animus_network | [002 ★ text ★ crazy backdated to before the moving event]

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[ou] willow rosenberg

[002 ★ text ★ crazy backdated to before the moving event]

Someone told me that all of the trolls are having trouble sleeping here. I think I can help.

I've made sleep satchets before, these little things that you put under your pillow and guarantee pleasant dreams for a couple months before they run out. The problem is that I only came with so many spell ingredients in my trunk, so unless I can find a way to replace some of this stuff, I can't make these forever.

Not that asking this question will necessarily result in anything resembling the truth, but: does anyone need one more than anyone else?

Asking all this out of the goodness of my heart and preferential treatment, I promise.

[filtered from wwaterboy]

And now to the other part of this post. Also to trolls, sorry. If someone could explain how this matesprit thing actually compares with the human concept of romance, that would be seriously of the good, because I don't know what I'm doing here and I think I need more than the ten second summary if I am going to be doing this.

Which, let me repeat, since I don't know what I'm doing, no judging or yelling at me! I will yell back. That is so not what I need right now. I'm trying to do the right thing and honor my feelings and not stay all hung up on people that have died, which is difficult! But I've never done this "oh, and he also hatesexes someone regularly, but that's not cheating" concept before, and I want to get it right.

It seems bitchy to ask him to explain this stuff to me himself, so... advice. Please? And if you could honor the incredibly obvious filter, that would be great. Don't make me go hacker on you.

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hEH, yES,
oUR QUADRANTS ARE, uH, oBVIOUS FOR US TOO,
sO MAYBE, sTART SIMPLE,
uH, tHE MOST OBVIOUS THINGS FIRST,
aND WE CAN, wORK FROM THERE,
fOR INSTANCE, i GUESS i'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY "more fluid",
oR HOW YOU CAN, hAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT A LABEL ON IT,

Okay, simple first. There's basically three types of positive relationships: friends, family, and your significant other. You can have as many friends as you want, but there's usually a couple that you're a lot closer to than anyone else. Family are the people you're born into and grow up with. Significant other is boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and so on.

The tricky part is that these aren't hard and fast rules. Your mom can be your best friend, your best friend could become your boyfriend, you can be adopted into a family that you aren't blood related to. It can get pretty murky. Even when I say things like "humans aren't into hatesex" or "we only have one significant other at a time", that's not true for everyone. Some people have multiple boyfriends and girlfriends and they're all okay with that. It's not the norm, but it happens.

So this whole, we have four quadrants and there's one person in each quadrant and they have names and rules and labels, thing... it's kinda funky from my perspective.

aLRIGHT,
hMM,

[Well he... doesn't understand what 'blood related' could possibly mean. Maybe something like... they're close to everyone who has the same blood color as them? That sounds like a lot of people though... He could ask of course but uh... he is pretty firmly against learning anything more about human families ever since finding out they grow their wigglers inside themselves lkasdjf So, he'll start... here: ]

wELL, uH, fIRST i GUESS,
oNE OF THE QUADRANTS INVOLVES TWO OTHER PEOPLE,
bUT THAT ONE IS MOSTLY, tO PREVENT CHEATING ON YOUR KISMESIS,
sO YOU PROBABLY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH,
uH,
cHEATING IS, nOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHEN YOU HAVE BOTH A MATESPRIT AND A, kISMESIS,
iN CASE THAT, wASN'T CLEAR,

[Another pause... Only kind of gets the human friend thing. Hearing the way everyone else talks about their friends like they're something important and good gives him something of an idea what they mean, but the thought is still pretty foreign to him, so it might confuse this flushed troll of hers too... Just trying to fill in gaps, excuse the rambling]

pROBABLY IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO MENTION THAT,
wE HAVE, fRIENDS TOO SOMETIMES,
uSUALLY THEY AREN'T A GOOD THING TO HAVE, fOR US THOUGH,
sOMETIMES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, bUT THAT IS THE GENERAL RULE,
aLSO, i GUESS KIND OF IN THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT,
wE CONFUSE OUR QUADRANTS A LOT AS WELL,
eSPECIALLY WHEN WE'RE YOUNG, iT'S, uH, hARD TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN,
sAY,
fLUSHED PITY, aND CONCILIATORY PITY,
aND SOME PEOPLE HAVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT FLIP, bETWEEN RED AND BLACK FOR A LONG TIME,
bEFORE THEY SETTLE ON ONE OR THE OTHER,
oR, uH, sPLIT UP, iF THAT IS THE BETTER SOLUTION,
i GUESS i SHOULD SAY, eVERY RELATIONSHIP IS UNIQUE,
sO, wHILE YES, wE DO HAVE RULES AND LABELS, aTTACHED TO EACH QUADRANT,
dIFFERENT PEOPLE STILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT, wHAT WORKS FOR THEM, iNDIVIDUALLY,
i THINK POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE, iT SOUNDS LIKE,
iS THAT WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT, wHICH QUADRANT SOMEONE FITS INTO,
bECAUSE THE, fEELINGS INVOLVED IN EACH ONE ARE USUALLY, pRETTY DISTINCT,
aND WHEN THEY GET MIXED UP, pEOPLE CAN GET HURT REALLY BADLY,
wHERE AS HUMANS ARE APPARENTLY, oKAY WITH THEM MIXING,
bECAUSE THAT DOESN'T CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS FOR THEM,
wOULD THAT BE A, uH, cORRECT THING TO SAY,

[...wow this is harder then he expected lkjsdf And okay, he really doesn't know what to say about people who have more then one 'significant other' thing... but that doesn't seem to be a thing she's interested in anyway, so he'll just... store it away to ask about sometime later... Also, wait, now that he's done trying to compare romances for a second, what is this that keeps coming up]

aND, uH, yOU'VE SAID THOSE FOUR THINGS BEFORE,
bOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND HUSBAND WIFE,
bUT i DON'T REALLY, kNOW WHAT ANY OF THEM ARE,
sINCE APPARENTLY THEY AREN'T QUADRANTS,
aND ALSO TWO OF THEM ARE SPECIFIC TO GENDER,
wHICH SEEMS WEIRD, tO ME,
iS YOUR POTENTIAL MATESPRIT, gOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS, tO YOU,
oR MAYBE ALL OF THEM,

[Five different labels for the same concept seems kind of excessive to him though. Ehhhhhh, confusion everywhere]

That's auspisticizing, right? Did I spell that correctly? Someone else was clearing all that up for me. I think he was kinda offended that I implied having both a matesprit and a kismesis was cheating, but I get that it isn't like that for trolls. Totally different feelings, he said. [Not that she knows how to feel about that herself yet or anything.]

Whoa, why wouldn't friends be a good thing? I'm starting to think I need to make a PSA explaining human friendship to all of you.

But okay, getting things confused and needing to work it out for yourself is something I understand right away. Sometimes humans are okay with them mixing, but sometimes they aren't supposed to and it ends with jealousy and your best friend's girlfriend falling through some stairs and getting impaled on a pole, so I don't recommend it, generally, at least in terms of romance mixing. (Friendship is never romance for humans, by the way. That is a big no no.) But a lot of the time... yeah, I get what you're saying, and I think you're right.

As for the last thing... Significant other means the person you're dating. Almost every human you meet will want to have just one. Also, we can only reproduce with a male/female pair, so biology and society strongly encourages male/female dating-- that's why they're divided by gender. Boyfriend/girlfriend are unmarried, and husband/wife are married, with both of those being male/female. Marriage means you've committed to someone for the rest of your life, and intend to never date anyone else aside from them your whole life long.

The human sexuality lecture is a long one, though. Just because heterosexuality is the accepted norm (male/female) doesn't mean gay stuff doesn't happen (male/male, female/female). Heck, up until yesterday I thought I was only into the ladies, but based on Eridan's reaction to that, I'm not sure trolls can really appreciate the idea. [And she was aching to talk to a plain old human about her sexual self-identity mini-crisis.] Anyway... I'd think of him as my boyfriend if we were going out, yeah. I just use your new-fangled troll terminology because it's convenient when talking to all of you.

yES, bOTH OF THOSE THINGS ARE CORRECT,
aUSPISTICIZING, tHE ASHEN QUADRANT,
aND THE TWO FEELINGS ARE DEFINITELY, cOMPLETELY DIFFERENT,
wHICH IS WHY, rELATIONSHIPS THAT REACHAROUND USUALLY DO NOT END WELL,

uH, fRIENDS ARE NOT GOOD BECAUSE,
hM,
wELL, iDEALLY YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR QUADRANTMATES,
aND THEN ANY PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE SECONDARY,
fRIENDSHIP, mUDDLES THAT UP,
sINCE THEY ARE NOT REALLY PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS,
bUT THEY ARE ALSO NOT ROMANCE,
tHEY ARE, uH, pEOPLE WHO CAN BE, cONFUSING FOR LOYALTIES,
jEALOUSY CAN BECOME A THING, pRETTY QUICKLY, aMONGST YOUR CONCILIATORY QUADRANTS ESPECIALLY,
aND VERY OFTEN, tHE FRIEND WILL END UP HURTING YOU IN A WAY THAT, mAYBE, yOUR MOIRAIL CAN'T HELP WITH,
aND THEN PROBABLY EVERYONE INVOLVED GETS CULLED FOR, eMOTIONAL INSTABILITY,
aND FAILING TO BE, pRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY,
sO FRIENDS ARE NOT REALLY A THING, tHAT PEOPLE USUALLY WANT,
iN MY EXPERIENCE,
bUT i THINK IT'S DIFFERENT FOR HUMANS, sINCE YOU SEEM MUCH MORE WILLING TO,
hELP EACH OTHER,
wHICH DOESN'T GENERALLY HAPPEN TO US, eITHER,

[Trust is really a thing only given to quadrantmates, and it is hard won even then. Adding another person to the usual five is really just a good way to make yourself vulnerable to betrayal and emotional pain which... well, trolls are not especially good at dealing with. This seems obvious to him even if maybe he doesn't think about it in terms of trust...]

bUT, uH, aNYWAY,
i'M GLAD THAT, yOU AGREE,
pROBABLY YOU WILL HAVE TO TALK WITH HIM, tO FIGURE IT OUT,
bUT i THINK YOU WILL BE FINE, aS LONG AS HE IS ALSO, oPEN MINDED,

[And now there is a long... long... pause... Because WOW those entire last two paragraphs are filled with a whole lot of Weird Human Shit That Doesn't Really Make Sense]

i,
uHHHHHH,
bUT, wHY WOULD YOU ONLY, bE INTERESTED IN WOMEN,
wAIT, wHY CAN YOU ONLY REPRODUCE,

[NO STOP. HE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HOW HUMAN WIGGLERS ARE MADE!!!! IT'S NASTY ENOUGH WHAT HE DOES KNOW]

i MEAN,
bUT,
wAIT, wHAT IS MARRIAGE,
dOES THAT MEAN, yOU CAN STILL HAVE OTHER ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS,
aS LONG AS YOU AREN'T MARRIED,
tHAT MAY BE A, uH, pROBLEM,
sINCE MATESPRITS, aRE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER AS LONG AS POSSIBLE,
aND THERE ISN'T ANY, pRELIMINARY, tESTING PHASE, oR,
wHATEVER, a BOYFRIEND IS,

[????????????????]

Sounds harsh. You have a major thing about trusting each other, don't you? It sounds like there's a lot of troll vs. troll, and okay, there's a lot of human vs. human, too, but if we get threatened by something else we're pretty quick to turn that into humans vs. the world. We do tend to work together in groups and trust each other, even against ourselves.

He seemed like he was being open and patient. I feel sorta skeevy talking about it all behind his back... I definitely need to talk to him about it soon.

I'll spare you the reproduction details. Suffice to say humans aren't raised to be bisexual, and most of them actually think it's a bit weird (not that I do! I very, very much don't). I don't know if I can really explain it in a way that makes sense.

It's different for everyone (again). Some people think of boyfriends and girlfriends as a preliminary testing phase, and some people might as well be married to theirs. Marrying someone is kind of like a public declaration? It's a lot more hassle to break up with your husband or wife than your boyfriend or girlfriend. But you still just have one at once! So that shouldn't be a problem, I don't think?

uH,
wELL i WOULDN'T, cALL IT A TRUST ISSUE, i GUESS,
jUST, nECESSARY CAUTION,
tROLL VS TROLL IS, dEFINITELY A THING THAT HAPPENS A LOT,
wE ARE, pROBABLY OUR OWN WORST ENEMY,
wHICH IS SOMETHING i'M HOPING WILL CHANGE,
eVENTUALLY,

[After the revolution... Hmm, he has so many plans and barely any time to do them in. lksjdflkj being a lowblood sucks why is he thinking about this. Okay move along]

yES, cOMMUNICATION IS DEFINITELY, kEY,
bUT PROBABLY YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL SKEEVY,
sINCE i IMAGINE YOU TWO WILL HAVE, mORE ISSUES TO WORK THROUGH,
tHEN MOST,
aND IT IS GOOD TO BE PREPARED,

[...well that's really... not at all optimistic of you there, Summoner. Good job]

tHAT'S, okAY,
iT SOUNDS LIKE, mAYBE, a THING THAT i DO NOT REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND, aNYWAY,
pEOPLE STRUGGLE ENOUGH WITH SERENDIPITY ON ALTERNIA,
tHAT IGNORING HALF OF EVERYONE SEEMS LIKE, uH, bAD LUCK AT BEST,

yES, i GUESS,
aS LONG AS YOU ARE WITH HIM, aND, uH, oNLY HIM,
tHEN IT PROBABLY, wON'T MATTER TOO MUCH, tO HIM,

I hope it changes, too. You shouldn't have to live like that-- none of you.

[It might not be optimistic, but Willow appreciates the honesty.] I'll try to not feel skeevy. I want to be honest with him, but I don't want to hurt him, you know? That's the opposite of what I want. And throwing all of my issues at him at once just seems mean. I don't even know how serious I am yet!

I can see what you mean about ignoring half of everyone, but humans tend not to think of it that way. It can be kinda nice, actually, to have a friend that you know would never see you romantically. It's safe and uncomplicated.

I hope so. It would be him and only him. There was someone at home that I was kind of interested in, but she was... I don't know. It's all so complicated.

[...hm. He doesn't think the first bit needs responding to. If she knows him at all, she'll know he's agreeing wholeheartedly if perhaps with a grim sort of determination]

yOU DON'T,
hAVE YOU, tOLD HIM YOU'RE FLUSHED FOR HIM, yET,
tHAT MAY BE A GOOD THING TO, fIGURE OUT FIRST IF NOT,

i GUESS, i WILL TAKE YOUR WORD, fOR IT,
sINCE i THINK PERSONALLY, tHAT WOULD FEEL THE, oPPOSITE OF SAFE, tO ME,

[For reasons mentioned previously...]

dO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO,
iF SHE ENDED UP HERE,

I've told him I'm thinking about it, and that I don't really know what I'm doing, and it's pretty obvious that he's interested. But he said he was willing to wait for me to figure it out. He didn't even say that like he was just saying it to say it, but like he really meant it, too, which is just... wow. Major wow.

There's just a lot of expectations with romance. Not that it isn't great, but it does get complicated.

If Kennedy ended up here? I don't know. She was there for me when I was going through something really hard, but... I don't think of her and my heart flutters. I was so lost in grieving Tara when we met that I feel like how I think of her is all wrapped up in that.

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[002 ★ text ★ crazy backdated to before the moving event]

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