gAmZeE MaKaRa ♑ terminallyCapricious (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hystericull) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
animus_network2012-08-06 01:52 am
hystericull) wrote in animus_network2012-08-06 01:52 am
Entry tags:
- [au1] allen ridgeley,
- [au1] equius zahhak,
- [au1] jade strider,
- [au1] jin shirato,
- [au1] karkat vantas,
- [au6] dolorosa,
- [ou] feferi peixes,
- [ou] gamzee makara,
- [ou] genda koujirou,
- [ou] haldir,
- [ou] kanji tatsumi,
- [ou] karkat vantas,
- [ou] kuja,
- [ou] naoki kashima,
- [ou] romeo,
- [ou] sayaka miki,
- [ou] tavros nitram,
- [ou] veigar
005 ♑ [fifth honk]
ExCePt tHiS MoThErFuCkIn nOiSe iS Up aNd gOiN FrOm sMaLl sPuDs tO FuCkInG SHIT.
IN LESS MOTHERFUCKING TIME THAN IT TAKES THE FUCKIN OPTIMISTIFFS IN THIS JOINT.
to all let fly from their.
MOTHERFUCKING TRAPS.
about how all it's gonna be gettin.
SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING.
bEtTeR
BuT It dOn't gEt bEtTeR, mY BrOtHeRs aNd bItChEs
It aIn't nEvEr gOnNa gEt nO BeTtEr
No mAtTeR HoW MuCh sPaRkLy fLuFfY NoIsE AnY OnE MoThErFuCkEr's gOnNa wAnNa pUkE AlL OvEr tHe
MOTHERFUCKING.
truth.
ThEy tAkE A BrOtHeR AnD CuT HiM ThE FuCk oPeN
ShOvE ShIt iN HiM WhAt's nOt nEvEr sUpPoSeD To aLl bEiNg iNsIdE
CrEeP AnD CrAwL AlL Up iN HiS FrIeD OuT PaN LiKe iT AiN'T BeEn bLoWn tO BiTs aLrEaDy
MaKe hIm gEt aLl uP In tHe hArShEsT BuSiNeSs wItH HiS ReSpItEbLoCkBrOs
SpEnD HiS SlEePtImE In tHe hAlLs wHeRe hE CaN'T GeT No mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHuTeYe
RiP ThEm gOoD BrOs hE Be aLl sPlItTiN ThIs mOtHeRfUcKiN ShItHoLe wItH FrOm hIm
MaKe tHeM GoNe fOrEvEr
without saying MOTHERFUCKING GOOD bye.
GiVe iN HiM SoMe WICKED MOTHERFUCKING URGES.
that he all ain't never been to feeling before.
MAKE HIM QUESTION his.
mother.
FUCKING SELF.
WhO ArE YoU, mOtHeRfUcKeR?
HaHa
HAHA.
haha.
HONK.
honk.
HONK.
honk.
WHO THE MOTHER FUCK AM I?
no subject
yES, i REMEMBER,,
[ ....
Well-
That was .... unexpected!
Also, it's a good thing they were both hiding behind a wall a text because Tavros was all flustered and ... scowling intensely at the screen. He didn't know exactly how- but Gamzee managed to strike a pretty sensitive spot back there. Hurts like a bitch, but- his discomfort didn't last for long. He knew his brother is not feeling very well, and he shouldn't get personal with him right now ... or ever! Yes, he learned that the hard way. Never ever again.
So, he's going to ignore it ever being mentioned. It seems the best option right now. Okay, here goes nothing. ]
bRO, i DON'T GET IT,
i THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU HAD YOUR RECUPERACOON BACK,,
iS THE SLIME NOT HELPING YOU GET ANY PROPER REST?
,,
aLSO, iF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, iF YOU DO, fEEL FREE TO NOT RESPOND,
bUT,
wHAT KIND OF IDEAS YOU'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW?
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FOR GETTING MY FUCKIN ASS ALL UP AND TURNED INTO GAMZILLA.
bUt bRo tHaT ThInG'S BeEn aLl iN ThE MoThErFuCkIn rOoM
WhErE I AiN'T DaRiNg tO Be sEtTiNg mY MoThErFuCkInG FeEt aT
So hAlLwAy iT FuCkIn iS FoR ThIs mOtHeRfUcKeR!
hahahahAhAhAhAHA.
you wanna know, my sweet brother?
MY SWEETEST OF MOTHERFUCKING BROS?
want to know what all seeds been sowed in this motherfucker's rotten pan?
I DON'T THINK YOU MOTHERFUCKING DO. >:o)
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bRO, i WISH YOU TOLD ME, wE COULD HAVE TAKEN A NAP TOGETHER, oR SOMETHING,
wORKED PRETTY WELL FOR US LAST TIME, rIGHT? uMM, rEGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THAT!
iT CAN BE A THING, wHEN YOU'RE UP FOR IT,,
,,
yEAH, wELL, i GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT,
bUT, i THINK I SHOULD KNOW, aNYWAY,,
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ALWAYS.
up for the shit what's all like that motherfuckin is. ;o)
MAYBE I CAN TELL THEM SECRETS IN YOU WHEN WE GET TO LOOKIN ON EACH OTHER.
whisper them all up at your hear ducts as we be fallin the fuck to sleep.
BE PRETTY MOTHER FUCKING HARD TO KEEP THEM DAYMARES OUT THAT WAY.
honk HONK honk HONK.
what do you say.
BROTHER?
no subject
wHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET?
iF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, bACK TO YOUR ROOM,
wE CAN DO THIS ELSEWHERE,,
wHATEVER MAKES YOU, uM, cOMFORTABLE,
no subject
EVEN IF MY BONES BE BUSTED OUT FROM MY MOTHER FUCKIN SKIN.
even if my guts be all ripped the fuck from my mother.
FUCKING.
insides.
I WILL BE MOTHERFUCKING COMFORTABLE.
so then alls i gotta be doing is asking one thing.
WHERE THE FUCK YOU AT, MY BROTHER?
no subject
uM,
[ He knew there was a compliment somewhere! If he ignores all the gory details ... ]
i FEEL THE SAME WAY, bRO,
}:)
i'M IN THE MEDIA ROOM,,
[Text-->Action.]
[His feelings were fucking rolling around in his stomach and chest and skull. His thoughts were everything from innocent to not-so-innocent. He would have vaulted from his spot at the terminal if he wasn't so God damn tired. The chair legs screeched across the floor as he pushed himself away from the screen, rising to unsteady feet and trying to remember the way to the media room as they carried him forward.]
[Action.]
He was doing that thing again- over thinking shit. He really needs to stop doing it all the fucking time because it brings nothing but unnecessary conflicts. It was a lot easier back in the days where he was so ridiculously comfortable and everything was rainbows and sunshine. You know, when it was so mu-
Okay, no more over-thinking shit!
He stepped away from the terminal and shoved his hands inside his pockets, making his way to their promised meeting spot. It didn't take him long to reach the place, and once he did- he decided to distract himself with one of the tower's video games as he waited for Gamzee to show up. ]
[Action.]
[What was he doing? Playing a game? That was so... so adorable... so precious... the way his hands held the controller with such confidence, fingers pressing the buttons in time, eyes fixed to the screen. If Gamzee loomed just a little further, he could probably see the boy biting his tongue in concentration...]
[Oh, when did he get so close? When did he get behind him? Gamzee was looking at anything but the game that had Tavros so preoccupied. He was more interested in watching him from behind in silence. Taking in every single subtle move he made.]
[Action.]
He huffs as he waited for the game to reload, idly pressing on the buttons and then- suddenly, he felt a weird sensation, and it brought chills to his back, urging him to sit up and have his ears all perked up. He could almost feel the heavy weight of someone's gaze on him, and he quickly turned his head to the right, and then all the way to the left.
Nothing.
He sulks in his seat a little, and it appears that he had given up, but before he returns to his game, he decided to take another look back and over his shoulder. And ... he finally noticed the highblood.
Needless to say, he jumped a little and dropped the controller. ]
Woah!
--Um. Hey, Gamzee.
[Action.]
[The feeling of surprise, and the anxiety that rolled off of Tavros as he'd gotten chills down his spine sent curiously reactive chills down Gamzee's spine. It was an interesting sensation. One he'd felt only a handful of times before, and not since...]
[Tavros' sudden realization of his presence had jolted Gamzee out of his train of thought. All he could do was smile sweetly down at the boy below, curling his long fingers gently around the back of where he was seated.]
Hope I ain't motherfuckin' interrupting.
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[ He breaks their eye contact briefly as he reached to grab the controller from the ground, placing it aside. He's not really bothered to finish playing. Not when his attention is centered elsewhere.
He then shifted on the cushions and onto his knees, grasping on the edge of the couch and leveling himself so the highblood's figure was no longer towering over him. It felt unsettling, for some reason. Now that they were at the same level, nose to nose, Tavros' lips curled up in a tiny smile. Man, he's not oblivious. He knew he was looking at someone he shouldn't trust right now, and every single cell in his think pan screamed 'run the fuck away', making his knees weak and his stomach twist ... and he felt gross in general. But, in the end, he chose to stay. For many logical reasons!
Actually, for one stupid reason but whatever. ]
... How are you feeling now, brother?
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[Gamzee's almost completely unresponsive while Tavros sits himself up in front of him. His eyes are wide, vacantly fixed on the general area where Tavros is, but not looking right at him. That eerie grin is still spread wide across his mouth. The only noticeable change would be the pace of his breathing, quickened just a little as he gets a face full of Taurus.]
[His pulse was pounding in his ears, but that bug-eyed expression stayed on, unwavering, as his fingers slid over the back of the couch to slowly catch Tavros'.]
Fine. Fine, fine, soooo motherfucking fine, now, my brother. 'Cept I ain't been all having no fuckin' sleep, yo. Lotsa tiredness pullin' down what's at my motherfuckin' lookstubs.
[He toyed with the backs of Tavros' fingers, tilting his head inquisitively.]
But you can get your most wickedest of assists on in me with that, won't you, bro? Won't you?
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While considering his options, Tavros rolled his eyes to the side and lower the ground, but he kept his hand where it is before he ... gently curled his fingers around Gamzee's, giving him a slight, reassuring squeeze. It was a lot easier to react and think when he pretends the grin on Gamzee's face didn't exist. ]
Of course, bro. I'll do my best to help out.
[ He finally released his hand and settled on the sofa again, getting all comfortable. He then turned his head and smiled at the highblood, gently patting on the cushions and beckoning for Gamzee to join him. ]
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[But he was feeling a little off right now. He had been feeling a little off for a long while, actually. But all of that seemed entirely unimportant when Tavros shifted his hands to hold Gamzee's own.]
Good.............
[He let out a shaky breath, grunting a little in disapproval when Tavros relinquished his grip. Oh, oh but then he was smiling back up at him and it was the most heartbreaking little smile. Gamzee wanted to melt into a disgusting purple puddle all over the floor. Instead, he made his way around to the front of the couch, taking in the sight of Tavros sitting before him.]
[He was ready to help him. He wanted to, and oh, did it sound so good hearing it from his own lips. Almost as an afterthought, Gamzee slid on to the couch, draping himself far too close to Tavros to be remotely acceptable, hands on his legs and face inches away from his. His breath hitched as he attempted to suck it in.]
Such a good bro to me. Such a good motherfuckin' bro you always are.
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Yet, all he did was tilt his head to the side. His features were oddly calm, but a slight discomfort is still lurking around. Looking at Gamzee right now made him realize that he had a lot to say to him , and the temptation was stronger than ever, but Tavros was smart enough to learn from previous mistakes and acknowledge that being selfish is totally unacceptable in any given situation. Now, all he needs to do is focus on being the best brother he can ever be, and keep that smile going strong.
It was an easy thing to accomplish, and soon after he brought his hand up, gently curling a few locks behind Gamzee's ear. He was rather fond of that color now, which is seriously ridiculous, but Tavros couldn't bring himself to care. ]
Heh, you've always looked out for me. It's time for you to step back and let me help you for a change.
[ He then slides his hand down the highblood's slim arm, reaching to grasp his hand once again, lifting it up slightly while rubbing his thumb against those knuckles. ]
... You feel like laying down, brother?
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[They were so close - closer than Tavros had ever allowed him to be before without a cacophony of "uhhh"s that ultimately resulted in him awkwardly squirming away. No, now he was touching him, telling him he was going to help him.]
[Oh, God, did he want him to help him. He could help him right now, just like this. Keep putting those warm-blooded hands on him and telling him how much you're going to take care of him and--]
[And, oh, there were those fingers, trailing down his arm. Gamzee grinned at the touch, moving his head forward just enough for their foreheads and noses to brush. The warmth ran across the backs of his knuckles, palms sliding easily together. Tavros grabbed his hand he grabbed his hand he was holding his hand they were holding hands and Gamzee suddenly was aware of jack shit, except for the fact that his pump biscuit was beating solely in his eardrums, thumping loud and fast like an epileptic percussionist, and there were tinglies in his guts that kind of made him want to throw up all over the place and then there was this flush that seemed to blanket his whole body at the same time that all of this other crap was happening and he just.]
[Sighed.]
[He sighed because he was worked up and Tavros was holding his hand and asking him to lay down, which he completely misinterpreted. Gamzee illustrated his grave error by nudging his forehead into Tavros', pushing him back with subtle cues like that, and also using his free hand to press Tavros' shoulders back. Lay back, bitch!!!]
Yeahhh... y-yeah... feelin' all like I'm wantin' to motherfuckin' do that shit. Want to do that shit real fuckin' bad.
[The grin was still there, a slash of shark teeth that had turned pretty mischievous at some point.]
With you.
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Hahah- nope. This is a bad idea, and he should back off right now. Yes.
Except-- Gamzee's approach took a whole new level when their foreheads touched, feeling the slight ticklish sensation as he nuzzled him. He was ... too close. Way too close. How did this happen?! He could almost feel the warmth of his breath caressing his skin and dear god Tavros felt so fucking embarrassed from the way his toes curled so intensely, urging him to straighten his back and close his eyes as that hideous shade of brown took over his cheeks. Hopefully, Gamzee wouldn't mind that crushing grasp on his hand ... because Tavros needed to blow some steam. And, It ... kinda helped. Calming him down and all. Just enough for him to remember to fucking breathe, open his eyes again, and release the tension with a much-needed exhale.
Calm down and think.
Gamzee misunderstood his gesture, which is expected, but he had to approach this wisely. He didn't want to hurt his brother, but most importantly- he didn't want to take advantage of him either, because -regardless of how disgusted he feels for admitting it- a part of him wanted to roll with this. Still, he couldn't ignore the fact the highblood is not really in the best state of mind, and he is probably unaware of what he's doing! He didn't sleep for days, and he's under some serious emotional stress from the last experience, and he's going through a rough time and and- the list goes on.
Bottom line: Shitty timing strikes again. Back the fuck off, Nitram. Try again next time.
And so, he gently pressed his hand against Gamzee's chest, stopping him from getting any closer. The smile returns to his features once again, even when it was anything but genuine. ]
H-Hold on, bro. It won't work out ... this way. Trust me! So, I think, uhhh, it would be better for you, to take up all the space. Ya' know? [ A fact he empathized by shifting to the side and offering more space for Gamzee to rest on, guiding him to lay his head down on those comfy cushions and curl up. ]
Come on, brother. Make yourself comfortable, yeah?
1/?
[Oh. Oh, God.]
[It was this feeling. They were so close, hand-in-hand, Tavros had fluttered those eyelids closed in a precious sweep of his lashes, and Gamzee could almost feel the heat radiating off of the flushed face before him. It was that jittery, high-energy feeling that made his pump biscuit leap right into his protein chute, where it proceeded to bounce off of the sides of his throat like a strung-out superball while the rest of his body proceeded to heat up to the point where he was pretty sure his forever-cold, forever-dry palms were sweaty.]
[Oh, God, he was going to kiss him.]
[He was going to do it he was going to do it good lord how could he not look at how fucking cute he was what the fuck was he waiting for oh my God okay he was going to do it his stomach felt like it was going to fall out of his ass. Or shove his bloodpusher out of the way and try to make its escape through his mouth. Either or was happening and he really didn't have time to figure it out because he was going to kiss him now.]
[Oh fuck oh fuck he was a psychopath but he was only six fucking sweeps old he had no clue what the fuck he was doing whatever it didn't matter because here.]
[He.]
[Went.]
[His face was on fire and was probably somewhat reminiscent of a fucking eggplant right about now as he moved forward, hastily closing what little distance remained between them, sliding the tip of their noses together and oh shit did was he supposed to keep his mouth closed or open it or...?!?!???!?????? It didn't matter it was too late to go back because he was about to--]
2/?
[OH FUCK HE OPENED HIS EYES.]
3/3
[But the boy moved away. Gamzee's eye did a magnificently insane twitch of irritation. His upper lip soon followed suit. He was a twitchy, irritated mess, sitting there on the couch like a fucking douchebag, staring at Tavros as he tried coaxing Gamzee back down on to the pillows.]
no subject
Tavros was just as shocked, staring at Gamzee with equally wide eyes and for a very long amount of time he had nothing to say. Absolutely nothing. And once he allowed the situation to sink in, and his think pan started rolling again- he went through a whirlwind of emotions.
He decided that he hated that look on Gamzee's face, or the fact he was being all irritated with him. It never happened before, but ever since he arrived to this tower- no, mainly after that specific incident, things between them just went down into flames. If this keeps up, he's pretty sure it will get so incredibly awkward, and it will only result to him avoiding Gamzee, and he didn't want them to reach that dreadful point.
The inner struggle radiated on his features, and Tavros looked genuinely upset before he buried his face into his hands, stretching his fingers and guiding them up to his scalp, purposely ruffling his mohawk and breathing in.
Fuck, why is this so difficult? Why does he keep messing things up? Why can't he fucking do anything right?!!
Okay, first course of action: get rid of that look on Gamzee's face, it was driving him crazy. He can deal with all kinds of bullshit but upsetting Gamzee is intolerable. So, he settled on the couch again, facing the highblood but not attempting to touch him yet. ]
Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm really really sorry for being a complete idiot. But, in my defence, I didn't know you were trying to ... kiss me.
[ He shrugs, staring down at his fingers as he toyed with them nervously. ]
If I knew, brother, I wouldn't have moved away.
[ oh fuck. This is really embarrassing. fuck fuck fuck fuck. ]
... I tried to reach out to you that day, but it didn't work out very well. It was my mistake, and I take the blame. I knew back then it was not the right time, and it's still not the right time for this. I ...might be doing the same mistake again, but I don't think I have any other option but to be truthful with you.
You're not well, brother. I thought I could help, but- I just keep messing things up, and I'm tired of failing you all the time.
... all the time.
So how- do you expect me to look you in the eye and persuade a flushed relationship when I can't even offer something as simple as comfort?
[ And quietly. ] .... I'll be nothing more than a burden to you.
no subject
[There had to be something else to it.
Not that Gamzee was fucking nuts, nooo...Tavros wouldn't do this. Not Tavros. Sweet, innocent Tavros. Oh, that's why he loved him so much. So soft, sharp as razors somewhere in there. Gamzee'd seen it. He knew. He knew. But Tavros wasn't like that. He was so gentle. Part of Gamzee wished he could be him, falling into his eyes and his voice every time he had the chance to look on him. A smitten mess of adoration. A smitten, unstable, obsessive, possessive mess.][The hard, angry lines on Gamzee's face softened over time, as Tavros continued speaking.]
I'm well. I'm motherfucking well...
[Gamzee took his hand from where it had been pressed into the couch cushion, folding and curling it in between Tavros' own as the boy had fiddled with them.]
Look, look, I'm well, I'm well, I'm well...
[He repeated it, over and over, as if it would make it true. His face was now the extreme opposite of irritation. His brows were drawn up, eyes open, wide and afraid, mouth hanging open even after he'd finished his pleading.]
You never... fail me, never, never, motherfucking never, ever, ever...
[Tavros was inching away emotionally, he could fucking feel it. The urge to rip the flushed feelings out of the brownblood was almost as intense as his desire to beg for them. It was turning into a battle between the two, with the way he was acting. He wasn't well, and this scenario was just amplifying all of the feelings he'd tried so. Fucking. Hard. To hide. To squash down. He'd told himself that if Tavros didn't want him in that quadrant, they'd stay friends. Forever. He wouldn't push him. What the fuck happened!? He'd gone fucking insane, is what had happened, and all of the emotions he'd stifled with sopor and the indifference caused by it had exploded out of him one hundred-fold.]
You ain't all ever knowing what all you do to me. For me. You don't. You won't. You don't. You don't.
[Oh, God, he was going to stomp on his heart again, wasn't he? He was going to run off like he had before, wasn't he? Wasn't he? Wasn't he?]
no subject
You know, everything is a total mess right now, but he truly believed that things will get better. Gamzee will get better, and they can ... be happy again. One day. It might take them a while, but it's not unachievable.
With that thought in mind, he gently hushed the highblood to stop his pleading, and pulled him closer. There is no hesitation on his part as he wrapped his arms around him, strong and confident, yet flexible enough to allow Gamzee to get comfortable within the embrace and maybe ... lean on him if he wanted.
It has never been this difficult between them, and Tavros realized that he was purposely creating unnecessary conflict. He can blame it on the tower and the stress in general, but he's not going to do that. He will take responsibility to his own actions, and while it was so much easier to escape and hide, he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to leave Gamzee's side at all. He needs him. He loves him. It was as simple as that, and he should stop complicating the situation.
There is a sudden sense of relief and he felt like he can finally breathe! He sighs, leaning close to nuzzle Gamzee's cheek briefly before speaking. ]
You're not well right now, but-- I'm confident that you will get better in no time. And ... I promise I'll get better, too. I'm sure everything will work out ...
[ He runs his fingers through those pink locks, smiling a little. ] I care about you. A lot. And I'm not going anywhere, bro. I won't let you go.
For now, we need to focus on getting better. Just you and me.
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