animus_network | One Smuppet [Text/Action]

[If you're in room 2 - 10 then you are perfectly free to bother him. He's already woken up and gotten acquainted with one roommate of his and now he's not doing a whole lot. It's a good time to introduce yourself, if you want.]
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[Network Post]

so.
id really just like to know who the actual fuck has enough power to remove somebody from am sburb session.
like im not an expert on sburb or anything.
but that shit seems like it should be impossible.
and way to go dipshits but the earth was already destroyed.
and youre not the one who did that.
so there we go ive caught you in your fucking lie.
but its whatever.
ill go along with it for now.
i mean youve clearly got the most sugoi of fashion senses.
white spandex.
yellow collar.
i just feel so goddamn beautiful in it you have no idea.
k but seriously im pissed off.
i go from one shitty situation to the next.
when the hell does a bro get a break.
apparently the answer to that is never.
fuck me i need a beer.
where can i find a beer.
please tell me this place has fucking booze.

also dave.
you here.
because if youre not.

im wrecking their shit.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wow.

Just wow. You have major self esteem issues, don't you? I mean, to the point that it's almost depressing.

Almost.

I mean you'd have to buy me a drink first before I start really having feelings up in my kokoro.

...more than depressin', I consider it fair warnin'.

[A snort. And here, have some more flat deadpanning:]

I'm almost afraid 'a askin' what the fuck's a kokoro. Are we goin' to start talkin' about gross human reproduction again? Because if that's a thing we're doin', I'm gonna stick my fingers into my ears an' repeat the words "timeloops justify this fuckery" in a really high pitched, mildly panicked voice til you're done.

[Pause.]

An' then I'm gonna go puke everythin' I've eaten in the past two days.

Edited 2012-07-11 04:26 (UTC)

Wow holy fuck oh my god no, dude. No. First of all, are we even sexually compatible? I mean, not that I'm averse to finding out, but like. Wow, you're jumping to conclusions faster than a whore getting down on her knees.

[Just. This face. For a long moment. And then.]

...ew.

Hey, you started it, I was just finishing it.

I can show you my kokoro if you're curious.

Edited 2012-07-11 04:41 (UTC)

[Flatly.]

An' I can shoot your fuckin' head off, but I think it's best if neither 'a us does.

Oh. Oh. Haaah.

It's cute that you think you can land a hit on me. Adorable, really. But c'mon, I know you're just dying to get a peek at my kokoro.

Um, no. Not really.

[Innocently.]

An' I probably could, but Jade would kill me for it. You're not supposed to shoot the bro 'a bro even if it's the wrong bro.

Are you suuuure?

Also, no. No, you really couldn't. I promise. It's still really, really cute that you think you can. Oh nooo, I think the kokoro's starting to go doki doki because it's that cute.

...pretty fuckin' sure.

[A shudder turn shrug.]

Eh, doesn't really matter though.

[He opens his mouth. Reconsiders the value of Good to see you alive and for once in his sorry life decides to shut it without sticking his foot so far down his throat it comes out of his nose.]

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