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[reddeadvirtuoso]

so first
my names not dave strider lets get that out of the way immediately before i get anyone coming on here going
dave is that you???
cause its not
im jade
alternate universe bullshit
ok cool introductions out of the way
more importantly
does anyone know how to deal with a freaky darkness horrorterror possessing someone?
like i guess
does anyone know an exorcist?
or is an exorcist?
cause i got a friend here with a spooky brain tumor and we think it would be best if it went the fuck away
unfortunately i know shit all about horrorterrors and darknessy demon cult bullshit
except for what i saw in thirteen ghosts
but that movie was shit
and i dont think he wants his head doing a 360 :/
so yeah if anyone knows how to depossesify someone
thatd be great!

Comments

[imperialsun]

Are you certain it's a case of possession?

[DOES IT INVOLVE A MASK. LAST TIME IT WAS A MASK.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

yes
he always talked about talking to someone and hearing whispers
i dont really remember all the details anymore
i shouldve paid attention better
but
im sure it is!
he shows up outta nowhere
speaking in tongues and sporting a tar-colored tan
radiating some spooky netherworld energy tendrils

[she is pretty sure there was no mask]

[alephbet]

I know a little about darknessy demon cult bullshit. I can't say I'm a trained exorcist or anything, though.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

serious?
know anything about kicking out unwelcome passengers?
anything you gots probably better than what i know
which is so little its in the negatives

[tortileghostwriter]

oh yes this is going to work marvelously i can tell already
what fun

[he's grateful but JADE PLS GO.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

hey!
you said youd let me help
were finding a way to fix the problem!
i tried researching this stuff but theres an amazing lack of material on how to fix your best bro's noggin

[SHE'S HELPING!!]

[crouching_sin]

I might be able to help.

[GET IN ABEL WE'RE GOING COMP DIVING.]

[sawthelockdown]

And by "you" you mean "me," don't you?

Please stop volunteering me for these things!

I still want to help, though. It's just that my brother's an ass. -_- I've got some experience dealing with demons, so I can help!

[grislytragedian]

I have seen The Exorcist.
Does that count?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

yes
>:)

[Jade no]

[tortileghostwriter]

no

[thornythaumaturge]

john no.

[restitchtime]

I wanted to make a disparaging comment as everyone's come to expect from me at this point but it looks like you assholes have already filled the stupidity quota to bursting.

So great job gathering every idiot into one place for the rest of us to facepalm at, I guess. I hope whatever's bugging you ends up snapping somebody in half to make a glorious finale to this clusterfuck.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

why thank you!
:D

[tortileghostwriter]

and a pleasant day to you as well rose

[geometry]

-(Wha+)(is even happening)
-(In +ha+ +hread up +here)

[reddeadvirtuoso]

were having very important discussion
and rose and dave suck

[gloomyapoplectic]

I Wish I Could Be Of Assistance
But If I Had Any Extensive Amount Of Knowledge In This Matter Then I Am Certain The Events Of The Veil Would Have Unfolded Very Differently


I See That You Have Already Had A Number Of Offers
As Well As A Large Assortment Of Almost Completely Irrelevant Shenanigans
But On A More Serious Note

Have You Tried Asking Eridan

[reddeadvirtuoso]

hey they were incredibly relevant shenanigans
the most relevant in fact
but
no i havent
actually i havent seem him around lately
any idea where hes been hiding?

[tortileghostwriter]

excuse you our shenanigans were only of the most relevant variety

[fifth_kazekage]

You need a surgeon to remove a brain tumor.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

no its not a real brain tumor
like its not made out of tissue and cells and whatever the fuck tumors are made out of
hes not a cancer patient trust me he has a full head of bond locks that hes v proud of
its a tumor made out of darknessy occult bullshit
literally a concentration of demon shit
(not actually literally)

Text

[firstofthefallen]

Describe the demon.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

its um
i dont actually know WHAT it is
weve been calling it a horror terror because thats all the game bothered to fucking tell us about the evil demon lords from beyond the ring
he called it his mother a bunch of times even though he has his own mom
when it got real bad it gave him a complete grimdark makeover
im talking black skin replacing his normal pasty ass complexion
snow white hair
weird glowy markings and this freaky aura of evil leaking out of his skin and clearing out his pores

[knightime]

wow
what was that clusterfuck i just read above
im not touching that with a ten foot pole
but i would appreciate if you didnt do something terrible to my beautiful significant other
ive already accepted his creepy horrorterror bullshit for what it is and all
i dont want to lose him
were so young
so much promise
he completes me

[Dave is the best at taking things seriously. Okok.]

i dont think exorcising is really gonna actually get rid of the spooky shit though
do you even know exactly what it is?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Taking things seriously is what Striders do best after all]

dont worry i promise
i wouldnt do anything to jeopardize your young love
ill make sure he makes it to your next anniversary
but the creepy crawly in his brain has go to go
i think youll both be much happier for it!
hell finally be able to appreciate you more like youve always dreamed
honestly though i have no idea what the fuck it is
other than its evil and bad juju and it need to get the fuck out