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[reddeadvirtuoso]

so first
my names not dave strider lets get that out of the way immediately before i get anyone coming on here going
dave is that you???
cause its not
im jade
alternate universe bullshit
ok cool introductions out of the way
more importantly
does anyone know how to deal with a freaky darkness horrorterror possessing someone?
like i guess
does anyone know an exorcist?
or is an exorcist?
cause i got a friend here with a spooky brain tumor and we think it would be best if it went the fuck away
unfortunately i know shit all about horrorterrors and darknessy demon cult bullshit
except for what i saw in thirteen ghosts
but that movie was shit
and i dont think he wants his head doing a 360 :/
so yeah if anyone knows how to depossesify someone
thatd be great!

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

dave never appreciates my help!
nothing new there >:/
dont worry im pretty sure theres a wizard in the tower that can distract het with mystical prophecy bullshit
after that itll be a piece of cake
they wont be able to hide for long!

[grislytragedian]

Excellent.
You find the wizard, I will get the rope.
We will have them beat in no time.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

perfect >:)
dont worry im pretty sure
time
is on our side B)

[grislytragedian]

Most definitely.

For the record though, we are on the same page about this being a massive joke right?
I actually have no idea how to do an exorcism and, that being said, have no intention of attempting one.
That would just be irresponsible.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

hahaha dont worry
i may have done some stupid stuff including enough to land me the spot of most irresponsible time lord throughout paradoxspace
but i dont think the exorcist is very good learning material :)

[grislytragedian]

Oh but that's where you are wrong.
It is actually wonderful teaching material, just as all horror films are.
Among other things, they teach you exactly what NOT to do when you hear a strange noise in the bushes or find yourself in the presence of a crazed serial killer and/or someone possessed by sinister forces.
Hahaha.

Though it seems our friends have a poor sense of humor.
Which is funny considering Rose grew up surrounded by cornball nonsense.
I figured she would have been able to recognize a joke when she saw one.

[Or maybe you just suck at telling jokes, John...]

It looks as though she may be hiding Dave under her bed now.
So what's the plan?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

you mean were NOT supposed to split up so we can explore a spooky haunted house alone??
damn
there goes my plan a for handling the next demon invasion

unfortunately dave being a party pooper is pretty standard fare for me
just sits around with all his edgey literature books and arguing with his mom while he sits next to the booze cabinet ironically

hmmm
obviously well have to either flush him out or lure him out willingly
and since i have no idea how to do that first one unless we resorted to toxic gas!
we could probably sneak into his room while hes gone and go through his special original reading material

[grislytragedian]

I know it's just so hard to believe isn't it?
But you really aren't supposed to do that.

To be fair, it's not exactly hard NOT to sit next to mom's liquor cabinet.
I mean really that basically refers to anywhere in the house. Save for my room which I guess is technically also your Dave's room.

If "special original reading material" is what I think it is, you will have to count me out of that plan, I'm afraid.
I am not really a fan of snooping through other people's things to begin with.
And private works of original literature is a line that I definitely refuse to cross.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

now everything i know is a lie :(

sounds like party central i guess
he always makes a pointed effort to NOT drink anything though
at least until his laptop battery runs out
i dont really get it

hahaha aw bailing out on me?
its not like its anything bad
he writes shitty fanfiction thinking its cool
but suit yourself
ill just get my alt strider bro to help me out
as long as you dont go spilling the plan!

[grislytragedian]

Healing will come with time.

I see.
That makes absolutely no sense, but whatever I guess.

Not bailing so much as respecting privacy.

[Because if he does that then nobody will attempt to snoop through his notebooks in revenge, right? Right? That's how karma works isn't it?]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

nothing he does makes sense
i think sense would ruin the whole thing for him

aw he wont mind
hell get over it in no time im sure

[Nope. Not when you have a pack of Striders on your hands.]

[grislytragedian]

Still, I would rather avoid the whole "what goes around, comes around" thing in this case.

[He's doomed.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

your loss bro :O