animus_network | 001

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is it too much to ask for a little fanfare for the end of the universe?
i mean come on im out there busting my ass to do damage to an oversized electronic that a two year old could do with gravity a hard floor and fifteen seconds of irresponsible parenting
the least i could get is some fucking fireworks when the universe ejects you from existence!
but fine whatever
first order of business
who the fuck took my shovel?
you give me my gun and my rad pjs and you dont give me my shovel thats stupid
second order of business dont step on the black globs
it sucks and its stupid
third order of business dont eat the eggs here theyre fucking nasty
like seriously poultry doesnt even come in that color
maybe they made it from the black globs

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Now that I think about it, it was excellent beer.

see theres always a plus side to these things >:]
and you actually got your booze i didnt get any sweet delicious candy or anything
though i did get some cool pajamas out of the deal
i didnt get booze either but thatd probably be illegal anyway

You could probably find someone here who doesn't care about legality to give you suspicious drinks. Not that I am one of these people.

aw dont be a party pooper now
come on bro hook a kid up
its already the end of the world, do drinking laws even still apply?

I don't have anything on me anyway. It doesn't really matter.

laaaame
this place seems like the kind of place where a lot of folks would appreciate that kind of thing you know?
dont think i saw a bar around here though

I checked. There's a restaurant, but no bar.

the people that make this place dont really know the essentials of society do they?
i saw that restaurant
fishy as fuck to tell me and not just because they probably have rotten sushi tucked away somewhere

You can't have a place where anybody lives and not include a bar. It's a disgrace.

exactly see youve got it
maybe the guys that run this place are just some kind of hardcore religious prohibitionists
booze is a sin and all that w/e

Oh, I bet they won't like me much then.

dont worry theyll hate me too
too mouthy and too much cussing and underaged drinking jokes
plus i intend to pop a cap in their asses asap

I mostly go in for the heresy, the drinking, and the popping a cap in their asses.

hahah sounds like my kind of party
well go in and bust their asses with little cross shaped bullets
and drink booze over their corpses in victory

Perfect, it's a plan. Part one, we need to acquire some drinks.

Edited 2012-07-14 01:51 (UTC)

part two shrinkify some crosses
think your buddy lucifers around here and would be willing to spot us some miracle juice?

He is. He may or may not appreciate the joke.

oh shit you serious?
call that fucker up and go jesus on this stuff turn water into wine!
bonus points for being the antichrist just to piss them off more

That would solve the alcohol supply pretty nicely, wouldn't it? We could have a whole lake full of wine.

hell fucking yes
instead of drowning yourself in despair you can drown your sorrows until you dont know which way is up
much less which way your tears are fallin

I'm actually a pretty responsible drinker. Is it too late to say that?

yes
because when jesus invites you for drinks
you don't say "no i cant i have to drive my car home and i dont want to leave it here tonight"
you challenge him to a game of shots to see who gets the biggest hangover in the morning

Fair enough. I guess being in a tower full of things that can kill a man in a drunken stupor doesn't matter much.

hell no you don't let some stupid monsters get in the way
when you party with jesus, you party hard

Partying hard it is.

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