005 ♑ [fifth honk]

[hystericull]

A BrOtHeR AiN'T TrYiN To gEt hIs hArSh aLl oN OvEr nOtHiNg sMaLl oR NoThIn
ExCePt tHiS MoThErFuCkIn nOiSe iS Up aNd gOiN FrOm sMaLl sPuDs tO FuCkInG SHIT.
IN LESS MOTHERFUCKING TIME THAN IT TAKES THE FUCKIN OPTIMISTIFFS IN THIS JOINT.
to all let fly from their.
MOTHERFUCKING TRAPS.
about how all it's gonna be gettin.
SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING.
bEtTeR
BuT It dOn't gEt bEtTeR, mY BrOtHeRs aNd bItChEs
It aIn't nEvEr gOnNa gEt nO BeTtEr
No mAtTeR HoW MuCh sPaRkLy fLuFfY NoIsE AnY OnE MoThErFuCkEr's gOnNa wAnNa pUkE AlL OvEr tHe
MOTHERFUCKING.
truth.

ThEy tAkE A BrOtHeR AnD CuT HiM ThE FuCk oPeN
ShOvE ShIt iN HiM WhAt's nOt nEvEr sUpPoSeD To aLl bEiNg iNsIdE
CrEeP AnD CrAwL AlL Up iN HiS FrIeD OuT PaN LiKe iT AiN'T BeEn bLoWn tO BiTs aLrEaDy
MaKe hIm gEt aLl uP In tHe hArShEsT BuSiNeSs wItH HiS ReSpItEbLoCkBrOs
SpEnD HiS SlEePtImE In tHe hAlLs wHeRe hE CaN'T GeT No mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHuTeYe
RiP ThEm gOoD BrOs hE Be aLl sPlItTiN ThIs mOtHeRfUcKiN ShItHoLe wItH FrOm hIm
MaKe tHeM GoNe fOrEvEr
without saying MOTHERFUCKING GOOD bye.
GiVe iN HiM SoMe WICKED MOTHERFUCKING URGES.
that he all ain't never been to feeling before.
MAKE HIM QUESTION his.
mother.
FUCKING SELF.

WhO ArE YoU, mOtHeRfUcKeR?

HaHa
HAHA.
haha.
HONK.
honk.
HONK.
honk.

WHO THE MOTHER FUCK AM I?

Comments

casually assumes so as well

[hystericull]

A BrOtHeR AiN'T GoT No rEaSoNs tO Be fAlSiFyInG HiS MoThErFuCkIn hAnDlE LiKe tHaT
So, Uh
YoU CoUlD Be aLl sAyIn tHaT ThAt's bEiN WhAt mY NaMe aLl iS, dEfInItElY

think i'm rememberin on you what's the right way, though.
WAS HIGH AS A MOTHERFUCKING SKY-GLIDING DEVICE WHEN ALL WE FIRST WERE TO BE GETTING OUR ACQUAINTANCE ON, THOUGH.
you're the pie bitch, right.

HUZZAH

[reddeadvirtuoso]

damn straight
i am the bitch of pies
better than anything of time tbh
so i can see your lifes gone to shit
hows that going for ya

[hystericull]

thought you'd never fucking ask.
WELL, IT'S GONE TO MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.
how's that for some wicked extrapolation?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

that is some damn fine extrapolation my friend
you could write a thesis on that kind of study
the close examination of the shit of a motherfucking life
a++ material
anything else?

[hystericull]

plenty of much motherfuckin else, my wicked brosis.
BUT LET ME ALL BE INQUIRING AS TO YOU A MOTHERFUCKIN THING OF WHAT I'M ALL CURIOUS ON FOR MY FUCKIN OWN.
the fuck you getting so motherfucking nosy for, motherfucker?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

just wonderin whats up with a clown bro is all
i mean wondering fuck
anyway two bros dont just share a pie and some raspberries together and go their separate ways
when a bros life has gone to motherfucking shit another bro steps up and asks them whats up
and possibly punches life in the face
so thats what im doing

[hystericull]

brosis you ain't gotta be goin to change the way them wordy dudes get their mystical motherfuckin flow on outta you.
ThAt bE A ReAl fUcKiN ChOiCe tHiNg wHaT YoU BeIn hAvIn aT My mOtHeRfUcKiNg bAcK AnD AlL ThE ShIt wHaT'S LiKe tHaT Is
but i be all up and mother fucking thinkin.
THAT A BRO LIKE WHAT'S YOU ARE SHOULD BE MORE MOTHERFUCKING CAREFUL ON WHERE AT HE ALL GOES TO HAND OUT HIS.
motherfucking.
BROSHIP.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

why?
seem like a pretty cool dude to me
maybe a bit on the whacky side
living large with your voluminous pink mane and voodoo priest makeup
but w/e im not here to judge
so i am extending an official offer of broitude
from the desk of the master bro himself
and part of that obligation is personally punching life in the face

[hystericull]

do you like punching things.
IF IT'S A MOTHER FUCKING FACE YOU BE LOOKIN TO PUNCH AT.
how's a motherfuckin bout you be directing them pink knuckles of yourself's.
UP AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S BARE, UGLY NUG.
feelin like that's to be somethin i'm all at to fuckin be needing right about nowish. :o)

[reddeadvirtuoso]

you want me to punch you?

[wat.]

[hystericull]

oh.
WAS YOU OR WAS YOU NOT ALL JUST TELLING IN ME ABOUT HOW WE'RE UP AND BEIN THE CHUMMIEST OF CHUMS.
you and me.
ME AND MOTHERFUCKING YOU.
or are you gonna get your wicked declination on.
AT THIS MOTHERFUCKERS FIRST OFFICIAL BRO REQUEST?
that which being where i be fuckin asking you.
TO PUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FIST.
in my mother.
FUCKING.
face.
HONK HONK HONK HONK.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

uh
i thought you were fucking with me
back where im from bros dont usually request a punch to the face
punching is kind of seen as a negative thing?
but i mean
if you really
legitly
want me to punch you in the face
i can do that

[hystericull]

Oh mY MoSt sIsTeRlY Of bRoThErS
ThAt wOuLd bE AlL A ThInG WhAt's wOuLd fUcKiN Be tHe mOsT GeNeRoUsEsT Of bRo aCtS WhAt i cAn aLl bE BeGiNnInG To tHiNk oF, pRoBaBlY
I'M To bE AlL ReAsOnInG ThAt, LiKe
MaYbE If wHaT'S GoIn tO Do mE AlL ThE FuCk iN MeNtAlLy wAs sOmE SoRt oF CrAcK To tHe nUg
ThEn aLl's a mOtHeRfUcKeR Be nEeDiNg iS A CrAcK BaCk :o)

[reddeadvirtuoso]

if
you say so
got an address where I can deliver one fresh-baked knuckle sandwich?

[hystericull]

the address be:
DORM HALL, ROOM ONE-ZERO-FULL OF TWO-FACED MOTHERFUCKERS.

[text --> action]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

k
be right there!

[OK that didn't actually tell her where he was, but she could at lest figure it out without having to rely on the "two-faced motherfuckers" part.

It didn't take her too long once she got to the first floor of dorm rooms however (though, getting up there from the library took more time than finding the room did), and thankfully spies him with that ridiculous pink mane.

So she figures, she kind of has the element of surprise! So she calls out to him to get his attention--]

Yo. [--and once he turned around, she'd wind back and deliver the best right hook she can manage to the side of his face.

And once that was over she was trying to hide the ow holy shit her hand this is gonna hurt so much in a few more seconds ow ow ow--]

[Action.]

[hystericull]

[Gamzee scoffs at her parting text, dismissing it as nothing but a joke. There's no way someone would actually make their way willingly to go slug someone who had just gotten done flipping the fuck out on the network.]

[There was no way.]

[There was no w--]

[CRACKKKK!!!]

[Gamzee's head snapped to the side with a sickening noise, and in the flurry of utterly overwhelming sensations, realized a little belatedly that his fangs had gotten pushed through his lip mid-punch. There was purple dripping down his chin and blotting on his tongue. It wasn't a ton, but damn did he not expect to have his lip busted just now. Especially by this pint-sized thing!]

[After being sent flying to the side, quite unceremoniously into the terminal, Gamzee spat out a wad of bloody spit. It mixed nicely with the sopor that had already been smeared all over the keys. He always kept public property immaculately clean.]

[Wiping some of the nasty mess from his face, he turned to confront his assailant.]

You had that whole fuckin' walk to be thinkin' on a one-liner.

And you went all with motherfuckin' "yo"!?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Oh um whoops she did

not know her punch would actually do that much damage. She wasn't the strongest kid out there at all, and was pretty small even for her age but. Damn. Her wincing at the purple blood was enough to distract her from her broken bones and her own red blood that was starting to seep out of a few cuts of her own.

Though thankfully she recovers back to cool kid stature by the time he turns to look at her again.]

....

[...Fuck why didn't she think of a witty one-liner?]

In my defense, this place is huge and full of murderous distractions.

[hystericull]

[He chuckled at that, sudden and brief, resting an elbow on his folded leg and his chin in his palm.]

Hope I'm all to be motherfuckin' included in that.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Well, it's my hope that by popping you in the jaw, you'd stop being a fucking whack job and NOT ascend into crazy murder-tier.

If that didn't work I might have to find an elephant tranquilizer for next time.

[hystericull]

[He smacked his tongue around his mouth rather obnoxiously, trying to wake up his fizzled-out nerves and get the blood out of there. She may not have been the strongest slugger, but popping his lip into his teeth like that didn't do any good for anyone. If he was a considerate person, he'd worry for her knuckles.]

Well.

[Smack, smack, smack went his tongue.]

Fuckin' bloated-ath lip might be all makin' it hard to conthentrate on gettin' nathty, I motherfuckin' gueth.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Admittedly she's finding it pretty hard to not let out a bit of a chuckle at his new lisp. At least she wasn't terrified of a psychopathic clown now though!]

That was the plan. [She said as if it totally was her plan all along, holding up her injured hand to shape it into a thumbs up. Not, one of her better ideas.]

Just call me Jade Strider, Insanity Boxer.

[hystericull]

[Don't let your guard down so easily, Jade. He may have no real motive for violence at the moment (you've proven yourself to be quite the decent bro, after all), but this motherfucker is one volatile piece of shit.]

Lookth like Inthanity Boxther'th went to all fuck up hith motherfuckin' fingerth.

[Where there should have been sympathy, or maybe some guilt, there was only a rolling snicker. Real nice.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

[Well that comment suddenly made her feel more self conscious about the fact that she can't move her fingers very well instead of being worried about the pain. She (carefully) returned her hand to a neutral position and looked at it with a frown, her giant sunglasses thankfully hiding most of the embarrassment.]

Yep. Turns out that when an unstoppable fist meets an immovable jawbone, the hand's gonna get jacked up to all hell.

[They don't usually show that part in the movies.]

[hystericull]

[Gamzee's anger levels were surprisingly stagnant for just getting punched in the mouth. This interaction and the painful swelling that had begun on his face had served their purpose as a decent distraction from listening to the shouting match echoing through his brain. He laughs a little too loudly, this time.]

Wath it all feelin' motherfuckin' good? When you did that thit?