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[The feed cuts on to a frantic-looking Nazi who's struggling to smile.]

Look. No, okay, look, ja? [He holds his hands up to the camera in a "calm down" motion.] There are three posts about that silly collar thing. Talk in those. Let us do something else now, okay?

[He lifts up a book.]

We are going to read some stories, then we may discuss them. That is fun und unrelated, right? Here, I will begin.

[He clears his throat.]

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'

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[Unfortunately, Rabbit was damn proud of being American made, and didn't take it as an insult. He just got angrier that his challenge was being ignored, and he ground his mismatched, sharp teeth together. Really it was an impressive display from the robot, he looked like quite the frightening sight, with smoke leaking out from his maw and steam clouding up the screen]

There's p-p-pppppplenty need fer it! Get out here! I've m-m-m-mowed down a hundred of ya before, what's one more?! Yer g-g-g-gonna wish this place left ya dead fer permanent like when I'm through with you, buddy!

[If Richtofen is at all impressed, it doesn't show on his face. He wants to retort properly, to tell him that he's made more impressive creations in his sleep, that he's killed people for less, taken down battalions of soldiers and hordes of the undead without a second's thought. He wants to tell him about all of the awful things he's done to people just because he could, and laugh while he describes the horrors that took place in the facility where he worked, most of it underground so that nobody could hear the test subjects' screams.

He wants to do a lot of things to that American-made hunk of scrap metal, but he bites his tongue. He bites it literally, and he bites it hard. He can't slip up. Not here, not yet.]

Will you stop? I have done nothing to you. [He tastes the tang of blood in his mouth and gulps it down before it can stain his teeth.] I've done nothing- [Whoops. That came out as more of a shout.] -und I- [Deep breaths.] I do not... appreciate... your- Agh!

[He can't even finish that sentence. He's seconds away from an outburst, but he doesn't want to walk away. That would be surrendering, and he will not lose to an American.]

[Well guess who wasn't walking away from a fight? This American piece of scrap metal right here. He was leaning over the terminal, eyes flickering from blue and green to brilliant red, the automaton clearly livid]

Ya've done enough a-a-a-already! I betcha already ki-ki-killed ki-kids an' women! That's what ya d-d-do! Babies even! Baby m-m-murderin' two timin' heilin' squarehead!

Get out here! Get yer ta-ta-tail out from be-be-between yer legs an' fight me!

Enough! [Richtofen leaps out of his seat and slams his hands onto the terminal.] That is enough from you, American swine! Do you have any idea how hard I am trying to keep myself from killing anybody else?!

[But he doesn't deny anything that Rabbit accused him of.]

[The break in demeanor just means the robot wins. Well, to Rabbit anyway. He doesn't back away from the screen, holding the terminal in a death grip]

I bet it's the ha-ha-hardest thing ya ever did, since you g-g-g-guys ca-can't go two weeks without murderin' some poor kid!

Ya mad? Come find me! I'll beat ya t-t-t-tttttttill ya ca-can't walk no more!

[Two weeks. Ha. What a generous amount.]

The doctor has no interest in being beaten!

[He's shouting at the terminal, baring his teeth like he wants to leap through the screen and rip Rabbit's throat out.]

You Americans are such brutes, can you not survive without starting pointless fights?

Then ya be-be-better steer clear o'me, buddy! I'll whup ya right up an' d-d-d-down the hall!

[Oh Rabbit was already shouting, this time sending out a few flaming sparks to accentuate the mood]

I'm ju-ju-just finishin' the j-job they sent me over to d-d-d-do! I ain't the one m-murderin' helpless women an' ch-ch-childen' an' ma-makin' their skin into lamp shades!

Lamp sha-?

[Richtofen covers his mouth and makes a choking sound. It's actually an attempt not to laugh, but, luckily for him, it could easily be passed off as a gag.]

I would never! Now, calm down before you burst like one of your silly fireworks!

[Rabbit didn't care if it was a laugh or a gag, he just knew he was still mad]

Y-y-yeah lamp shades!

[Fire works? Rabbit took a few steps away from the machine, still shaking and sputtering and steaming... and let off a sudden jet of bright blue fire. It exploded outwards, filling up the hall with light, before he shut his jaws again and stormed back up to the terminal]

I'll t-t-t-turn ya into the hu-human torch! I'll burn ya to a c-c-c-crisp!

[Richtofen's eyes widen, and he leans away from the terminal. That's certainly not promising. Though his blood is boiling as hotly as that fire must be, he forces a stuttering giggle out of his throat and holds up his hands.]

Come now! Can- Can we not call a truce? I promise you, I have no ill will. [In a higher voice, he goes on:] None at all...!

[Ugh. He's resorted to practically begging. To an American. This is humiliation of the highest degree; the only thing worse than this would be actually letting the robot thing kill him.]

I d-d-d-don't trust ya as f-far as I can throw ya! [Which was actually pretty far, the automaton could lift a ton, literally]

You set o-o-one foot outta line an' I s-s-swear I'll b-b-break ya right in half! I'm wa-wa-watchin' you, Fritz!

[At least the robot hadn't promised to hunt the Nazi down. There was that at least, right?]

[Richtofen nods enthusiastically.]

Yes, yes, yes, of course! I will be good. I promise.

[He turns his head away and lifts an arm to scratch his ear, but only so that Rabbit won't be able to see the look of disgust that crosses his face. When he looks back at the camera, he's smiling again.]

You have nothing to worry about.

[There's the sound of heavy footsteps approaching Rabbit's terminal, and then--]

All right, that's enough. Come on, Rabbit.

[... Why yes, that is a possibly familiar silver automaton looking particularly stony-faced as he sweeps Rabbit up and hoists him over one shoulder. Yep. That just happened.]

[I'm sorry, did you want a massive temper tantrum? Because that's what's happening]

P-P-P-PUT ME DOWN! I'LL MU-MURDER HIM! I'LL T-T-T-TURN HIM INTO PA-PATE! I'LL CHUCK HIM OFF THE STAIRS! PUT ME D-D-DOWN SPINE!

IT AIN'T FA-FA-FAIR!

[Blinking.

Staring.

ALL RIGHTY THEN.]

Um... Didn't we-?

[You know what, he's not even going to press the matter. It figures they would know each other. It figures.]

All you're doin' is workin' yourself up, you're not gonna murder anyone. [Said in an even tone. He's seen too many tantrums to be fazed by this one.] We're goin'.

[All robuts know each other, it's true. Particularly the American ones that interrupt story time.

The Spine glances at the screen, expression unchanging.]

Sure did.

[... And he turns to carry Rabbit away from the terminal.]

IT A-A-A-AIN'T FAIR! LEMME AT HIM, SPINE! I GO-GOTTA GET HIM!

[He writhed and wriggled, kicking and flailing magnificently as he tried to dislodge himself from his brother's grip. Easier said than done of course, this was Spine we were talking about, but he could still try!]

SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

[They're both robots, and they're both the first people to call him out for his outfit, but that's neither here nor there. If you'll excuse Richtofen, he won't be responding any more. He'll have his face buried in his book while he tries and fails not to laugh.

That robot is a lot less threatening when he's being dragged away in a fit. How satisfying!]

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