Jade Strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reddeadvirtuoso) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
animus_network2012-07-09 11:59 pm
reddeadvirtuoso) wrote in animus_network2012-07-09 11:59 pm
001 | text
is it too much to ask for a little fanfare for the end of the universe?
i mean come on im out there busting my ass to do damage to an oversized electronic that a two year old could do with gravity a hard floor and fifteen seconds of irresponsible parenting
the least i could get is some fucking fireworks when the universe ejects you from existence!
but fine whatever
first order of business
who the fuck took my shovel?
you give me my gun and my rad pjs and you dont give me my shovel thats stupid
second order of business dont step on the black globs
it sucks and its stupid
third order of business dont eat the eggs here theyre fucking nasty
like seriously poultry doesnt even come in that color
maybe they made it from the black globs
i mean come on im out there busting my ass to do damage to an oversized electronic that a two year old could do with gravity a hard floor and fifteen seconds of irresponsible parenting
the least i could get is some fucking fireworks when the universe ejects you from existence!
but fine whatever
first order of business
who the fuck took my shovel?
you give me my gun and my rad pjs and you dont give me my shovel thats stupid
second order of business dont step on the black globs
it sucks and its stupid
third order of business dont eat the eggs here theyre fucking nasty
like seriously poultry doesnt even come in that color
maybe they made it from the black globs
no subject
id say id try harder but youre right about the fact that i really dont give a fuck
if youre dave youre probably the alternate of my bro dave lalonde
oh scuse me
david
fancy prissy boy will get on my ass for calling him by that plebeian nickname!
but if youre the time guy this is sounding about right
congratulations you have permanently shaped the mental image of this impressionable young thirteen year olds view of towerland
remind me to call to catch a predator when they start to electroshock us through the evil scifi collars
no subject
something about squiddles and shit or whatever
good for you that im a patient guy
and i actually rather people dont magically wind up in this shit hole
hahaha fuck
ill let you in on a little secret
david and i got married
it was a beautiful ceremony
he wore the dress
strike up the banoh hell no i am not referencing that song
sorry you werent invited
youll have to bring it up with him
he now goes by david dave lalondestrider the third
its really pretentious and kind of fucking ridiculous
but i deal since were in gay love with each other
dave strider
david is a stupid name
my name isnt even david
its just dave
people who assume its short for david need to go suck a dick
your welcome
i try
but the collars dont actually do much
we get regular check ups and shit but they havent really done much
the only time shit went down was when they switched the colors and everyones powers basically went fucking nuts
things might have happened while we got tossed into some pods but i was a pod person
youll have to ask someone who got stuck here for a month
oh look im being marginally helpful
lalonde would be proud right now
or psychoanalyzing it as some hidden desire of some sort
same diff
no subject
strike up the band timebro dont wimp out on me!
shit man i cant believe mr lalondestrider the third went and got hitched without me
i was gearing up to be the best man and everything
feeling kind of bretrayed here >:[
not to mention now i have to scrape you two up a fancy wedding present
fuck
dont know if i have time in my schedule of getting eaten by black blobs for this
so note to self dont go into pods and dont let your color get all screwed up
got it
shit my lalondeman and fairy god alien would be proud of me for actually taking note of your advice
its like were all grown up
no subject
i dont lose at that shit
sweeping your man bro right off his dainty pretentious feet
he couldnt wait
as much as he really wanted to we were strapped for
...
time
dramatic pause aside
the wedding sucked anyways
the cake tasted like shit and there was no honeymoon
[They both DIEDDDDDD.]
but our clothes were so fab
you should have seen him in the dress
he finally became the woman he always wanted to be
shit
sounds like were in need of a celebration
preferably one that doesnt involve surgeries and dying
i think there was plenty of that already
maybe we can do a round of planking if people really want too
no subject
im glad that someone was able to make a proud woman out of him
hes so damn pretentious he wouldnt have had the guts to ask on his own so its good someone did
cant imagine how the fuck you can call it official though when there was no cake :|
its like calling a mcdonalds complete without a bunch of fat people sitting in their cars outside
tell you what just for you as my first official act in dickhole wonderland
ill throw you guys the most fantastically adorable wedding party
invite your friends and family itll be the shin dig of a lifetime
no subject
it was a shitty cake from like portal
you know the cakes where its made with a shitton of fish related products
and things you don't put into a cake
we demanded a refund of course
i could make a better cake
itd just taste like charcoal
oh damn
im swooning
i must be faithful to him
but you are like a gods fucking gift sent straight from heavens to the hells gate of this shitty tower
i thought i couldnt believe in miracles
you proved me wrong
no subject
its their culture ok!
sorry i know
a shooting star out of the sky decked in a killer red cape
but youre my best guy's guy i cant do that to him
and i cant do that to you :[
im only here to kick some douchebag ass and fuck names i dont need them
no subject
its a ploy
a lie
the fish is a lie
its ok
ill be faithful
i vowed to him
and i know if i saw him in his wedding dress again id fall in love with him all over again
oh are you talking about jason riki and dax?
good luck with that
no subject
the fish framed the cake?
dlal sure is lucky to have such an upstanding guy like you
jealous tbh
that what their names are?
the fuck kind of name is riki?
whatever doesn't matter what their names are
i'm gonna time warp into their war chamber and kick their asses either way
no subject
the fish set it up for its eventual downfall
what a bitch
yea
idk
figured out riki really doesnt give a shit
he just kind of does whatever the fuck he wants
which isnt exactly good
but hes a step better than jason
jason is just the hugest dick
no one likes him
i think youre mistaking time warping with space teleporting
they dont actually work the same way
even if we wished it did
no subject
probably got some cousin in law enforcement so it never got caught for it
fucker
anyway so
i'm supposed to hate this jason guy i take it?
i guess the asshole with a relatively normal name among shit like riki and dax is probably automatically a douchebag
but dually noted
nah man im working on this theory that lets me time hop back through spatial dimensions
its some grade a research i could get a college grant fo this kind of stuff
no subject
true fact
yea
just hate him extra bad
you dont need a reason
he gives himself more than enough for anyone to hate his guts
already thinking of college
wow i better step my game up a bit
no subject
fishy
does he actually go strutting around here like an asshole?
i figured with the whole leaving letters mysterious captors thing theyd just try to operate behind the curtain like the wizard of oz
only without the green and way more evil
fuck yeah im thinking about it gotta raise the money since i was in diapers if im going anywhere
get a good education and then waste my degree on something like english
chop chop bro
no subject
better cut that shit off before it spreads
naw
the only time we really got to see them is when they address the network
or when theyre deciding to play games and doing things like operating on us
so basically theyll show up when they want and know we cant do anything about it
how can i even compete
the pressure is too much
no subject
[Jade that wasn't ironic at all.]
operating?
what do they do give you enough botox and plastic surgery until you look like a ken doll?
or do they like to play operation with the buzzers and weird little plastic butterflies in everyones organs
cmon man i believe in you
the best of the best do the best under pressure
no subject
[Haha, no. It was pretty lame.ever wanted to be a toy soldier?
some scary ass fucking monster
youre in the perfect place then
although operation wouldnt be outside of what they would actually do
idk man
its hard
nobody understands
no subject
[Ooooookay she's kind of...starting to get, a little freaked out by this place, is this guy being serious??]
something tells me thats not what youre supposed to do with your medical license and a scalpel
something tells me thats the exact opposite of what youre supposed to do
nobody really DOES understand :/
wow I can't even tell you what happened with that html fail
it wasnt me though
[He got his legs chopped off though.]
basically
welcome to this shithole
all of this red killed it
we sure theres no return trip?
WELP
so
no subject
no subject
most of what this tower does is basically retarded
like
are you even surprised?
no subject
life seems to be full of a lot of retarded so i guess we can just keep on keeping on
no subject
but this tower just wanted to be the overzealous and know it all asshole who wanted to make everyone else look bad so it decided to be even more retarded
it blew everyones expectation
except this is a shitty thing to overachieve in