One Smuppet [Text/Action]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[If you're in room 2 - 10 then you are perfectly free to bother him. He's already woken up and gotten acquainted with one roommate of his and now he's not doing a whole lot. It's a good time to introduce yourself, if you want.]
-
[Network Post]

so.
id really just like to know who the actual fuck has enough power to remove somebody from am sburb session.
like im not an expert on sburb or anything.
but that shit seems like it should be impossible.
and way to go dipshits but the earth was already destroyed.
and youre not the one who did that.
so there we go ive caught you in your fucking lie.
but its whatever.
ill go along with it for now.
i mean youve clearly got the most sugoi of fashion senses.
white spandex.
yellow collar.
i just feel so goddamn beautiful in it you have no idea.
k but seriously im pissed off.
i go from one shitty situation to the next.
when the hell does a bro get a break.
apparently the answer to that is never.
fuck me i need a beer.
where can i find a beer.
please tell me this place has fucking booze.

also dave.
you here.
because if youre not.


im wrecking their shit.

Comments

[TEXT]

[chronomancer]

wwoww okay lets go in order

takin people out a sburb/sgrub? apparently gets easier each time
theres a fuckload a us around

destroyed wworld? make that more like Univverse actually

sugoi fashion sense? i havve no fuckin clue wwhat the fuck sugoi evven means
but im gonna hope its a wweird human wword for shitty as fuck

beer an booze? pretty sure theres none around
sorry

davve? davve is here
im roommin wwith the guy
but he threatens to Punch Me In The Face
if i call him anythin other than davvid
you a friend a his?
you dont type like any a his friends

oh
or maybe youre from Another Univverse an youre lookin for Another Davve
god
i fuckin keep forgettin about keepin multiple realities straight
thats the stuff only a Space player should havve to wwworry about
fuck

uh
is that all?
also
hi

[TEXT]

[plushaeusrumpified]

wouldnt have it any other way.
you lead ill follow.

what.

what.

sugoi means amazing.

what.

what the fuck.

what even the actual what fuck.

also hello there.

Re: [TEXT]

[chronomancer]

neat
Lets See

yep

pretty much

sarcasm then
ill sit here an believve that wwas sarcasm
because anyone wwho thinks that Crime Against Fashion is amazin
deservves a fuckin Headshot
no questions asked

yeah
gotta keep it all Kid Friendly ya knoww
monsters an all kind a gory horrors? awwesome
booze? oh my god Think A The Children

that is in fact the Most Appropriate Reaction
wwhen it comes to davvid lalonde

oh yeah
guess wwhat
theres not only entirely different timelines for shit
theres also Entirely Different Univverses

names eridan
got somethin to call you besides The WWhat Man?
though to be fair
you do wwhat rather Nicely

[knightime]

[Please wait while I spam and Dave has a mental freakout over everything.]

[knightime]

[NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE. You're dead. You're supposed to be dead. Why are you alive?

Wait this isn't a bad thing.

It's a terrible thing. Dave isn't ready for this. He just got returned from being a shitty wind up toy and fuck Fuckkkk.]

[knightime]

[He doesn't want Bro here. Bro would see how uncool he's gotten.

And Bro would have to deal with all this shit. What is he supposed to do?]

[knightime]

[Maybe...he should just not reply to Bro. Pretend he isn't here.

Fat chance that will work.]

[knightime]

[Shit.]

okay no im done welp

[knightime]

youre late
ive been chilling here for months
reading working up a fanbase and everything
took you long enough to get here
leaving a bro hanging and all
but crisis adverted
no shit has to be wrecked now

cries quietly

[plushaeusrumpified]

months?
now i know theyre lying harder because if they took you.
and destroyed the universe.
then im pretty fucking sure id have noticed.
either way though its good youre here.
id hate to have to get blood on this outfit.
pretty sure itd ruin it.

[Read: He's glad you're alright and that they didn't, y'know, destroy the universe with you still in it.]

text; idek

[godofshawarma]

[ Hold up, homie here has to struggle to get this text thing going. and might accidentally be getting it stuck on capslock. whoopsy. ]

WHAT IS SBURB? BE IT SOME MORTAL PASTIME ACTIVITY?

ffff

[plushaeusrumpified]

FIRST OFF WHY DONT YOU TELL ME WHY YOURE YELLING.
MY EYES ARE GONNA GO DEAF IF YOU DONT STOP.

:'D

[godofshawarma]

I AM NOT YELLING I AM WRITING
EYES CANNOT GO DEAF, WHAT MANNER OF CREATURE ARE YOU THAT EYES HEAR?

[ text ]

[tsunball]

Me and another guy I know were actually talking about that a little while ago, there's got to be some place for a guy to get a drink here, right?

This place is already bad enough without it!

[ text ]

[plushaeusrumpified]

well isnt it convenient that id show up so soon after that lovely little convo.
if there was ever a guy who could help you get beer its me.
im the beer guy.
its me.

gorgeous spandex aside whats so bad about this place?

text;

[restitchtime]

[it's not her Bro. it's not her Bro. Rose is seriously tempted to fall to the ground and proceed to have sloppy makeouts with it at this rare and beautiful stroke of luck granted to her by the machinations of the universe. oh god this is the best possible outcome of a Bro being dragged here.

if she plays this shit right he'll have no reason to bother her. she can't avoid the post, though, since she knows that Bro will run into her sooner or later and if she doesn't play in an arena she's got a little control over her slim chance is gone. so. time to work some magic.]

Better get used to being in a constant state of pissiness, because this shithole likes to start off slow and then amp it up to eleven. The laws of common courtesy are no match for the juggernaut of uncreative horror they've got rolling through here.

But hey, who knows? Maybe they'll put acid beer on the menu next week and you can get smashed and burn a hole in your esophagus at the same time.

text;

[plushaeusrumpified]

oh shit acid beer.
thats my fav.
howd you know i was craving that?

so anyway spill the beans.
i already met my dave so which one are you.
because apparently theres a lot of daves.
how am i supposed to handle all of you guys.
strife orgy on the roof sounds about right.
my weeks gonna be so damn full getting quality time with all you bros.

[infernoandhearth]

Oh, are we doing text colours? Alright.
Important question first, yes, there's beer. It's in the restaurant, though, which will mean you'll have to fetch them some random item or risk a bodypart, so it's all whether you think that's worth it or not.
It's always been worth it for me.
The cafeteria has wine for free, but I think it's made of snakes, and I've had more than enough of snakes, personally.

[plushaeusrumpified]

you bet your sweet little ass were doing colours.

kid i risk bodyparts every time i grab a beer.
it aint no fun if you dont nearly get your arm sliced off reaching into the fridge.
so its totes worth it.

snake wine.
does it come from medusas fine tits?

text;

[mamadonna]

It Is A Curious Phenomenon, In That I Have Been Informed That, Despite The Assurances Of Our Notice Upon Arrival, My Planet Was In Fact Destroyed Thousands Of Sweeps After My Life Would Have Ended.
The Dead Once More Walk Among The Living Here As Though Their Personal Experiences Have Yet To Proceed To That Moment.
A Temporal Anomaly Of Some Sort, As It Would Appear.
And Any Inquiry Into The Matter With Our Wardens Is Met With Deflection.
To Practice Skepticism In The Face Of This Is To Retain One's Sanity And Wit.

text;

[plushaeusrumpified]

yeah see that just proves theyre totes lying.
if they wanted to be convincing then theyd cover up all these glaring plot holes.

so yeah between the few hours i spent in sburb and then this shithole.
i think its safe to say im getting fucking sick of temporal anomalies.
they can suck my dick.

[Text]

[daddydeathscythe]

I've never heard of SBURB. Where is it located?
Wherever it is, it sounds like you were expecting this. I guess we should have seen it coming too. I just didn't think it was going to happen so soon.

I'm with, or was with the DWMA. It's nice to meet you.

[Text]

[plushaeusrumpified]

its a game not a place.
well.
ok its a game and a place.
fuck idk its confusing.
it also destroys places.
and youre wrong i wasnt expecting this at all.
it shouldve been impossible.

what the hells the dwma?

[text] -> [video]

[tortileghostwriter]

[this isn't something he was prepared for. it's not like it's jade's brother, but this still hits close to home--pangs of loss and fury from a lifetime away, once his but not now(non sum qualis eram, be that as it may why does it still hurt...

Whatever. This Bro has their Dave. He'd just be extraneous, as he's increasingly begun to fear he has been for some time.]

if im to be honest for a brief moment i dont even know why i bother hoping that a new arrival might be from a world skewing closer to my own at this point

in any case i share your suspicions concerning our oh so gracious jailers

[He hesitates for a second, before he switches on the video. No Houston-forged skin tone, hair a touch lighter--that near-white platinum that the Lalondes traded in. The shades are off, and those eyes are definitely not the red that his Strider counterpart hides away. David's quashed whatever pain and doubt might have ailed him, or at least tucked it behind the facade. No Strider lineface, more a scowl.

At last, he speaks, and there's a certain hollowness at the edge of it. Like an echo.]

I realize, obviously, that you were looking for someone else. No, by all means, don't mind me. I'll leave you to it, but first, Strider the Elder, I offer you my most exultant welcome to this living hell that is no better than the one it claims to have rescued you from!

[video]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro was not prepared for this at all. This place is just getting more and more... insane, for lack of a better term. Just how many Daves are there in this place? And this is obviously a Dave, he'd know Dave from anyone- even if this Dave is... different. He's not really sure how to react. The fact he's already found his Dave makes it a little awkward. But still...

This is a Dave. He's not going to shut out a Dave. Not ever. But he's quiet for a few moments, staring at him, eyes curious behind his shades as he notes the differences between this Dave and his Dave.]

Thanks.

[It's brief, a slight touch of sincerity to it laced with a little bit of sarcasm.]

So it's obvious you're a Dave. But you're right- not the one I was looking for. Still, though, how's it hanging? [His voice is casual, curious and not sarcastic like his thanks.]