice, he goes on:] None at all...!

[Ugh. He's resorted to practically begging. To an American. This is humiliation of the highest degree; the only thing worse than this would be actually letting the robot thing kill him.]

I d-d-d-don't trust ya as f-far as I can throw ya! [Which was actually pretty far, the automaton could lift a ton, literally]

You set o-o-one foot outta line an' I s-s-swear I'll b-b-break ya right in half! I'm wa-wa-watchin' you, Fritz!

[At least the robot hadn't promised to hunt the Nazi down. There was that at least, right?]

[Richtofen nods enthusiastically.]

Yes, yes, yes, of course! I will be good. I promise.

[He turns his head away and lifts an arm to scratch his ear, but only so that Rabbit won't be able to see the look of disgust that crosses his face. When he looks back at the camera, he's smiling again.]

You have nothing to worry about.

[There's the sound of heavy footsteps approaching Rabbit's terminal, and then--]

All right, that's enough. Come on, Rabbit.

[... Why yes, that is a possibly familiar silver automaton looking particularly stony-faced as he sweeps Rabbit up and hoists him over one shoulder. Yep. That just happened.]

[I'm sorry, did you want a massive temper tantrum? Because that's what's happening]

P-P-P-PUT ME DOWN! I'LL MU-MURDER HIM! I'LL T-T-T-TURN HIM INTO PA-PATE! I'LL CHUCK HIM OFF THE STAIRS! PUT ME D-D-DOWN SPINE!

IT AIN'T FA-FA-FAIR!

[Blinking.

Staring.

ALL RIGHTY THEN.]

Um... Didn't we-?

[You know what, he's not even going to press the matter. It figures they would know each other. It figures.]

All you're doin' is workin' yourself up, you're not gonna murder anyone. [Said in an even tone. He's seen too many tantrums to be fazed by this one.] We're goin'.

[All robuts know each other, it's true. Particularly the American ones that interrupt story time.

The Spine glances at the screen, expression unchanging.]

Sure did.

[... And he turns to carry Rabbit away from the terminal.]

IT A-A-A-AIN'T FAIR! LEMME AT HIM, SPINE! I GO-GOTTA GET HIM!

[He writhed and wriggled, kicking and flailing magnificently as he tried to dislodge himself from his brother's grip. Easier said than done of course, this was Spine we were talking about, but he could still try!]

SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

[They're both robots, and they're both the first people to call him out for his outfit, but that's neither here nor there. If you'll excuse Richtofen, he won't be responding any more. He'll have his face buried in his book while he tries and fails not to laugh.

That robot is a lot less threatening when he's being dragged away in a fit. How satisfying!]

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