005 ♑ [fifth honk]

[hystericull]

A BrOtHeR AiN'T TrYiN To gEt hIs hArSh aLl oN OvEr nOtHiNg sMaLl oR NoThIn
ExCePt tHiS MoThErFuCkIn nOiSe iS Up aNd gOiN FrOm sMaLl sPuDs tO FuCkInG SHIT.
IN LESS MOTHERFUCKING TIME THAN IT TAKES THE FUCKIN OPTIMISTIFFS IN THIS JOINT.
to all let fly from their.
MOTHERFUCKING TRAPS.
about how all it's gonna be gettin.
SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING.
bEtTeR
BuT It dOn't gEt bEtTeR, mY BrOtHeRs aNd bItChEs
It aIn't nEvEr gOnNa gEt nO BeTtEr
No mAtTeR HoW MuCh sPaRkLy fLuFfY NoIsE AnY OnE MoThErFuCkEr's gOnNa wAnNa pUkE AlL OvEr tHe
MOTHERFUCKING.
truth.

ThEy tAkE A BrOtHeR AnD CuT HiM ThE FuCk oPeN
ShOvE ShIt iN HiM WhAt's nOt nEvEr sUpPoSeD To aLl bEiNg iNsIdE
CrEeP AnD CrAwL AlL Up iN HiS FrIeD OuT PaN LiKe iT AiN'T BeEn bLoWn tO BiTs aLrEaDy
MaKe hIm gEt aLl uP In tHe hArShEsT BuSiNeSs wItH HiS ReSpItEbLoCkBrOs
SpEnD HiS SlEePtImE In tHe hAlLs wHeRe hE CaN'T GeT No mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHuTeYe
RiP ThEm gOoD BrOs hE Be aLl sPlItTiN ThIs mOtHeRfUcKiN ShItHoLe wItH FrOm hIm
MaKe tHeM GoNe fOrEvEr
without saying MOTHERFUCKING GOOD bye.
GiVe iN HiM SoMe WICKED MOTHERFUCKING URGES.
that he all ain't never been to feeling before.
MAKE HIM QUESTION his.
mother.
FUCKING SELF.

WhO ArE YoU, mOtHeRfUcKeR?

HaHa
HAHA.
haha.
HONK.
honk.
HONK.
honk.

WHO THE MOTHER FUCK AM I?

Comments

[papshooshing]

Gamzee, that's fucking adorable. You're motherfucking adorable. I don't think my little blood pusher can handle how much you're dishing out here.

I fucking love it.

[ because he does. because Karkat needs Gamzee. that's really all there is too it. ]

[hystericull]

[Holy fuck he's not adorable knock it off Karkat oh my God if his face could get any more purple it would be a fucking miracle. This was not familiar territory this was so nothing he was versed in at all he was pretty sure it'd be easier to just go jump off the side of the fucking Tower or something, for God's sake.]

[And Karkat said he loved it this was too much please leave him to die.]

I, uh--

Sorry.

[???????????]

[WHAT ARE EMOTIONS.]

[papshooshing]

No, no. Don't be sorry. Never be sorry.

[ more hugs. all of the hugs. ]

But I do have one complaint. A real one.

[hystericull]

[Grghhhfgh now that he wasn't a completely inconsolable mess, he could fully appreciate just how much Karkat was getting up in his grill. THIS WOULD BE so much fucking easier if he were high. So. Much. Fucking. Easier. Where did he put his arms did he hug back or was he just supposed to... stand there and accept it or.]

[Affection is something, he was realizing very belatedly, that required a great deal of slime to understand.]

[For now, he would just try to focus on what was, apparently, something serious that was weighing on Karkat's mind.]

Mmmm.

[So encouraging, Gamzee.]

[papshooshing]

You ready for this.

[ Karkat pulls back, hands on his hips. brows furrowed in a slight scowl. ]

What the fuck did you do to your hair?

[hystericull]

[QUITE HONESTLY HE DOES NOT KNOW IF HE'S READY FOR IT AT ALL but he'll brace himself for the worst anyw--]

What!?

[THIS. FACE.]

[papshooshing]

You heard me. What. The Motherfuck. Did you do to your hair?

[hystericull]

What the fuck does it all look like I be doin' to it!?

[He could never be mad at you, Karkat, but he can be snippy because why do you have to insult the hair.]

[papshooshing]

It looks like you're trying to imitate Ampora is what you be doing to it.

[ scarf and all. how can you miss this, Gamzee? ]

[hystericull]

[SCREEEEEEEEEECH HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!! HE DOES NOT HAVE A PRETENTIOUS LOG JAMMED UP HIS NOOK ABOUT HIS FUCKING APPEARANCE LIKE THOSE ASSHOLES DO, OKAY!?]

Bound to all be making that fuckin' observation, since he's the one who all was up and givin' it to me.

[He's still pissed you compared him to those royal douches. Even the one that wasn't royal still acted like a damn princess.]

Let a brother know if he starts getting his motherfucking flush on at your ass, then. Maybe I can get all bent out of mother fucking shape on it when you call it quits, and turn into an even bigger bulgesucker than all what's I am now.

[papshooshing]

Maybe I just happen to like you the way that you are, huh?

[ Karkat listens to Gamzee and fails to suppress the grin. ]

Shouldn't that flush be aimed at Feferi instead of me?

[hystericull]

...Oh.

[KARKAT PLEASE STOP............... Gamzee is now a quiet tall thing just standing there uselessly, because Karkat likes him the way he is and that is. Kind of really nice.]

[He didn't have shitty self-esteem or anything like that. In fact, he was pretty okay with himself most of the time when he wasn't murdering his friends but then again at those times he was also okay with himself. It's just, it was always "you're so weird" or "why are you doing this" or "stop that" or "I can't believe you did such-and-such," never... never, "maybe I just happen to like you the way that you are."]

[What were they talking about, again?]

[Wow, he hadn't spaced out in a long time. He didn't think it was actually possible to anymore.]

Uh--

[papshooshing]

Gamzee?

[ Karkat is all about the concern now. he leans a bit, waving his hand in front of the other troll's face. just what is with all that spacing out anyway? what Karkat's saying can't be that bad, can it? ]

You okay?

[hystericull]

Yuuh.

[He shook his head, flinging his hideous pink hair back and forth as a result, sending it all into his face. W o w was he deteriorating into an imbecile the more he tried to ignore Karkat's affections. Maybe Karkat made him regress. Or something. Who knew? If that was the case he'd... he wouldn't know how to feel about it.]

Yeah. Uh. Yeah, heh.

What were we talkin' on, again?

[papshooshing]

We were talking about getting you cleaned up.

[ a total lie and it should be obvious from the way Karkat's lips quirk into a smirk. hee hee rhyming Karkat snatches up Gamzee's hand and starts to tug to the nearest ablution chamber. ]

[hystericull]

What--

[Oh hell no OH HELL NO THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY WERE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. ABORT. ABORT. Both heels are now firmly planted to the ground!!!]

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MIND!

[papshooshing]

[ just... you're just getting this look, Gamzee. Karkat is hella confused. ]

What?

[hystericull]

[Karkat, stop. You know how he is about Baths. ...Don't you?]

[DON'T YOU!?]

Forget it.

[papshooshing]

[ no, no he doesn't. ]

Are you afraid of water?

[hystericull]

[Well he was going to find out very quickly.]

No.

[Man he lived on a beach come on.]

Just ain't bein' all particularly motherfuckin' fond at what's ablutions are all to be fucking entailing, mostly.

[papshooshing]

You are afraid of getting your little walking nubs wet.

[ well. at least Karkat is laughing just a little. ]

[hystericull]

I ain't motherfuckin' afraid!

[He twists his face up into an angry... pout? What the fuck face was he making.]

Just ain't keen on the fuckin' sudsy scrubby business! The fuck good is it all for, anyhow!? I don't fuckin' do it and not doin' it ain't making me dead. So I ain't gotta.

[papshooshing]

[ reaching for Gamzee's face here. all pale nose rubbings up in here. ]

You gotta. I'll even fill some of it with Sopor so it doesn't really feel like a bath, all right?

[hystericull]

[Shut up he doesn't like that.]

[Shut up.]

I don't got--

[Wait, did you just say the s-word.]

...Is this some weird-ass motherfuckin' test on me or something!?

[papshooshing]

No? We sleep in that shit, Gamzee. As long as it's not ingested, there's not really a problem, is there?