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[doctor_dismemberment]

[The feed cuts on to a frantic-looking Nazi who's struggling to smile.]

Look. No, okay, look, ja? [He holds his hands up to the camera in a "calm down" motion.] There are three posts about that silly collar thing. Talk in those. Let us do something else now, okay?

[He lifts up a book.]

We are going to read some stories, then we may discuss them. That is fun und unrelated, right? Here, I will begin.

[He clears his throat.]

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'

Comments

[ghostytrainer]

that story does not sound fun.
unrelated, yes. but fun, no.
that's "tale of two cities," isn't it?
snoooorrrrreeee.

[doctor_dismemberment]

'...it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of-'

[Richtofen glances up at the screen, and the smile falls off of his face. He narrows his eyes.]

Oh, it was the first damned book I grabbed! [He slams it shut.] Do you have any better suggestions, unsatisfied blue texty man?

[video]

[stop_calling_me_zelda]

[Ricky, you've intrigued the child.]

How can it be the best of times and the worst of times?

[No seriously, she actually looks interested.]

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[doctor_dismemberment]

It... [He wrinkles his nose and frowns down at the book.] I don't know. Perhaps this author is bipolar? Maybe they have a split personality?

[He scratches his chin with one gloved finger as he tries to puzzle it out.]

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[marriedthebloke]

I suggest reading something shorter. Unless you are trying to read the abridged version.

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[doctor_dismemberment]

It was the first fucking book I-!

[Richtofen stops himself and takes in a deep breath. It's supposed to be calming, but it doesn't really work. He smiles a perky, tense smile.]

Okay. I will find a different one. A better one.

[text]

[nobarnacles]

Is this some sort of joke? Because it looks like a complete waste of time.

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[Something in Richtofen's jaw shifts, and he loses his smile for a minute, but it's back on his face before too long.]

You, texty person, there. Not blue texty person, other texty person. [He points at the screen like it'll somehow give people an indication of who he's talking to.] You mean my post? Or all of the other ones?

Because, I assure you... [He laughs unsteadily and waves a hand in front of his face. There's little humor in the sound.] ...I am being completely serious. Do you have ein problem with this?

[Text]

[tohko_amano]

..While I'm normally against you, I have to say that reading a good book is preferable to having foolish arguments. I'm just going to listen to you awhile, alright? Dickens is so delicious..hearing it read out loud is like smelling a wonderful meal of fish being prepared.

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[He stares at the screen with a blank look on his face for a few moments, mouth opening and closing like - ironically enough - a fish. How else do you respond to someone who just compared a book to food?]

...Uh.

[He shrugs, looks down, and continues where he left off before John interrupted him up there.]

'It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of credulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness-' Augh, can this person make up their mind? 'It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair...'

[Video]

[evokingfool]

[After checking the other responses...]

"Tale of Two Cities"?

[In case anyone asks, nope, he haven't read it.]

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Yes. [Richtofen shrugs and turns it over in his hand.] I have never read it. Er- Maybe in college? I can't really remember...

[He turns his gaze on Minato.]

Why, you like it? Hate it? Want to see me hit someone with it? Because I am game for that if you are.

[Video]

[mostremaining]

[At first Prussia thought, "Oh, another German!" but then he got a closer look, and... uh... that uniform. Nazis. Not good.]

Ja? Uh... you're German, aren't you? And obviously part of the military. World War II's military, right? Just guessing here.

[He's just that nervous over dealing with a Nazi after 70-some years.]

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[Richtofen blinks. What a weird question to be asked right out of the blue. But it's unrelated to the collar issue, so he's happy to talk about it.]

The Wehrmacht, to be precise. [He gives a curt, somewhat proud nod.] I was a Major General.

[idkworldruler]

Oh god, this isn't the musical version is it?

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Richtofen heaves a great sigh.]

Does it sound like I am singing?

[Video]

[kindofademon]

How much of this are we going to read? 'Cause no offense to your taste but that's kind of a long one.

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Always criticizing the doctor's choice of-!

[When he sees who it is on the screen, his disposition changes instantly. He gives a friendly smile, and his voice is just as welcoming.]

Oh, hello there, Ryuunosuke. It has been a long time! [A beat, where his eyes flick down to Ryuunosuke's body.] You clean up well.

["Clean up" here means "you're no longer dying with a sizzling wound in your chest."]

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[culbutiri]

[Oh Richtofen, she smirks, and even replies to this one not anonymously]

I did no be knowing reading did be being your thing? Unless these worst of times did be including brains and guts.

Or would that be being the best of times?

video; 1/2

[doctor_dismemberment]

[Richtofen laughs, and chimes back in that high, high voice of his.]

Oh, the best of times, definitely! Ahaha-

video; 2/2

[doctor_dismemberment]

Wait, what do you mean, you did not know reading is being- [He shakes his head. Goddamnit, her vocal tics are getting contagious.] -is my thing?

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[blackwitch]

We-ll, I guess I can't blame you for the choice of story! [ She giggles. Evatrice is so easily pleased when it comes to stuff like this.. ]

As long as heads roll it's fine, ri~ght?

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Wait. Heads roll? [Richtofen begins flipping ahead in the book in an attempt to find something like that.] Oh, decapitations would make this story infinitely better...!

[He seems a little bit too excited.]

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[awfulsentimetal]

[Is that a NAZI?! Reading Dickens? Oh, that's just all kinds of wrong right there.]

Interestin' choice of book there. Couldn't find somethin' from your neck of the woods?

[Mein Kampf, maybe?]

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[Richtofen stops, raises an eyebrow, and regards the strange-looking fellow with a look that falls just short of being offended.]

My neck of the woods? Pray tell, what do you mean?

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[spaghettiinmysoul]

[All Rabbit did was walk by a terminal.

That's all he had to do to get mad today]

Whadderya doin' we-we-wearin' that outfit, bu-buddy?

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[Richtofen stops reading and looks down at himself. He examines his outfit for anything out of place, but, when he sees everything's in order - if you ignore the stitched-up holes and bloodstains here and there - he blinks in confusion.]

Um. [He shrugs.] I was reading A Tale of Two Cities. Why?