animus_network | ≈ first breeze! (text)

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≈ first breeze! (text)

wow, oookay.
this place is pretty messed up!
i find it to be a terrible fourteenth birthday present.
even if it's not my birthday anymore.
but, uh, belatedly!
hi, i'm john egbert.
apparently there's a lalonde-me running around, so hi lalonde-me.
it's really freaky to consider a me, that's also a rose, but still me?
how does that even work. is that like doomed timeline shenanigans?
wow does that mean there's a doomed timeline somewhere that combined me and rose?
maybe i messed up on the ectobiology and created some weird rose-me-hybrid.
freaky tentacle-ghosty-movie-wizard baby!
oh man that sounds like an awesome horror movie or something.
we should write our own horror movie.
hi everybody else that's not-me, too!

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waitwhat

good grief this is really confusing.
multiples upon multiples and wow a john strider would be really scary.
and i dunno jade and i are sort of alike so maybe a john harley wouldn't be that different?
or a jade egbert.
guess it sort of really teaches you who you are and what makes you who you are, huh?

oh! well all right.
rosie is kind of cute, i guess.
i'll see how just rose works, and if it gets too confusing i'll call you rosie.
and wow, rose strider.
i think i'm going to have nightmares.

i think so, yeah!
to be honest i never really listened to rose's talking about them.
when she was still speaking english about them it sort of didn't make much sense so i just let her go and made affirmative statements every so often in her sea of confusing purple.
like dave?
whoaaa.

i guess dad's sort of a universal constant.
that's sorta cool.
but no, not wizards.
harlequins!! creepy things. eugh.

...wow, jade strider.
i'm actually not sure which i'm more scared by, rose or jade being the strider!!
and wow, dave harley.
i'm so confused right now.
my head is full of fuck all over again.

heheheh, good.
i don't think any john would look good with tentacles.
but, wow.
so i'm curious, what are you into?
do you write stories like my rose does? she writes crazy wizard fanfiction.
it's sort of, uh.
risque.

you are definitely the grouchiest rose i have ever met.
and i've met rose when she didn't speak english and was all grey and spooky.
but, okay.
my rose's chumhandle is tentacleTherapist, and dave's is turntechGodhead, so i combined them.

what a practical use for sunglasses!
sorry, the strider in my timeline is dave and he's kind of a massive tool.
but he's my best friend so i don't really care.
he just likes to act like his sunglasses are this big ironic thing.
personally i think he just likes them 'cause they were a birthday present from me.

heheheh. seems like daves are douchebags all across the board.
what's your dave's last name?

I'm the Queen Bitch of all Rose incarnations, didn't anyone tell you? Handle mashing dipshits cower in fear at my very name.

That's me, practical as fucking can be. I've already met your asshole and can't say I was particularly impressed with his sunglasses, so congrats on giving shitty birthday presents I guess.

Harley. And the other two are Jade Egbert and John Lalonde, before you decide that's important to know too.

[He fiddles with the functions on the terminal for a while until he figures out the audio. He's quiet for a moment.]

Is it working? Uh ...Again? Uh, well, for one I'm hearing you, not seeing you, so I dunno if it's nice to see you unless you look like a computer. Which would be kinda awkward, I think. But I guess you know me?

Edited 2012-09-14 05:17 (UTC)

a birthday is just what it sounds like!
it's a celebration of the day you were born.
but it is a human thing, yeah.
if you're not human, are you another one of the trolls? you type in a different color than any of the trolls i've met so far.

Sometimes. But I prefer writing screenplays instead of normal fiction story writing.
I like movies though. And video games.
What about you?

yeah, it really does.
it's kind of interesting too.
a little weird.
but i think i enjoy it.
it's a really wonderful example of the psychological differences dealing with the whole nature versus nurture argument.
i hope you don't mind if i kind of...study you a bit?
already you're kind of different from my john, but i'm really interested in just how different.
or even how similar!
and having the two of you both here and able to interact will help a lot more i think than just, say, comparing dave strider or lalonde to dave without having any interactions to add to the file.

well then i guess there are tentacles here.
though you know it's kind of rude to just make affirmative statements. what if she quizzes you?
maybe you should just ask her to explain things in smaller installments.
and yes, like dave.
he woke up on this planet called derse when he was really little and the horrorterrors told him lots of stuff.
my 'dreamself' never woke up, so i never met them. nor did i get to see what derse looks like.
which is kind of sad. from what dave told me, it was really pretty.

he must be, and yeah that is kind of cool.
he's a pretty awesome dad so.
oh huh...
do you like harlequins by chance?

jade strider is definitely not anyone to be scared by.
rose strider though...
she's really angry and hostile.
you might do well to be wary of her.
but no, jade is awesome.
even if she does have a totally fake 'coolkid' act.

yeah, i just kind of took all the information of other mes and johns and stuff and shoved it all under 'welp' for the most part.

waitwhat... what.

Sorry. I'd switch to video, but my appearance is likely to scare small children at the moment. [A laugh. It's hard to tell if she's being sincere or sarcastic.]

[...]

Ah, I see. So you don't remember anything.

[She was heavily considering it to be a possibility. It doesn't hit her quite as hard as it normally would have.

If this was just John without the memories, he'd still be the same type of person.]

Yes, there are a large handful of us here who lived at a testing facility for quite a while, before we came here. You were there. You and a handful of your friends, I suppose.

We knew each other there, though I guess now your memory's been wiped.

well that answers the question of if the psychoanalytical stuff is a rose thing or a lalonde thing!
it's sort of weird to be studied, but i guess i don't mind.
not like i could really say no anyway.
or that it would do me any good if i did.

yeah, i guess.
i just also kind of... don't really care about her weird cthulu monsters?
but i don't really want to tell her not to talk about something she's into.
so i just let her go and try to pick out the interesting stuff.
okay so you and dave still dream on derse.
my dave and rose dream on derse, too, and jade and i dream on prospit.
my dreamself never woke up, either.
so i guess that's an egbert thing?

hell yes universal constant dad.
i could still go without all the cakes for every occasion, though.
not really. but he collected them like they were going out of style.

good to know. i guess i just don't ever want to see jade strider angry.
jade harley is scary enough angry.
well i'm always kind of wary of rose.
no offense!
she's just super-smart and stuff, so it's... i dunno.
it's like respectful-wary.
but i also like messing around with her.
prankster's gambit and all.

heheheh.
'welp' is a good filename for all this.

oooh screenplays! like uhh... shakespeare? that seems like a suitably rose-ish thing to be into writing, and shakespeare's not awful i guess.
hell yes movies and video games.
i don't write anything 'cause writing isn't really my thing.
but i'm a huge fan of action movies and pretty much any kind of video game.
though i'm getting kind of sick of the ghostbusters mmo.
mostly because jade made a furry ghostbuster.
she barks.

sorry rose, not cowering over here!

hey! those are totally awesome sunglasses and you leave my asshole alone.
he's an asshole and he's kind of a tool but he's my asshole.
and those shades weren't a shitty birthday present!

heheheh dave harley. this is all so crazy.
whoa jade egbert! i think i'd like to meet her.
and there's a john lalonde here, is he from your timeline?

Guess I used too many words for you, then. My bad.

He's also a Strider asshole, which means I have free range to mouth off about him as much as I fucking please. That includes any shitty gifts he may have received from mentally deficient friends.

No, he's not.

[and she leaves it at that. it's still a sore subject and hopefully the outrageously short answer will be enough to keep him from pressing the issue.]

What no.
No. Screenplays like...you know, for movies.
Not for stage plays.

[Apparently there's a difference.]

And definitely in modern, everyday English that people actually still speak and understand.
Action movies are ok, I guess. Horror and suspense/thriller are really more my thing personally.
Who does? Jade or the Ghostbuster?

Edited 2012-09-14 05:38 (UTC)

Hey, I'm fourteen. That's totally a teenager, not a small child.

[He's tilting his head at the screen, and the voice.]

...Oh. Well-- I'm sorry, uh. Hopefully I didn't piss you off with too many pranks or owe you money or something.

nah, i just don't really cower.
my rose uses a lot of words too.
usually i just sort of let her talk and try to pick out the interesting stuff.

okay, i'll give you the strider thing. i guess that's some weird form of strider bonding. whatever.
wow, you're kind of exceptionally grumpy.
you're approaching karkat levels of grumpy here, rose. careful.

right.
uh, sorry.

You're small to me. I'm over five hundred years old.

[Another pause.] Nothing like that. [Her tone grows a little warmer.]

You were a...friend.

whats this about lalonde you and timelines

[He finally figured out the space option on this thing

oh.
okay sorry, was trying to combine you and rose again.
still hoping for tentacle hybrid babies, here.
but screenplays for movies is even cooler.

good.
'cause shakespearean babble is really needlessly obtuse sometimes.
and by sometimes i really mean always.
ooh. i can get behind some good horror movies. what's your favorite?
...well both, i guess.

oh.
yeah i guess that's kinda confusing if you don't know the game.
i have a friend with the last name lalonde, and there's somebody here with my first name and the last name lalonde. so he's a me-lalonde.
timelines... uhh.
well basically our lives have been a big shitty video game for the past year.

...Wow that's pretty old. Are you a vampire or something?

[...Well now he feels sort of bad.]

Oh. Well we can always be friends again, if you want. I'm not against friends. But that kinda requires me to know your name! You know mine already.

[A laugh.]

Spot on. You were always smarter than you looked.

I'm Remilia Scarlet. [...] You can call me Remi.

Hey, cool. As long as you don't sparkle in the sunlight.

Heheheh, Scarlet. Like blood. It's a vampire pun, right there in your name. Remi it is, then. Um... nice to meet you again.

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≈ first breeze! (text)

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omfg tl;dr of the egberts

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[audio] hahaha ♥

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rose lalonde is wearing off on you through rose egbert, john.

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:U

roseception

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