[Text/Locked from Willow Rosenberg]

[wwaterboy]

i dont use this netwwork vvery much
but i guess i should do this or so it seems i dont knoww

i just havve a question an i dont really knoww anyone to ask so maybe some fuckin strangers can answwer it wwhatevver
this is probably a bad idea

so uh
howw does romance wwork for humans?
i knoww you dont havve quadrants
but i thought i should check if theres more to it than that since i find myself in a certain position wwith a member a your species

an dont tell wwilloww i asked this
i knoww she asked a similar question a the collectivve you about troll romance but she didnt tell me until later an i hadnt thought to ask myself so i wwant to keep this on the dowwn loww for obvvious reasons

Comments

[agoodoffen2e]

awwww doe2 ed have a cru2h on a human?

[wwaterboy]

no i dont havve a crush
ivve got an actual goddamn matesprit not that its any a your business

[agoodoffen2e]

aww cuute
are you goiing two iintroduce me to them ever?

[wwaterboy]

you wwant to meet her

[agoodoffen2e]

why wouldn't ii?
ii need to make 2ure my kii2me2ii2 ii2 beiing treated riight

[wwaterboy]

shed nevver treat me badly!
anywway youvve probably met her before havvent you?
or wwas that the other sol she mentioned meetin one a you before

[agoodoffen2e]

well that depend2
who ii2 2he?

[wwaterboy]

wwilloww

[agoodoffen2e]

pretty 2ure ii've never met a giirl named wiillow.
how'd you meet her? wa2 2he fii2hiing or 2omethiing?

[wwaterboy]

no
wwell
i ran into her pretty much by accident wwhen she first arrivved an wwe just got to talkin
an shes a powwerful wwitch i mean really fuckin powwerful an nothin to be trifled wwith
so she transformed herself so she had gills an wwe wwent on a midnight swwim in the pool wwhich wwas pretty much wwhat told me that fate wwas wworkin its magic on a metaphorical levvel
wwhy
are you jealous or somethin?

[agoodoffen2e]

no ii'm ju2t tryiing two 2ee iif you're pathetiic enough two make up haviing a mate2priit.
whiich ii2 about what iit 2ound2 liike.

[wwaterboy]

evven if you dont pity me doesnt mean i cant be pitied
ivve evven got a moirail you knoww
not that thats any a your business either

[agoodoffen2e]

ii defiiniitely know you can be piitiied.
you're pretty fuckiing pathetiic ed no matter how you 2liice iit.
ii ju2t mean the wiitch thiing and the giill2 thiing.
ii had no iidea that you were iintwo that kiind of fakey fake magiic 2hiit.

[wwaterboy]

shut up
you dont havve the right to call me pathetic
anywway she likes my gills
at least
i think she does she hasnt said specifically
an she really is a wwitch!
ivve seen proof wwith my owwn eyes that at least in this instance its not fakey fake at all

[agoodoffen2e]

so do people compliimentiing your giill2 turn you on or 2omethiing?
becau2e fuck iif you are not hung up on that.

before ii beliieve you about the magiic ii'll probably need two 2ee iit my2elf.
you 2hould tell her to meet me and demon2traiit what 2he can do.

[wwaterboy]

so wwhat if i wwant people to like my gills
ivve got them dont i so wwhy wwouldnt i wwant my concupiscent quadrants to like them
you like my fins dont you?
not that youvve seen my gills an im content to leavve things like that if youre gonna be a douchefin about them

you dont havve to talk to her
you can talk to me
i can showw you the evvidence myself if you wwant

[agoodoffen2e]

your fiin2 are pretty cute and ii defiiniitely wouldn't miind gettiing two 2ee your giill2 at 2ome poiint.
and ii won't even be a douchefiin.

oh really?
and what 2ort of eviidence do you have?

[wwaterboy]

youre alwways a douchefin
but maybe i could see my wway clear to lettin you see my gills at some point
not sayin wwhen

wwouldnt you just like to knoww
its the sort a thing that ivve got to showw i cant just tell you here on this stupid husktop thing
thats just not the right wway to go about it

[agoodoffen2e]

waiit 2eriiou2ly?
2hiit ii thought you'd never 2ay that

and you iin your room?
you can't keep feediing my curiio2iity liike thii2 unle22 you can 2how me riight now.

[wwaterboy]

wwell wwe are in a concupiscent quadrant
its expected to happen sooner or later

yes im in my room
alone right noww
guess youd better come vvisit

[agoodoffen2e]

yeah but ii wa2 fiiguriing you'd keep freakiing out about iit.
but hey iif you tru2t me two come vii2iit whiile you're alone, maybe ii 2ome have hope yet.
ii'll 2ee you iin a biit.

[Text] --> [Action]

[wwaterboy]

wwhy shouldnt i trust you wwhen wwere alone wwevve been alone before
oh
nevvermind
ill just wwait

[And when Sollux arrives, Eridan answers the door, looking slightly nervous, but determined]

Took you long enough.

[Action]

[agoodoffen2e]

Thorry I didn't run to you, your majethty.

[Action]

[wwaterboy]

[Huff.] Maybe you should be sorry. [He steps back into the middle of the room, putting his hands on his hips] Or maybe I'm bein' an upstart salt licker, wwhat do you think?

[Action]

[agoodoffen2e]

Do I need to make thure you don't thtart anything? [Smirk. He'd never admit it, but he kind of likes Eridan's new confidence.]