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[au1] david lalonde

[text/video]

[New text post on the network! Might be somewhat familiar to a number of people here.]

to our ever so gracious captors
far be it from me to appear ungrateful for such a CLEARLY magnanimous offer
but i believe i will have to pass

the answer is no
now if you would be so kind as to direct me to the exit

[this is immediately followed up by his video feed being turned on for a couple of seconds. He proceeds to flip the camera the bird, doing a particularly displeased lineface. Any doubt about this being a Dave just went out the window.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[And guess who caught it.]

dave!
is that you???

[...oh god, it's. it's not Rose, it's. no. is it the John from...]

once perhaps
the one youre thinking of anyway
not anymore

non sum qualis eram

regardless no except yes i suppose
its david

hello john

[and immediately beginning to backpedal]

at least i assume this is john
dare i ask why youve changed colors to blue
thats really more roses domain wouldnt you say

non sum qualis eram?
what does that mean?

[So many conflicting signals, David. So many.]

yeah, it's john.
but i've always been blue!
and rose has always been purple.
and you've always been red.
but i guess you're not the same dave or something, because besides that dave NEVER introduces himself as david!
also he doesn't wear purple.

not important

[This is a lie.]

strange
im going to run these past you

tortileGhostwriter
talentedThaumaturge
gaianGearhead
gadgetryTrance

i presume they arent familiar

Edited 2012-01-29 01:43 (UTC)

no, they're not!
here, these are mine.

ectoBiologist
tentacleTherapist
turntechGodhead
gardenGnostic

in order: me, rose, you, and jade.
you still have jade, right?

that would be gg
so yes
in order that was me rose jade and you
or rather my version of you

[god, trying to pretend he doesn't know any of this is hard.]

Edited 2012-01-29 01:48 (UTC)

wow, that's bizarre!
...oh well, i guess i should have expected something like this.
anyway, hi!
did you just get here?

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briar??
are you ok????

[yeah, guess whose middle name that is.]

what

john is that

or jade

whatever

whichever it is yes i suppose
ive certainly been better though with circumstances under consideration ive no complaints
i admit to some curiosity regarding why youre using my middle name however

Edited 2012-01-29 04:01 (UTC)

[holy coincidences, batman.]

uh
i am not john or jade!
i was using that because i thought that was your name
i am sorry i thought you were a friend of mine
but im glad you are ok for the most part!
are you rose then?

no
thats

one moment

[and he turns on the video.]

uuh
rai???
or maybe i guess dave....?
but why do you have purple eyes like rose then???
@_@

[he definitely raises an eyebrow, but he doesn't say anything. typing...]

rai
what

ahhh there you are
youve gotten it
bravo bravo bravissimo harley

[yeah, he doesn't know your name and even if you aren't "jade" he's making the Harley assumption. deal.]

in any case i prefer david
and roses eyes are blue
unless shes suddenly become stricken with albinism
woe
all melanin and the blush of health drained away to leave only a deathly pallor of a shade and switch sapphire to sangria with a sanguinary substance
what dread imbalance of the humours could inflict such a disastrous outcome
what cruel fate
alas
alack

[yeah, he can't resist a little bit of a smirk.

Echidna, given that this is a Dave, it should be pretty obvious he's being ridiculous and just fucking with you.]

[Rude Dave, rude.]

lol!!!
calm down daviiiiddd
i am pretty sure you cannot spontaneously develop albinism O:
so i think for the time being your roses blush and pallor are perfectly a-ok!!!

oh but
my name is not harley O:
my name is echidna!
so whichever dave you are it is nice to meet you :P

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ABOUT FUCKING TIME.
DID YOU ENJOY YOUR NAP????????
GUESS WHAT, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?

karkat i presume
good that makes four

while i would love to be able to entertain your questions like so much drivel im afraid i havent the slightest idea of what youre talking about

CONGRATS.
DO YOU WANT A FUCKING MEDAL?
SPOILERS, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT EITHER.

SO YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME RIGHT NOW.
FUCKING FANTASTIC.
GR8.
REALLY, I'M OVERJOYED OVER HERE.

YOU KNOW, AS USELESS AS YOU AND EVERY OTHER FURRY APEBEAST IMIT8TION OF YOUR SPECIES IS........
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO HAVE A REPORT FROM THE OUTSIDE.
SO ALLOW ME TO CONGRADUL8 YOU AGAIN ON BEING USELESS.
AND WELCOME BACK TO TOWER WONDERFUCK.

[okay, this is not good timing on your part, karkat.]

oh yes because clearly its my own error that led to me having no memory of this latest nightmarish farce
how stunningly incompetent of me, ill be sure to make every effort to rectify this in the future

wait
oh dear me it seems ive forgotten something
but what could it be
oh yes
youre a fucking tool thats what

vantas i remain utterly astounded by your incredible aptitude for ignorance and opting for blind anger before youve learned anything at all about the situation at hand

thus i call out with thunderous applause
bravo
bravo
bravissimo
encore
my most exuberant congratulations to you on your latest and most spectacular display and might i even dare call for more

Charming.

[Have one mildly-amused lineface in return, as Chidori blinks into the camera slowly.]

As I am certain you've been told, there is no known way out. Attempts have been made, of course, but as far as I'm aware, they haven't been very successful.

[Head. Tilt.]

Therefore, none of us will be able to comply with your request, as much as I'm sure we would like to.

Pity.

Indeed.

However I doubt you would wish to be returned. They are not lying when they say our worlds are destroyed.

[switching back to text now...]

somehow i strongly doubt that all is as they say, regardless of what halftruths may or may not be present embedded deep within the mess

Oh, I certainly doutbt they are entirely truthful. However as I am not inclined to pry enough to get myself in more trouble than necessary... I feel as if things are better left to be discovered as they come.

Oh, alas! Regrettably, such an approach has never worked well for me in the least. Lack the mindset for it, you see.

Besides. A well-behaved individual will hardly make an impact.

I am hardly well-behaved. Simply cautious.

Dying is no issue. Dying unnecessarily, however, is.

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